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I guess it is time to give up.../Vent

kochmcdiartskochmcdiarts
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Some of you may remember my story, others may not. To try and make it short, DH and I got into a fight because his "best friend" is a single mother of a two year old that thinks my DH is "an amazing father figure for her son", etc. I told him I wanted him to talk to her less and put me first. He got pissed saying I was jealous that he had a friend that great or some ***.

Anyway, fast forward about a month, he is still wants to separate. I have arranged for DS and I to move in with my parents until I qualify for housing assistance because my full time job is not enough to make ends meet in any apartment good enough for my son to live in.  Any who, he is now making it out to be that I am crazy and controlling. I have Bi-polar disorder so I can be a little crazy but I do not attribute much of anything to my bi-polar. I chalk it up to being a full time student, a full time employee, and a full time mommy, that has to pick up after her DH. He has made it "his family" against "my family".

 That is the part that pisses me off the most. My aunt tried to talk to DH while he was working and he ignored her. My family does not like his behavior but they are not going to treat him like crap. DH's family on the other had has pretty much started ignoring me. They will talk only if they have to and MIL pretty much said she thinks a separation is the best idea ever.

We have been going to counseling for a while now.  There has been little progress. DH cannot decide if he wants to stay married or if he wants a divorce and the counselor is always getting after him for being an ass and being sarcastic. It is getting on my last nerve. The counselor brought up needs last time and DH just laughed when talking about love languages saying it was stupid and that he does not have one. WTF. 

How am I supposed to help make this work if he does not know what he wants? I know he is depressed but he will not admit it and he refuses to get help. 

And besides, do I even want to be with a guy that will throw our 4 years of marriage down the tube because I am "jealous he has a good friend" when that is not it at all? I just want him to spend time with me and not be texting her  (or any other friends for that matter) when I am home. I want him to pull his weight.

I just have no clue what to do. I finish moving my stuff tomorrow morning, go to another counseling session, take another final... I'll officially be moved out on Wednesday after my last final.

 

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Re: I guess it is time to give up.../Vent

  • MJ5678MJ5678

    I'm so sorry things aren't improving for your guys.  You are doing what is best for you and your DS and that's what's most important.  Good luck on your finals. 

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  • tarebear9891tarebear9891 member
    I'm going to be brutally honest with you. It sounds to me like he has already checked out of the marriage. As much as you want to you can't make someone want to be married to you. And to me him not knowing if he wants to be married to you means he is trying to keep all of his options open in case it falls through with the other girl. And why would you want that anyway? I know it must be terribly hard with everything you have on your shoulders to contemplate being a single mommy...but you deserve to be treated better and for your child to witness you happy.
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  • nopegoatnopegoat member

    Oh my goodness... I couldn't imagine having that much on my plate. You are strong woman and an awesome momma and need to do what is best for you and your handsome son! 

    Good luck on your finals and I hope everything works out for you one way or another! Sending T&P your way!!  

    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
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  • LaurelBeeLaurelBee member

    How about your H starts acting like a good father figure to HIS CHILD FIRST before he starts actling like big papa for another woman's child.  Being a good father figure means respecting his child's mother and he's not doing that.  I'm so sorry he's being such a jerk.  I hope this separation brings the best possible outcome for you and your Ds. GL mama

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  • kochmcdiartskochmcdiarts
    I am hoping he realizes that things are not that bad, that he is stressed and depressed, and that things can only get better. I don't know though, he is kind of a quitter.
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  • emilysmommy2010emilysmommy2010 member
    If it was me it would be over. I highly doubt that he is best friends with the girl. There is probably a lot more going on there. You shouldn't tolerate being treated that way because you deserve a lot better! I hope things go well for you. Hang in there.

    DD#1 is 3! And LO#2 is on his/her way! Due Feb 26th, 2014.

     

    BFP#1: EDD 5/7/2010 born on 5/20/2010. A little girl named Emily.  

    BFP#2: m/c 10/29/2012 EDD was 6/21/2012 Baby Hope was 6 weeks 3 days. 

    BFP#3: Twin B stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days. Found on 8/10/2014. EDD was 2/26/2014. Twin A is still doing great and due date is 2/26/14. 

     

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  • jlthompson19jlthompson19 member
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.  Keep moving forward as you're doing and he'll either catch up or bow out.  Focus on you and DS and it'll all work out in the long run. 
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