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Isolated from family and friends

DiademChiDiademChi member
in Baby Showers

This is a bit of "putting the cart before the horse" since I'm in the 1st tri, but I wanted some help brainstorming.

We live on the West Coast about 2000 miles away from all our family, whom are scattered in the Midwest and New York.  Most of our close friends also live on the East Coast (we just moved to the area less than 2 years ago). 

Does this mean a baby shower is impossible?  Plane tickets are cost prohibitively expensive to bring everyone out to the West Coast to see us.  Even though this is the first grandchild being born to both sets of parents, I suppose we should just forget about ever having a shower?

Married 5-24-2008;
BFP 4-19-11. Ezri Ana born on due date, Dec 30 2011!
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BFP 10-05-2014; MMC 11-15-2014.
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Re: Isolated from family and friends

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    StefaniePaceStefaniePace
    Has any family members brought up the topic of a baby shower? Also do you have any birthdays or anything between now and then? You can ask for southwest (or whatever) gift cards. I would talk to your family and tell them that you would really like to have a baby shower and maybe you could fly out there. You can ship the stuff back home or have the larger items shipped directly to your house off the registry.
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    TotallyNot_IshaTotallyNot_Isha member

    I can tell you what we're doing, although it does violate what some feel is acceptable etiquette.

    We live in CA. Our families live in MI. We went home over THanksgiving due to a death in teh family, and spent Thanksgiving (and also got our BFP) while we were home. Unfortunately, we are both teachers and cannot afford to fly there again this year. Similarly, our families can only afford one trip, and are planning to come after the baby is born to meet her.

    We are having a virtual shower. It was my mom's idea. She is having a little lunch (meatballs, salad, quiche) and cake. People are having the gifts shipped to me, and I won't open them until we are all in a chat room together (we aren't using skype, we are using another program where many people can be in the chat, because I have out of state friends, as well).

    While etiquette does go against this, my shower is really family only, save for a few bffs. Because of this, I was ok with doing it. It is SO important for my aunts (I'm the oldest on one side) to do something. They are all helping out and are so excited. Because I was uncomfortable with etiquette, I didn't invite anyone outside of family. We are sending invites to out-of-state friends, but only to those who basically said they BETTER get invitations so they can be in on the chat room :) I would never invite the semi-fringe friends that I might if I were there. Like I said, I was really nervous/uncomfortable at first, but knowing it's just the people who wouldn't care about etiquette--I'm super excited.

    So that's what we are doing :)

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    starz57182starz57182 member

    We are in the exact same situation, but opposite coasts. :)

    I also just figured I wouldn't be having any showers (and we were fine with that), but I lucked out and will now be having two - one planned by my husband's office, and one from my work. So, my close friends and family won't be at either one, but it was really very sweet of these women to offer to do this for us. You might be surprised at who wants to throw you one.  

    I also went ahead and put some of my close friends and family on the invite list for one of my local showers, even though I know they can't come. I did this because I had several people request to be notified of any showers we might have and because they obviously would be invited if we still lived closer. My sister in particular (who lives 3000 miles away mind you) made it known that if I have a shower she "better be invited!" :)

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    rhubarb123rhubarb123 member
    If you've lived there for 2 years then most likely someone from the West coast will throw you a shower.  You could always invite the closest ones to any shower you have on the West coast...it is their option whether they want to come for a visit.  Personally, I'm with your family - I'd wait until after the baby is born.  I wouldn't worry about trying to have a shower with your midwest family and friends.  Most of them will just probably send you a gift either before or after the baby is born.  It really is not the end of the world not to have a shower - you can still register and if people ask what you need you can tell them where you are register (your mom will probably be letting people know too so make sure she is aware).
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    samanthadarneillesamanthadarneille member

    My situation is sooo similar!! I moved to the east coast because of military and my whole family is on the west. It is also the first grandbaby and I told my mom that I wanted a shower and was thinking about doing one. But no one offered to throw one, which was kind of depressing for me.

    But I guess we are having one after the baby is born..

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    hecallsmecathecallsmecat member
    We have a similar situation, but we live in London and family/friends are all in New York. We are doing the virtual shower thing where I will unwrap the gifts that I registered for at Babies R Us (UK) while skyping with everyone who will be at my mom's house. I just had to be sure that everyone knew to convert dollars to british pounds before deciding what girfts to purchase so they didn't get a huge shock when their credit card bills arrive!
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    Angel0423Angel0423

    I don't know what it's like to be in this situation but here's what I would do:

    1.  I wouldn't count on a shower since everyone is so far away.  I would start now saving toward the big things and plan on buying at least the furniture myself.

    2. People who want to send you gifts will, so go ahead and make a registry (this way they can shop online and the gifts can be shipped straight to you)!

    3. Take some maternity pics with DH and make a "seasons greetings" card/post card and send it around Thanksgiving (I see you are due NYE). This will encourage your family to celebrate with you I am sure! (and Christmas gifts may become more helpfully baby gifts)

    4. Make a baby website!!  My DH's family lives on the other side of the state and loves to see the updates with my growing belly, ultrasound pics, estimated size, etc.  let everyone feel like they are part of it and I'm sure you will be "showered" even if it's not a formal shower.  

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