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September 2011 Moms
KatKan
member
Is your LO's name a family name? Which side?
KatKan
member
So DH and I already agreed on a name. We both really love it and have told everyone already. The first name is something we came up with and the middle name William is after his dad and grandpa. I'm feeling sad that we didnt pick something from MY side. We talked about it- and my middle name is Bradley and so is my dad's. So *I* suggested that we wait and use Bradley next since we could use it for a boy or girl, and William can only be used for a boy. Makes sense right? But I just remember when I told my dad the name, and he said, "Oh like Mike's (DH) dad! That's great!" He NEVER would even care or pressure us about any name. Nor would anyone in my family. But I just felt this jab when he said it and right now I can't shake the feeling. I feel like because LO will be the first grandchild it is somehow a bigger deal than the next one. We are already carrying on DH's last name (obv) so I'm kind of wishing we picked something on my side.
I know this is being made a bigger deal in my mind because we just found out my grandfather is dying. Changing our LO's name is not going to help anything with that. But I'm curious- how did you and your DH decide who your LO would be named after if anyone? How do you feel about it?
And just FYI- I do not want to change it at this point... just feeling some remorse.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is your LO's name a family name? Which side?
My DH is James Edward III and my DS is James Edward IV, so yes.
I had wanted to name this LO after my grandpa, but the letters that I had to work with were terrible. I know that my grandpa would prefer that I picked a name that I love, than pick a name with a B just for him. He was that kind of man. He only wanted me to be happy.
DH has a long line of male family members with the name "Willis." So that will be our son's first name, and we are trying to finalize the middle name.
If we have a second son, I will probably want to carry on my grandfather's first name as a middle name (at a minimum) since he meant so much to me and where I am at today.
My dad and brother both have the same name, and I'm not a big fan of either name, so I don't see myself wanting to name a future son after them.
Given your situation I can completely understand how you feel. Honestly, if your having another child just use it for the next. Both children are just as important and who cares if the second child has your family name. Everyone will be just as excited for the second one.
I almost ran into the same situation because we are only planning on one child... but we had a girl so it all worked out.
If we have a girl, the baby will have my middle name. My mom, grandma, great grandma, great great grandma etc etc all have the same middle name. It's not unique, but I really love the tradition.
If we have a boy, it will either be after DH or a variation of his dad's middle name.
DDs middle name is Katherine, after my late Aunt.
Baby #2 will have the middle name David or Elizabeth, both from DHs side of the family.
It works out well that we will have 2 kids, each having a name representative of each of our families. It sounds like that will eventually be the case in your family, too. I already had to warn my family that this next baby will NOT have one of our family names. Can you tell your family that you plan on using one of their names in the future?
Don't feel guilty. If you know you are going to try for a second, use that side the second time. I think that is perfectly fine!
Our son will have a first name that is not a family name. Middle name is still up for grabs. It will either be a family name or something special to us. But, we are actually looking at both sides for the middle name. In our case, our side won't care because none of them are living any more (both my grandfathers and my father have passed), so there is really no one to offend.
We're giving DS my uncles first name as his middle name. (Uncle went by his middle name but that doesnt fit with our last name)
He died at 19 in the military. I never met him at all as I wasnt born but I just figured it would be a nice gesture for my side of the family.Even though we arent the closest.
DH picked the first name (Aidan) and never showed any interest in using family names.
DD has no family correlation just a name we loved
Monsieur always wanted to name a son "Ross" after his favorite uncle (and the man who really stepped up after his dad basically left the family). While it's not a bad name, it's definitely not a name I'd want for my kid, so I gently informed him of that and said "Well, it makes a great middle name." Eventually, I presented him with William Ross (I've always loved William) and at first he was like "meh," but now he loves it.
Of course, I wanted to see how far I could push it and said "What about William Ross Michael Kenney; he can have two middle names so we have both of our favorite uncles in there" (I'm extremely close to my uncle). When he nixed it, I didn't push... it was a longshot anyway, and he'd made a big compromise by using the name he wanted as a mn.
