Did you announce your loss on FB?

PiperS · May 2011

I announced my pg last time at 12wks (I thought that was the start of the 2nd tri lol). I lost my baby at 13wks 3days

I never announced my loss. I actually avoided FB for several weeks. I don't want to say anything about my current pg yet but I think I will want to eventually like when we find out the sex or even if I start getting tagged in pictures when I start showing. The people who are close to me know about my loss but I have many FB friends that do not. Do I have to mention it or can I just let them guess on their own? I am sure many people are already wondering although no one has asked, thank goodness!

MrsAtch · May 2011

We did untell on facebook. It sucked but it was the easiest way to get our message out. We will NOT be talking about this pregnancy on facebook- not only because I am not comfortable, but more importantly I am friends with a few ladies that are still TTCAL and I wouldn't do that to them. I'll post when this little one is born if we get that lucky.

Honestly I would do what you are comfortable with- if you think you need to post about your loss, or your current pregnancy that's your choice. Hopefully no one will be tactless enough to ask if you don't.

Bride2b2004 · May 2011

We also had a loss discovered in the 13th week. We never really announced (Thank Goodness) and I never fb about pg anyway (just nms). We ended up having to untell only family and close friends.

I would not mention the loss on fb, if they even remember your announcement, they will eventually ask or guess on their own.

As far as this and future pg, word will spread in person and some chatter will end up on fb, for example if you find out the sex. But belly shots and constant status updates are a little AW and over the top IMO. That's just MHO, you should do what you want to do.

rvandiver0705 · May 2011

Yep, but we had a later loss. It was the easiest way to get the news out to the randoms.

kathymarie · May 2011

Not at the time. I hadn't had the chance to announce the pregnancy.

Later, during M/C month or day (October 15) I made a statement. I've since started a pregnancy blog for this guy that I posted to FB. I talk about my loss in it and have gotten some private messages regarding it.

lew0509 · May 2011

We never announced it to start with because it was so early. No one knows about it unless I tell them in person.

Junebug060609 · May 2011

I never mentioned a word about my first pregnancy on FB. It was over almost as soon as it began (~5wks), and I wasn't comfy making such a public announcement until ~13wks even back then. I do intend on posting something on Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day if I don't happen to be in labor that day (its my EDD, Oct 15th).

I think if you just do what suits you moving forward that you'll be fine. A few people may ask, so you should be prepared for that, but most will probably put 2 and 2 together.

shoefreak85 · May 2011

I never announced my pregnancy, but I did come out about my loss on October 15. Since then, I have been very open about my loss. Everyone has been very supportive!

thewayiam · May 2011

I didn't announce on FB (though my closer friends/family/colleagues all knew we were pregnant. I didn't unannounce either.

jillcanada · May 2011

We lost our twins at 18 weeks. Everyone knew I was pregnant, so I posted a note on FB to let friends know what had happened.

PiperS · May 2011

Thanks for all the advice and sharing. Sometimes it is so hard to know how to act in this situation.

Bride2b2004:

As far as this and future pg, word will spread in person and some chatter will end up on fb, for example if you find out the sex. But belly shots and constant status updates are a little AW and over the top IMO. That's just MHO, you should do what you want to do.

I totally agree. I am not a belly shot or constant update kind of girl. I am in two weddings this summer so there will be pictures of me pregnant on facebook and I wondered how I would confront it. I also thought I would want to announce the sex of my baby since I mostly communicate with certain cousins and old friends on FB and rarely in person or on the phone.

kbel424 · May 2011

kathymarie:
Not at the time. I hadn't had the chance to announce the pregnancy.

Later, during M/C month or day (October 15) I made a statement. I've since started a pregnancy blog for this guy that I posted to FB. I talk about my loss in it and have gotten some private messages regarding it.

This, minus the blog. Once I did put something up, I received a bunch of private messages from friends of mine who had also had miscarriages that I had no idea about (friends from high school and college that I really only keep in touch with on FB). It really helped me to not feel so alone and to know that so many people actually understood what I was feeling.

BeautyfromAshes · May 2011

Yes. We hadn't announced the pregnancy yet, but about a month after our loss I posted a note I had written on my brother's popular blog, I'm a writer and he asked me to write something about our loss, and I decided to post it on FB as well. We got a lot of support.

When my due date passed recently, we let a dozen pink balloons go with our kids at the park, and I posted pics of that and that I was "wishing I was meeting you today instead of missing you".

I feel like it is a part of who I am, she is one of my children, and I share about her when I feel like it.

jgengo0 · May 2011

Yup. I announced we were having twins at 15 weeks. Most everyone knew anyways...I felt I definitely needed to say something when we lost Lilah at 26 weeks. I didn't want news traveling through the grapevine and people getting the story mixed up. I wrote a very long note. Next pregnancy I will not announce on Facebook.

butterflynola · May 2011

Yes I did and DH did, however it was a 22 week loss we had already posted about having a girl, etc and I was in the hospital the whole week and my DH was posting updates and asking for prayers so when it happened it made sense to post it so that people would know and not ask me how my baby is doing which I still get occasionally anyways. I will not be posting anything on fb this time, maybe after the baby is born?

kjr · May 2011

I did announce it. We had already announced that we found out we were having another boy. So I felt it was easiest to tell everyone at once that we lost him, too. Of course, I still had a lot of people asking me what happened and why I wasn't pregnant anymore. Pretty awful.

FmrAFBrat · May 2011

I didn't announce it last time & don't plan on announcing it this time. I'm shocked how many people I know have announced at 4 weeks and put every little update on their facebook. Some of the people on there I haven't seen in years....so I don't think updates on a pregnancy or upcoming vacations are the smartest things to post-bc you never know.

HadleyS · May 2011

If we would have announced our pregnancy on FB, we would have announced our loss, but only family and a few friends knew about it. I still feel weird that only some of my friends know about our loss and some don't. Sometimes I feel compelled to spill my guts and let them know everything, but I don't know what good it would do. I might get up the courage to be more "public" about it this October.

I am not sure what advice to give you, but if you are announcing this pregnancy, then you are acknowleding that your last pregnancy ended. If it were me, I guess would probably say something about it, it just seems to make it a little easier for everyone to understand, and then you won't get blindsided by statements like, "I thought you already were pregnant!".

It's a tough choice, (((hugs)))

ravenorchid · May 2011

I posted about my loss on FB on pregnancy loss awareness day, Oct. 15th. But I'd never posted about my pregnancy and haven't about my current one. I doubt I will until we actually have the baby. All my close friends know already.

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