Living with parents??

cemacmil · May 2011

Hey all,

I have been living in my parents house since I left H, filed, etc. It is ok most of the time but sometime gets a little tense. Today for instance I expressed to my parents at breakfast that I was having a hard time dealing with the whole divorce thing and just wanted them to know. The converstion took a turn towards how to let H know about my trip to L&D last night (everything is fine thankgoodness) and how I still have issues being upfront/communicating with H after feeling so suppressed for so long. My dad blew up and started yelling about how I just need to get over it, mom was yelling at dad to take it easy on me - needless to say I got upset. I finally just went downstairs (where my room is) and broke down.

I understand my dad's point on dealing with things, and I did let H know about last night, and I will be talking to my counsler about my issues this week. But any tips on how to deal with living with the folks?

okballet16 · May 2011

It's very frustrating but my parents are the same way. I let ex come over to see DD and my dad threw a fit. The second time he came to see her, they stayed in the room with us the whole time.. very awkward but there is nothing I can do, it's their house. I'm trying to move out but it looks like it will be awhile.

My mom is a big help but she does everything her way with DD which is very frustrating. She has always picked up DD everytime she even makes a peep and now DD expects to always be held and walked around and it's very tiring. I do appreciate her help but I would like to do things my way since she is my daughter.

katie_cj · May 2011

I live with my parents. It's not always easy, but hasn't been as bad as I thought it could be.

I parent Jake similarly to how I was parented, so that helps. My ex will never be welcomed into their house, which I respect.

Honestly, my parents help me out with Jake, they help me out financially tremendously, they are helping me get back on my feet by letting me live with them when I'm in school. They already do so much, that I rarely use them as an emotional crutch. They know it's been hard. I know they hate my ex. My mom and I take long walks, and I'll talk about things a little. But I use my friends to talk things through. It's just easier all around.

Jennis22 · May 2011

I live with my parents too right now. There has only been one instance where they were really harping on me about the situation and I stood up, told them I was done with the conversation since it was upsetting me, and I went upstairs. My mom came up right away. She didn't apologize because that's just not what she does but she offered to take DS and watch him for a little bit which is the closest to an "I'm sorry" she'll ever give! Sometimes you just have to let them know that what they're saying is upsetting and not helpful. Also, if your Dad is not open to hearing how you're having a hard time then just talk to your Mom about it instead. That might save a lot of trouble.

turtlesmom · May 2011

I have been living with my parents for about 2 years now, and will be living with them for about another year. The first 6 months here were very hard on all of us. I had been out on my own, had a baby, etc and didn't like having parents again. Nor did they really like having a child again, much less a baby in the house.

There was alot of fighting between the 3 of us until we all figured out what everyones expectations and boundaries were. I was still dealing with a lot of break up issues at that point and was just really stressed out, exhausted, depressed etc...time made it better. We still occasionally have issues, but I think being able to sit down and talk like adults really helps. I felt like before they were still treating me like I was a teenager and I was still treating them like the enemy.

You have to remember that the change is probably difficult for them too. Chances are, they never planned on having their grown children and grandchild back under their roof, and change is sometimes hard to accept.

Unknown · May 2011

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Enami · May 2011

I'm looking at a similar situation this fall. While my FI and are still together (and still planning on getting married next summer), we aren't going to be living together until (hopefully) Dec/Jan. Baby's due in September. He's in his last year of college, and our parents are awesome letting us stay at home until we absolutely have to move out (which will probably be Dec/Jan, and if not then, before June). But I really am not looking forward to moving back in with my parents, though I love them to death. My dad and I can get into pretty heated arguments, and both my brothers live there (one's 19, the other's 10), so it's going to be full. My plan is to really just keep to myself as much as possible and not talking to them about emotional things unless I absolutely have to. I really don't like even talking to them about the wedding, I don't want to move it up because of insurance and I would feel like white trash. Insurance is a good excuse to them, my feelings aren't. So I just try to chug along as best I can dealing with Medicaid, student loans, work, and really don't talk to anyone about it (including FI).

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