Name Stealing

JacquelineTyler · May 2011

I had lunch with some girlfriends on the weekend and the topic of baby names came up. One of the girls said she and her b.f had picked out baby names but refused to share them with anyone in fear of someone stealing her names.

Is this common? Are people really afraid of having someone "steal" their baby names?

I feel that if someone were to "steal" your baby name then they really aren't that great of a friend, am I wrong?

Opinions ladies, opinions!

Honeydewchestnut · May 2011

H and I aren't telling people our baby names because we don't want opinions on them, not because we're afraid people will steal our names. Unless it's an uncommon name, I guarantee that they will have other children around them named the same thing.

littlewinnie15 · May 2011

This comes up with my group of girl friends all the time. Personally, I don't have a good enough memory to remember all of my friends' baby name favorites. If I steal a name, it is certainly not on purpose.

I think claiming your stake on a name is kind of silly. Some of my friends have had baby names picked out since college.

For example, while I get it, I think it's unfair to think no one else you know can use the name "Madelyn" because it's your favorite. How do you even know you're going to have a girl? What if it was your friends favorite name too, she just didn't go around telling everyone, and she is pregnant first. (This is just an example, the 'yous' were not directed at anyone in particular.)

deroumanie · May 2011

It does happen! It happened to my mother. A few girls who delivered the same day as her actually 'borrowed' my name. That's why I am only telling family and non-pregnant friends.

HadleyS · May 2011

We have our girl name picked out, so if a friend or even family member decided to use that name, it wouldn't change our mind about wanting to use it. If we ever have a daughter, that is going to be her name no matter what. That being said, if someone "gets to it" first, we will be sure to tell them right away that we are also using that name and that we've have had it picked out for a long time.

Also, I would never be bothered if a friend or family member ever used the same name later. Rather, I think I would be flattered.

Generally, I just think that the whole name stealing thing is a really petty argument.

There was one time, though, when I felt bad for a woman. They had named the child they lost (I believe it was a late loss in pregnancy). Their friends ended up pregnant within a year or two, and used that name and apparently never even considered it until they heard it from this woman. That story does bother me.

ETA: spelling

jseaton61 · May 2011

i've never heard of keeping the name a secret because you don't want someone to "steal" it. a lot of people keep the name to themselves because they don't want opinions on their name choice..

i agree if a friend "steals" your baby name then they probably aren't that great of a friend to begin with. i can understand maybe not sharing it on facebook where you might be friends with acquaintances who might love your the name and decide to use it since you aren't close or don't run in the same circles.

DH and i plan to pretty much keep the name for this LO to ourselves until we're sure its a boy/girl. after that, people can criticize away.. it won't change our minds. we started off sharing prospective name choices with family when asked and some of the looks/comments we received were kind of harsh.. i just wanted to be like "chill, we're just in the beginning of the naming process!"

JacquelineTyler · May 2011

The thought of using a name my friends had picked out just doesn't occur to me, we have our names picked and both names chosen are grandparents names.

DH's Great Grandfather and my grandmother, are the options.

Janimal · May 2011

How can a person "own" a name, in order for it to be "stolen"?

If anyone wants to use a name we like, I'd take it as a compliment.

DD is called Delilah Ruth.

So far the boy name we like for this one is Spencer Lewis.

Go ahead and STEAL them!

jnealet · May 2011

I got accused of stealing a name when we had DD. She's named after my grandmother and DH's great-grandmother. Its not my fault that DH's great grandmother's name is the same as my cousin's paternal grandmother, I didn't even know this until we announced DD's name. I told my mom that my cousin's can name any of their future daughter's the same exact thing, it falls high on the list of things I don't have time to care about.

Now I am thinking about doing some honest name stealing if this baby is a boy. I loved my sister's choice of a boy name for her second child and since my sister has two girls and absolutly no plans to have any more children (she got her tubes tied with her second) I may just use the name. Now to convince my DH.

Honeydewchestnut · May 2011

Janimal:
How can a person "own" a name, in order for it to be "stolen"?

If anyone wants to use a name we like, I'd take it as a compliment.

DD is called Delilah Ruth.

So far the boy name we like for this one is Spencer Lewis.

Go ahead and STEAL them!

Yes

madiegirl83 · May 2011

Agreed... people don't OWN names... I think it would bother me if we announced a name to a family member and they decided to use it... just because I think that would be difficult at family gatherings to have children have the same name. We have had names picked out since our last pregnancy, we just aren't telling anyone because we don't want opinions. We will tell people including family after they are born and we are signing the birth certificate!

