Say something or just suck it up? LONG
NewFamily09
member
I'm a little frustrated. DS just got over croup for the second time this year. He is not in daycare and we don't go out much during the week, except to the neighborhood park to meet 3-4 other toddlers each day. On Sundays, we put him in our church nursery. We suspect that this is where he keeps catching his illnesses. Almost every illness he gets, he gets a few days after being in the nursery. Since his first birthday, and moving into the toddler room, he's had 2 cases of croup, hand foot mouth, mono, and a handful of colds. During the flu season, we kept him out of the nursery at church and he didn't get sick once. We've started allowing him to go back a few weeks ago and now he's getting sick again. I know that I can't prove that the nursery is where he's getting it, but I do suspect it.
I actually work in the nursery myself, although not usually in the room my son is in. We try to wipe down the toys with lysol wipes between services. And I think someone takes home bobby covers and playmats to wash each week. I'm not sure if there's even anything more that can be done to make the place healthier. DH and I got a little angry yesterday at a couple at church. They were standing near us with their little boy, around the same age as ours. We heard him let out this horrible sounding cough that sounded a lot like DS's croup cough. I joked with them about how the family room is going to be crowded today (the family room is where you bring your kids when they are sick instead of taking them to the nursery). They didn't say anything, just looked at us. A few minutes later they walked into the nursery to drop off their son. I can see not knowing your kid is sick and dropping him off, but if you clearly know he's sick and taking him in there anyway seems a little thoughtless to me.
I want to write an email to the leader of the nursery and maybe give some suggestions or see if she has any suggestions for making the nursery healthier. We currently meet in a high school and the nursery is in a classroom, so maybe we can spray the nasty floor with lysol and that would help? Maybe the kids are catching germs from high schoolers. Or maybe there's a way to really encourage parents to not drop off sick kids? Or maybe we can have a room just for sick kids? But then who would want to work in that room?
What would you do? Should I just suck it up and keep letting my kid get sick? Is it just something that comes with the territory of parenting a toddler? Should I sacrifice being able to go to the service myself from now on and not put my kids in the nursery? I don't want to cause trouble, but I know my kid isn't the only one who suffers. We're always getting emails about HFM disease running through the nursery and stuff.
Re: Say something or just suck it up? LONG
I would be pretty annoyed. I mean, a little cold here & there is not that big a deal, but croup & HFM? That is something completely different. If I were you I think I would speak to the nursery leader & see if you can come up with some ideas. Really, whoever is doing the intake of the kids should be refusing to allow sick kids in, although they can't really do that if parents are not being honest about their kids' health. Maybe a blurb can be put in the newsletter reminding parents that sick kids are not allowed in the nursery & must sit in the family room with their parents? I don't know, but if something didn't help I would consider switching churches.
Mom, why are you washing my feed in the sink?!
My baby is two!!! Baby girl 9/17/09
My other baby is still a baby! Baby Boy 11-30-11
I was kinda thinking this. I took Noah to the nursary and he seemed completely fine. Nothing wrong at all. That night at 2am he woke up with croup. So he could have passed it to the other kids and I wouldnt have even known. I mean if your child is sick keep them home. But sometimes parents honestly dont know.
You can't just assume a coughing baby is sick. I wouldn't go around telling people what to do with their children. It's allergy season - lots of healthy babies are coughing and have runny noses.
I think you should be more proactive about caring for your own child. If you don't want him to be sick, stop putting him in the care of other people. Maybe you should invest in a bubble.
Honestly, your child doesn't sound like he gets much exposure to other people. So he's probably going to get sick every time he comes across something new. Babies in daycare go through this a lot sooner. Once your child starts school, he's going to be sick constantly. I think you're just going to have to suck it up and deal or stop putting him in the nursery.
Go Phils!!
I would be pissed...some posters make a good point in that they don't know their child is ill...and guess what? That's fine, put those children in the nursery. I think the OP is talking about is knowingly dropping off sick kids in the nursery...why would any parent do that? I'm all for building up a kid's immune system, but wouldn't/aren't you pissed when a coworker shows up for work sneezing/coughing/running a fever? Or do you say, "hey, it's building up my immune system, and i shouldn't complain, as i'll get to build up the rest of my family's immune system too!"
