If you're doing Ferber, please come in!

cupcakes710 · April 2011

I'm doing Ferberish. I didn't read his book or anything so I'm just going by what I know: loving bedtime routine, put in crib, go to soothe after 5 mins, after 7 mins, after 10 mins, never exceeding 10 mins.

My question is how much time should I spend soothing her? I sing her a song and rub her back / pat her bottom. Should I stay until she's quiet (which sometimes takes a very long time) or should it be short and sweet?

TIA for your help.

I'm on Night 13 of this Wakefulness and it still sucks! I miss sleep. [I know we all do.]

babyonthebrain2010 · April 2011

I *think* you're supposed to keep the comforting short and sweet.. not so much to calm them down entirely but to let them know you're still there. I think. I have obviously never read the book, either haha. Ferber is NOT working for us because my H and I can't seem to get on the same page and even so neither of us are being consistent. gah!!

cupcakes710 · April 2011

mands629:
I have his book, and although I've only read section one, I don't think he set a specific amount of time that you should be in there soothing.
I'll go in after 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Each time I go in, I'm literally only in there for 30 seconds to a minute. I may put her lovey by her face, replace a paci, put my hand on her belly, stroke her face, shush, or even return on her sleep sheep or FP seahorse. Sometimes I leave when she's still crying, sometimes within that short amount of time that I'm in there, she'll calm down.

I think a lovey might really help her but I'm worried about giving it to her because I'm so paranoid about SIDS... thoughts?

cupcakes710 · April 2011

babyonthebrain2010:
I *think* you're supposed to keep the comforting short and sweet.. not so much to calm them down entirely but to let them know you're still there. I think. I have obviously never read the book, either haha. Ferber is NOT working for us because my H and I can't seem to get on the same page and even so neither of us are being consistent. gah!!

My H is having a hard time getting on the same page as me. He says he hates hearing her cry. Well so do I!!! But she needs to learn how to get herself to sleep! And 5 times out of 7, I'm the one who has to deal with bedtime alone.

cupcakes710 · April 2011

Well I think she's teething. The only thing that has been calming her down is a teething ring and just now we gave her a frozen wet washcloth. Also, earlier tonight she was tugging at her ear quite a bit.

The doctor said only to give her tylenol if she's in a lot of pain as in inconsolable. I think she'd be consoled if we picked her up, but she's not being soothed by my singing or patting her like she usually is. The doctor also looked at her gums and said it would still be 'a while' before she cuts a tooth.

What should I do? If I give her tylenol so early, I'd have to give her tylenol every night, no?

I don't know if I should be sleep training if teething is the problem.

What should I do?

[And thanks for helping me with this]

cupcakes710 · April 2011

mands629:
cupcakes710:
Well I think she's teething. The only thing that has been calming her down is a teething ring and just now we gave her a frozen wet washcloth. Also, earlier tonight she was tugging at her ear quite a bit.
The doctor said only to give her tylenol if she's in a lot of pain as in inconsolable. I think she'd be consoled if we picked her up, but she's not being soothed by my singing or patting her like she usually is. The doctor also looked at her gums and said it would still be 'a while' before she cuts a tooth.
What should I do? If I give her tylenol so early, I'd have to give her tylenol every night, no?
I don't know if I should be sleep training if teething is the problem.
What should I do?
[And thanks for helping me with this]
Does she have a fever? I was told that tugging on the ear and fever could potentially be an ear infection.
If she doesn't have a fever, and you feel like she's in pain, I would give some tylenol... You don't have to give it every night. If she is teething, some days/times will be more painful than others - so use the tylenol accordingly and maybe only after the other methods that you've tried don't work. Also, have you tried teething tablets?
You have to do what you feel comfortable with when it comes to sleep training. If I had given tylenol and she didn't have a fever and she wasn't wet/dirty/hungry and wasn't making herself so upset that she was throwing up, I would probably continue to sleep train. You could always pick her up, calm her down, and then start over with Ferber after you put her down again. Remember - the first few nights are the hardest no matter what!

This is the 13th night. I'll check if she has a fever. The dr said tugging on her ear could be a sign of teething too because the nerve goes from her gums to up by her ear.

Edit - no fever.

So I probably shouldn't do tylenol? She's being consoled by this frozen wash cloth but I doubt it will help her sleep.