Kalamazaar · May 2011

I have heard of it happening, but we aren't afraid of someone stealing it so we still tell people the name we chose.

StefB28 · May 2011

My SIL (DH's sister) & I were pregnant at the same time last year (actually, we're pregnant again at the same time now)-- she was Team Green and we knew we were having a boy. After months of discussing names, we both knew each other's top choices. I had told her that Liam (William) was our first choice and that Jack (Jackson) was our second favorite. We decided to go with Liam for Baby #1 & save Jack for DS#2 if we ever had one. Both of these are family names on my side of the family-- not on DH's side (or SIL's).

The morning she ended up going into labor she called me and asked me, if she had a boy, would I mind that they used the name Jack. I was a little taken aback, because after almost 10 months of name discussions, this had never come up. I didn't really know how to respond-- of course, I'd prefer that she didn't, but it seemed silly to tell her no, when I had no clue if we'd ever have another boy.

I told her she could, but that she should keep in mind that the name was not off the table if we ever had another boy and that there might be two Jacks in the family. Several hours later, my nephew Jack was born.

Now we're pregnant again and discussing names--- DH won't even consider Jack b/c she used it, b/c he's afraid that it will look like we're copying her. This is really disappointing to me, as it's a name with sentimental value to me & it was merely a name that SIL liked the sound of... Our nephew lives halfway across the country and has a different last name, so I'm totally ok with both boys having the same name. I bring it up periodically to try to change DH's mind, but so far, no luck.

It's a popular name & I'm in no way mad at her (I told her she could do it when she asked!)-- I'm just disappointed, especially because DH loved it.

Here's hoping we end up with a girl-- we've already picked out a name, DH & I agree on it and I think my sweet SIL doesn't even like it!

ajordan83 · May 2011

My mom named her DOG Emma....now i've always liked that name but I guess I can't be using it for LO if LO is a girl because clearly I wouldn't want her to be thinking she was named after the dog!!! haha

HokieLaw · May 2011

I actually had this exact conversation with some friends this weekend. Apparently another friend of ours has threatened everyone if they use two specific names because someday she might have kids and wants to use those names. I haven't been banned from the names yet (I'm not sure if she knows I'm pregnant or not) and one of my friends jokingly told me I should email her, announce I'm pregnant and say, "By the way, I'm using either Ava or Connor as my kid's name so don't use them if you get pregnant!" (Ava and Connor are her name picks). I didn't do it but we all got a good laugh at of it.

allieatlanta · May 2011

This reminds me of that episode of Sex & the City where Charlotte loves the name Shayla and her friend that's having a baby "steals" it. Lol.

We probably won't tell anyone before we've decided on a name, not because I'm afraid of someone stealing it (I don't actually have any other friends or family members who are pregnant right now anyway), but because I don't like the whole "polling" family and friends on names. It's something we're going to decide on, and if they don't like it, too bad Stick out tongue

ClaraEarlene · May 2011

Everyone in my family knows that I've always wanted to name a girl Clara, after my grandmother. I have never staked a claim on the name or told anyone that they can't use it--that would be silly. Every time a girl is born to one of my cousins, I hold my breath and hope that they don't name her Clara. So far, so good! I'd rather not have more than one Clara in the same generation, but I don't think we'll take it off the table, even if someone else uses the name before us (which is possible, as 2 cousins are currently pregnant, one with a girl, one unknown). And if someone did use it before me, I'd never consider it stealing.

mayabeth · May 2011

My husband's brother and his wife got KU a few months before us and ended up using the baby name which we had wanted, but they beat us to the punch so to speak so there is nothing to be done. Once we know what name we want, I won't have an issue with telling people. If they like the name, oh well. Plus, no one I know is preggo or even thinking about kids so I am not concerned.

meshellyoo · May 2011

allieatlanta:
This reminds me of that episode of Sex & the City where Charlotte loves the name Shayla and her friend that's having a baby "steals" it. Lol.
We probably won't tell anyone before we've decided on a name, not because I'm afraid of someone stealing it (I don't actually have any other friends or family members who are pregnant right now anyway), but because I don't like the whole "polling" family and friends on names. It's something we're going to decide on, and if they don't like it, too bad

That's what I thought of reading this entire post.

itsmarcie22 · May 2011

My sister's SIL gave both of her children (first her son and then her daughter) my sister's chosen (and very widely shared) baby names.... the SIL swears that she "didn't remember" where she'd heard either of the names, which could be true - but still, it was a bit of a bummer for my sister.

