New pregnancies - how to break the news?

DarthNBJenni · April 2011

How far along did you wait to tell either your ex, or your spouse's ex? And how did you tell them?

Littlejen22 · April 2011

Before they find out from the kids.

CocoBrynne · April 2011

I didn't tell anyone besides immediate family until after my first u/s at 9wks when we saw the hb. DH told everyone he met tho lol. We don't have any contact with BM but her mother found out around 16wks or so I think. I honestly don't see what the big deal is with the ex's and BP's finding out about new pregnancies, it's frankly none of their business, I could careless if BM had another 20 kids bc it doesn't impact us.

SWmama · April 2011

I was 11 wks pg. DH told her the night before we told SS. That way, in case SS would want to call her and tell her the good news (which he did) she had a heads up.

I agree with PP, before they hear it from the kids.

Banana44 · April 2011

I was 14 weeks. We told BM after we told SS. We told her the expected month of arrival and not much else, but we don't have a good relationship. We just wanted her to know in case SS had questions - that's really the only part that concerns them.

jaminjeff · April 2011

We are leaving it up to DSS to tell when he wants to tell her, which he said last night he was actually waiting to tell her at the same time he tells his uncle and aunt next time they visit. DSS is 16 (almost 17) though and will be 17 1/2 when the baby is born. BM also doesn't answer phone calls from DH (and refuses to speak to me or acknowledge my existence), so there's not a lot of communication going on there.

DarthNBJenni · April 2011

My daughters are still a bit young to spill the news, but his is 3 and possibly could. He wants to buy all 3 "Big Sister" shirts and send them to their BM/BF wearing those. I'm pretty sure that'd go over about as well as a fart in church.

Banana44 · April 2011

DarthNBJenni:
My daughters are still a bit young to spill the news, but his is 3 and possibly could. He wants to buy all 3 "Big Sister" shirts and send them to their BM/BF wearing those. I'm pretty sure that'd go over about as well as a fart in church.

We bought my StepSon a Big Brother sweatshirt (it was fall) when we told him the news. He wore the sweatshirt for 3 days straight and begged to wear it to his Mom's house. We let him wear it - but I'm sure it was unappreciated! It came right back to us during the next custody exchange!

Either way - neither ex is going to be happy. Personally - I was the type to wait until after the first tri-mester to tell anyone (I didn't even tell family), so I wouldn't tell your Ex until 12 weeks or your obviously showing!

Good Luck! (I think your bf has a good sense of humor - I like it!)

JenJune3 · April 2011

Well, we wanted to wait to tell my ex and DH's ex, but as you now know from my post about BM spending wayyy too much time with DH's family, she found out I was pregnant about 2 hours after we told DH's mom. So, then we went ahead and told the kids, since we wanted them to hear it from us, and my DD immediately told her dad on the phone that night as well, so the cat was out of the bag around 5 weeks pregnant! If I would have had it my way, it would have been around 10 weeks, but oh well!

FutureMrsWittig · April 2011

We told SD when we were 12 weeks. Sent her mom a text that night simply saying, "We told [SD] tonight that we're going to have a baby in July."

We found out from SD when BM was pregnant. Thought it would be better if she heard it from us than from SD.

normajeane6126 · April 2011

My son is 2.5 weeks old, and SD's mom *still* doesn't know.

karatechrissy · April 2011

normajeane6126:
My son is 2.5 weeks old, and SD's mom *still* doesn't know.

Really???Your SD hasn't said anything? lol that's crazy.

I think you have to do it at some point, but honestly do it when you are comfortable.

normajeane6126 · April 2011

karatechrissy:
normajeane6126:
My son is 2.5 weeks old, and SD's mom *still* doesn't know.
Really???Your SD hasn't said anything? lol that's crazy.
I think you have to do it at some point, but honestly do it when you are comfortable.

I guess not, or else her mom just refuses to connect the dots. I keep telling SO he needs to just man up and put it out there, but he still insists that it's none of her business.

carebear939 · April 2011

I have been stressing over this since I found out I was PG. My DH will be deployed when I am about 8 weeks and I feel like he should be there when we tell my SD. Unfortunately, I think 8 weeks is a little early to tell a 4-year-old and I would really rather the BM didn't find out until I was at least showing. Not quite sure what we will decide to do.

summerlilly2008 · April 2011

We told SK's after my 1st ultrasound. We asked if they had any questions and they didn't. They went and told her when they got home. We didn't tell BM because we both believe that it's not her business, nor would we expect her to tell us if she were to ever remarry and get pregnant unless she plans her wedding on our weekend with the boys and expect us to rearrange our schedule to accomodate her. We specifically planned our wedding when we would have the boys even though it meant no honeymoon (or even much of a wedding night). Having them there was way more important.

trebmal · April 2011

I am not sure how we'll do it. BM let FH know when she got engaged and when the wedding was planned because it was our weekend to have FSD. FSD has been begging us to have a baby and we aren't even getting married till this summer, (def. date is up in the air due to some medical issues with my dad, but we are only going to the courthouse anyways so no worries there...we plan on having a reception later but again, waiting on results from my dad's cancer issues). I only hope she stays that excited. She's the only child, only grandchild on FHs side of the family and is 7 years old so she's rather used to and comfortable with being as such. I think she will tell her mom as soon as she gets home if we don't tell her first. I like the idea of the "big sister" tee shirt, though. Not to be snotty but cute for her to wear and I know she'll be jazzed and if she wears it home she can wear it more often.

wintersnight20 · May 2011

We have primary custody of my SD..luckily she's too little too really say anything. Her BM is pregnant again but due to her history of violence towards me I don't plan on saying a word to her.

New pregnancies - how to break the news?

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