WWYD?

cupcakes710 · April 2011

mands629:
cupcakes710:
mands629:
cupcakes710:
Well I think she's teething. The only thing that has been calming her down is a teething ring and just now we gave her a frozen wet washcloth. Also, earlier tonight she was tugging at her ear quite a bit.
The doctor said only to give her tylenol if she's in a lot of pain as in inconsolable. I think she'd be consoled if we picked her up, but she's not being soothed by my singing or patting her like she usually is. The doctor also looked at her gums and said it would still be 'a while' before she cuts a tooth.
What should I do? If I give her tylenol so early, I'd have to give her tylenol every night, no?
I don't know if I should be sleep training if teething is the problem.
What should I do?
[And thanks for helping me with this]
Does she have a fever? I was told that tugging on the ear and fever could potentially be an ear infection.
If she doesn't have a fever, and you feel like she's in pain, I would give some tylenol... You don't have to give it every night. If she is teething, some days/times will be more painful than others - so use the tylenol accordingly and maybe only after the other methods that you've tried don't work. Also, have you tried teething tablets?
You have to do what you feel comfortable with when it comes to sleep training. If I had given tylenol and she didn't have a fever and she wasn't wet/dirty/hungry and wasn't making herself so upset that she was throwing up, I would probably continue to sleep train. You could always pick her up, calm her down, and then start over with Ferber after you put her down again. Remember - the first few nights are the hardest no matter what!
This is the 13th night. I'll check if she has a fever. The dr said tugging on her ear could be a sign of teething too because the nerve goes from her gums to up by her ear.
Edit - no fever.
So I probably shouldn't do tylenol? She's being consoled by this frozen wash cloth but I doubt it will help her sleep.
WWYD?
Well no fever is good... I may still give her tylenol, especially if you feel she's in pain.
Has she acted like this the other nights you've sleep trained?

Ummm... it's hard to say... the other nights, she has been consoled when I sing to her. Not every time, but a lot of the time, and tonight she has only quieted when I gave her a teething ring / frozen wash cloth. I think she's starting to fall asleep now. I guess I'm kind of doing Ferber + Teething relief.

In the last 2 days, I've been "topping her off" at 11pm so I could get more sleep. Is that something you do / would do?

welshgirl · May 2011

babyonthebrain2010:
I *think* you're supposed to keep the comforting short and sweet.. not so much to calm them down entirely but to let them know you're still there.

Yes - this. WE've not started yet, but with DS it was literally, 'it's okay W, night time, time to sleep, sweet dreams sweetheart' and out. It's hard!

LaLaaaa · May 2011

So, I did this last night for an hour. Every 5 min or so going in to soothe her without picking her up. Each time it became easier to soothe her until she finally fell asleep!!!! I was so happy I almost cried. I crawled into bed and she woke up 5 min later. I ran back in and stuck the paci in her mouth and she fell right back asleep. She woke up again 10 min later in full hysterics and wouldn't go back to sleep. This was at midnight and I couldn't take it anymore so I took her to bed with me Embarrassed

I just don't understand why she kept waking up!

1happygirl782 · May 2011

LaLaaaa:

So, I did this last night for an hour. Every 5 min or so going in to soothe her without picking her up. Each time it became easier to soothe her until she finally fell asleep!!!! I was so happy I almost cried. I crawled into bed and she woke up 5 min later. I ran back in and stuck the paci in her mouth and she fell right back asleep. She woke up again 10 min later in full hysterics and wouldn't go back to sleep. This was at midnight and I couldn't take it anymore so I took her to bed with me

I just don't understand why she kept waking up!

This is totally us...I get her to sleep, she sleeps for about an hour and a half and then she wakes. She goes back to sleep and then wakes up every 5 mins. I don't put her in the bed with us unless I have been doing to process for a couple hours because it gets to the point that I just need to sleep. I know it's bad but I don't plan on sleep training until June when I am out of school for the summer and take that loss of sleep.

cupcakes710 · May 2011

1happygirl782:
LaLaaaa:

So, I did this last night for an hour. Every 5 min or so going in to soothe her without picking her up. Each time it became easier to soothe her until she finally fell asleep!!!! I was so happy I almost cried. I crawled into bed and she woke up 5 min later. I ran back in and stuck the paci in her mouth and she fell right back asleep. She woke up again 10 min later in full hysterics and wouldn't go back to sleep. This was at midnight and I couldn't take it anymore so I took her to bed with me
I just don't understand why she kept waking up!
This is totally us...I get her to sleep, she sleeps for about an hour and a half and then she wakes. She goes back to sleep and then wakes up every 5 mins. I don't put her in the bed with us unless I have been doing to process for a couple hours because it gets to the point that I just need to sleep. I know it's bad but I don't plan on sleep training until June when I am out of school for the summer and take that loss of sleep.

My LO has been waking up waaaayyy too soon also! I am trying so hard not to take her into bed with me anymore... I know it's a bad habit and it's going to get harder and harder to get her away from it.

If you're doing Ferber, please come in!

Re: If you're doing Ferber, please come in!

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