And I guess I can see how that could happen - I mean, I don't really remember where I first heard of 90% of the names my husband and I like - to the degree that I've actually asked my closest friends and my SIL point blank if they have any baby names picked out so I DON'T steal their names, haha.

There are so many great names out there - lots and lots to choose from! I guess the whole "stealing of the baby names" thing makes me HAPPY that I'm not one of those women that have had their baby names picked out for years.

Tanderson0201 · May 2011

This happened to my cousin. She loved the name Liam, but then her brother in law got married to a girl and they had a conversation about baby names and she basically said it was HERS. So my cousin backed off. This girl wasn't even pregnant (my cousin was), but when she did have a son that was the name she used.

If a friend tells me names her and her bf pick out, even if they break up, I always remember the names. I just wouldn't use them because I think that might make them feel weird? Also, if I knew someone that I didn't like I would never use their name just because it would remind me of them.

Yeah, I'm too picky!

Blondee82 · May 2011

This whole "I don't remember where I heard it" BS drives me up the effing wall. We've been talking about TTC for almost 2 years now, and finally started TTC last September. One of my good friends asked if we'd thought about names and I threw a few out that had made it to the top of our list. She instantly snobbed one of them.

About a month later, we're at a friends place for bday party and the subject of names comes up again. Well I'll be damned if that same friend doesn't say oh I really like "xxxxx" for a girl's name. As luck would have it, she's about 6 weeks further ahead than me. It wasn't our top pick (thank goodness), but as if she didn't remember our conversation or her sour response. We are close friends, not just acquaintences. I don't buy it, plain and simple. It's since moved up to the top 10 lists so we won't be using it anyway, but again...annoyed!

littlewinnie15 · May 2011

Blondee82:
This whole "I don't remember where I heard it" BS drives me up the effing wall. We've been talking about TTC for almost 2 years now, and finally started TTC last September. One of my good friends asked if we'd thought about names and I threw a few out that had made it to the top of our list. She instantly snobbed one of them.

About a month later, we're at a friends place for bday party and the subject of names comes up again. Well I'll be damned if that same friend doesn't say oh I really like "xxxxx" for a girl's name. As luck would have it, she's about 6 weeks further ahead than me. It wasn't our top pick (thank goodness), but as if she didn't remember our conversation or her sour response. We are close friends, not just acquaintences. I don't buy it, plain and simple. It's since moved up to the top 10 lists so we won't be using it anyway, but again...annoyed!

I kind of mentioned this in my last response. I genuinely, genuinely do NOT remember even my very best friends' favorite baby names. We've all talked about them on numerous occasions, some even recently... and perhaps that makes me a horrible friend or just a bad listener, but I promise you it is possible for people to not remember.

Granted, my friends are not also pregnant, so in your case she could DEFINITELY be lying. All I'm trying to say it is possible that some people really don't focus on other peoples' baby name "dibs", so it's easy for people those people (like me) to forget.

MrsCaddyshack · May 2011

Janimal:

DD is called Delilah Ruth.

ADORABLE name!

mrsjabas · May 2011

I don't worry about anyone ever really stealing our baby names because they're pretty unique. However, I do worry about people giving their opinions or commentary on our names. It's like,

Us: "We're naming our kid ****"

Them: "Oh, I hate that name," or "I knew someone with that name and they were a total b*tch."

You know?

magel050485 · May 2011

My family always uses a family members name. My siblings and I have all loved Annabelle and agreed that the first to have a girl could have it.... but we are all pregnant and due within 6 weeks of each other.... so its definitely getting a little tense in the name department. Our boy name no one else likes so we are in luck.

jessica102706 · May 2011

I agree - I dont think a true friend would steal a name. I mean if they do its not like you arent going to find out and how uncomfortable would that be. I had a name that I loved for a boy. It was a name that I have always liked and my friend and I had talked about this before (way before we were ready to actually use the names). Well it ended up that the name I loved so much did NOT work with DH last name. It would have been very bad so it was not a name I could have ever used. My friend had a baby boy and they just couldnt decide on the name all the way up to the day the baby was born. At the hospital they were still arguing over names and I threw that name out there. My friend said she loved the name and had actually thought about the name but wasnt going to use it because it was my name! I never said she couldnt use it but she knew I loved the name and wanted to use it myself. As soon as I told her that the name wouldnt work for us and was off the table, they signed the birth certificate! True friends will be considerate if you tell them you are considering a name.

mbgreenwalt · May 2011

I hate when people keep names a secret. I just don't get it. If I had a name I really liked then I would use it regardless of whether someone I know "stold" it from me.

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