Postpartum Depression

What is wrong with me?

I've never been to the Dr. for this and I don't know how bad it is or if its even considered depression.  I think my dad had it, but we didn't know until it was to late.  Theres a story behind that, and its what may have had an effect on me, but I have no one to really talk to.

Ever since DS was born I've had a fear that something bad is going to happen to him, that I'm doing something wrong, that I'm a bad mom and he's not going to be smart or grow like he should.  This might be normal.  I can't stand it when he cries. I know its spoiling him since hes 7 months old, but I can't do it, I have to pick him up and hold him and fix whatever is wrong right away.  but then theres other times that I wish DH would just feed him or hold him and not just put him in his bumbo with his toys bc I feel like he's pushing him off but DS is happy so why do i have a problem?

I'm always worried that I am a bad wife for DH.  I try so hard  to make sure dinner is ready when he gets home.  I try to make sure I get this place cleaned, but DH knows that its more fun to take care of DS and not to worry about it.  We fight all the time and I start it bc I want him to pitch in a little more, but I know he is tired from working.  I know he loves me, but day after day I am scared that he will find someone better and prettier even though I trust him.  I'm surprised he even puts up with it.

I'm also constantly worried about money.  I want the best for DS, but I don't go out and buy the most expensive car seat, we bought the cheapest car seat that still had good safety reviews.  I feel like a cheap ass.  I haven't bought a new piece of clothing in 7 months and it was 1 pair of jeans bc I was sick of sweats after having DS.  MIL bought my maternity clothes bc she thought I needed them instead of just wearing sweatpants and tshirts.  

Idk it may all seem minor, but I just want to know if its normal. 

Re: What is wrong with me?

  • imagemommyAE2010:

    I've never been to the Dr. for this and I don't know how bad it is or if its even considered depression.  I think my dad had it, but we didn't know until it was to late.  Theres a story behind that, and its what may have had an effect on me, but I have no one to really talk to.

    Ever since DS was born I've had a fear that something bad is going to happen to him, that I'm doing something wrong, that I'm a bad mom and he's not going to be smart or grow like he should.  This might be normal.  I can't stand it when he cries. I know its spoiling him since hes 7 months old, but I can't do it, I have to pick him up and hold him and fix whatever is wrong right away.  but then theres other times that I wish DH would just feed him or hold him and not just put him in his bumbo with his toys bc I feel like he's pushing him off but DS is happy so why do i have a problem?

    I'm always worried that I am a bad wife for DH.  I try so hard  to make sure dinner is ready when he gets home.  I try to make sure I get this place cleaned, but DH knows that its more fun to take care of DS and not to worry about it.  We fight all the time and I start it bc I want him to pitch in a little more, but I know he is tired from working.  I know he loves me, but day after day I am scared that he will find someone better and prettier even though I trust him.  I'm surprised he even puts up with it.

    I'm also constantly worried about money.  I want the best for DS, but I don't go out and buy the most expensive car seat, we bought the cheapest car seat that still had good safety reviews.  I feel like a cheap ass.  I haven't bought a new piece of clothing in 7 months and it was 1 pair of jeans bc I was sick of sweats after having DS.  MIL bought my maternity clothes bc she thought I needed them instead of just wearing sweatpants and tshirts.  

    Idk it may all seem minor, but I just want to know if its normal. 

    You cannot spoil a child by holding them or loving them.

    It sounds like you are really struggling. I would talk to your Dr about PPD.

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  • I agree that you are not spoiling him.  Worrying is normal but you should talk to your doctor because it sounds like you could use some help!

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  • I would make an appointment with your doctor to discuss possible PPD or PPA and tell them exactly what's been going on.  I had a hard time with this because I was afraid my OB would think I was a bad mom because of the things I was thinking, saying and doing, but I knew that I had to be open and honest with her about everything not only for my sake, but for the sake of my family, so that I would get the proper help.

    When you go see your doctor one of two things will happen: 1) S/he will confirm that you have PPD and/or PPA and will help you find a treatment option that will get you back on track, or 2) S/he will reassure you that what you're going through is normal new-mommy stuff.  Either way it will hopefully put your mind at ease.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Oh and ditto pp - You can't spoil a 7 month old by loving on them when they cry (although some people are so set on trying to convince us new mamas that you can!)

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  • If there's something wrong with you then I have the same thing wrong with me!! I've done or thought everything you wrote in your post!

    You probably should call the doctor and see what they say. I think I might too.

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