LO is Charley after my dad and grandad who are both Charles.
If this baby was a boy he would have been Connor after DH's late mother Connie.
I think it is such an honor to people if you name your LO after them, but I don't think other's feel dishonored for not using their name. KWIM? People know that you can't honor everyone in one child's name and should be content with your choice regardless.
Make a pregnancy ticker
My oldest DS has his father's first name and my deceased grandfather's middle name, so he's not an official JR. My DD has my aunt's middle name as her middle name. My youngest DS has his father's/grandfather's middle name as his middle name.
This baby will have my middle name and initials, our boy name choice (obviously not using) has my brother's first name for the middle name which was DH decision. Even though this is DH first baby he really wasn't interested in naming baby after himself or any family member even though he is really close to his family. We definately didn't need another Thomas since DH's father, himself and his nephew are all first name of Thomas and I tried to press Joy for Alivia's middle name after his mother but he didn't like it.
All of my children have the middle initial of R. Not that I was trying this time, just worked out that way.
You guys took alot of time into picking this baby's name. There are always going to be ppl who either don't like the name or are a little disappointed but like PP stated you can use Bradley next time for either gender. Unfortunately, you're only having one so someone isn't going to get their namesake.
This is exactly what I was thinking. If there is another son, I think it would be great to use a name from your side of the family. But I don't believe this always has to be "fair and equal".
We are using my DH's name (in a form) as our son's middle name. If we were ever to have another son, we would probably try to honor both of our dads.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. I get it you feel bad, I bet your dads name WILL be used at some point, especially if you have siblings. This baby is just as much your DH's and it is yours, so it's fair.
If we have a boy, both names are coming from my DH's side (from both his parents deceased only brothers) and if it's a girl I got to Keep Victoria which my husband hates but let me keep it because I guilted him telling him the boy names are both from his side, that I should at least get a pick
But we are adding a name we both can agree on.
DS#1 is Jack Donald. I picked the first name and wasn't going to change my mind about it. "Jack" didn't sound right with my Dad's name, so we went with DH's dad's name instead. We knew if we had a boy we would use the granddads names as the middle name.
Luckly when DS#2 came around, Benjamin Oscar, we were able to use my Dad's name as the middle name! It all worked out great!
We just found out that LO on the way is a boy! So his name will be Charles (DH picked that out) and his middle name "Henry" is the english version of my Dad's middle name "Enrique" (spanish) and also DH's great-grandfathers name. : )
Happy endings all around. : )
If it's a girl, baby's first name will be a combination of our mother's first names (Melinda - moms are May and Linda).
Haven't picked a first name for a boy, but leaning toward middle name being DH's brother's name (he is much older than DH, and was DH's most significant role model growing up). Thought about trying to use my dad's first or middle names, but he has really Anglo-Saxon names that just do not sound right with our Chinese last name... still working on it, though!! All my maternal grandfather's and great grandfather's names have been used ad nauseum (my cousins have had more than 20 kids already), so I don't really feel an overwhelming need to use another name from my family.
DS1: Michael Francis - named after dh's dad and my grandfather (both deceased)
DS2: Joseph Aldo - middle names of our father's
DD: Allison Kristine - Allison has no family meaning, but we both love it, Kristine is my middle name
LO middle name will be Samuel, after my grandfather who passed away right around the time he was concieved.
Before, DH wanted the middle name to be Emil after his grandfather, but since my name is Emily I was vetoing it. He didn't like my alternative, which was basically anything that started with the same letter (Evan was my top suggestion) as that is also Jewish tradition to honor that way.
I think the way your dad reacted was right on---its an honor for whoever you choose and it doesn't mean you love/care/respect anyone else in either family any less. My dad is Randolph, and would be horrified if we tried to do anything that used any variation of that because he dislikes it so much. He was named after another relative, Rudolph. Awesome.