I'm not digging that logic. Especially HFM disease?! I've never had that, and I don't consider my immune system to be lacking...
Make a pregnancy ticker
I agree that if you know your LO is sick with something like HFM disease, they shouldn't be in the nursery. The problem is that not a lot of parents realize when their kids are sick. Mono, for example, is pretty hard to tell when a baby has it. My DS had it and his docs all said that it is rare for toddlers to even show symptoms of having it (my guy's was so bad that he had to be hosp). Some kids just show illnesses differently than others. We are pretty sure he got the mono from DC from another LO, whose parents prob have no idea their child had it.
Also, the general rule of most places I know, is that a child must be fever, diarrhea, throwing up free for 24 hours before re-joing the world. We follow this rule and somethimes DS is coughing up a storm (allergies) and sounds so much worse than he is, but some parents may think he is really sick. We can't skip things over a cough, runny nose, etc.
I think this is one of those things that parents of toddlers just deal with. Maybe a blurb in the bulletin reminding people that there is a place for the sick kids would be helpful, but I wouldn't go crazy about it.
Go Phils!!
I'm sorry your LO had mono...that stinks...and again, I know that some sicknesses are undetectable...but even if it's harsh allergies, OP said that they also had a family room versus the nursery..so no one is missing anything...except the parents might be more uncomfy than normal, but that's it.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I always question this "building up their immune system" thing. Personally, I would MUCH rather have Elise get sick when she's a bit older and can tell me what's wrong, than now when she's so little and I just have to guess.
That being said, I don't make her live in a bubble and we do plenty of things around other kids. But if she was continually coming home sick from the same place, I would probably have an issue with it too. HFM and croup can be pretty serious, and I wouldn't be overly eager to keep exposing LO to that - I don't think that is something you should have to "suck up." Doesn't hurt to put something in the newsletter or talk with the nursery leader to see if more can be done to keep the nursery cleaner.
I totally agree...i know that if my LO kept coming home sick from DC, there would have to be some policy changes. Again, there's a big difference between sniffles/allergies versus getting the croup a couple times and more severe illnesses.
Make a pregnancy ticker
On one hand, this goes with the territory. When I started DD1 in a baby music class her first winter, it was like clockwork -- we'd go to class, she'd be sick within 24-48 hours, and get well just in time to go to class the following week and catch something else. Her second winter was much better. It was frustrating, but you do a lot of handwashing and sanitizing and cope as best you can.
If there were repeated cases of HFM and more serious stuff, though, I would be asking them to a) establish or b) ENFORCE a sick policy for the nursery. Heck, even my gym has a posted sick policy outside their child care room, and they're strict about it. If your kid has x-y-z symptom when they come in the door, they are not allowed to stay.
Either that, or I'd be keeping DC out of the nursery and with us during services (which is what we do now -- we prefer that to using the nursery, regardless of germs). If that's not accepted at your church, I'd find a new one.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
Unfortunately, it's just as likely that he's getting sick from the other toddlers that you play with every day. Yes, the church nursery is one place where he's most likely encountering germs, but he'll also encounter them at the grocery store, the mall, the playground and, eventually, Kindergarten, lol!
My daughter is in daycare and during the cold/flu season, I think there was possibly 2 weeks where she actually went to daycare all 5 days. It was frustrating, but I know that they do their best to keep germs at a minimum and that the illnesses were par for the course with a daycare kiddo.
However, it can't hurt to remind people that sick children shouldn't be in the nursery. Heck, sick children (those who have fever and/or are clearly contagious) probably shouldn't even be in church. It's very nice of your church to have an area where families with sick children can still attend the service. I'd speak with your pastor and/or the church secretary and let her know your concerns. There can be a reminder placed in the church bulletin, the nursery workers can be trained on how to best sanitize the toys, etc.
Just remember though... the more he gets sick now, the better his immune system will be when he is school aged and missing school becomes an issue.
We always sit in back of the church (for quick escapes, if necessary) and our son sits through the service on our laps. It's only an hour, and it gives him an opportunity to see and hear what happens during mass.