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2nd Trimester
Confusion about Shower(s), and Sister Update
So, I posted last week about my sister, who had been living with DH and me for the past 8 months, storming out in a rage last weekend and going back to live with my Mom.Update: I haven't been in touch with her yet, I feel as though we both need a cool-down period. I'm not doing the "she needs to apologize first" because she's 18 and I'm 31, but everytime I think about the situation I feel upset and angry. Also, I didn't realize how uncomfortable it had become to live with her until she had left, and DH and I are enjoying the peace and quiet in our house.
Obviously, I have a lot of bad feelings about my family. My siblings have been uninvolved in my life and very quick to blame me for anything and everything, and my mother has been a hard-drinking alcoholic since i was about 12, with all the excellent parenting skills that that implies. However, since her DWI and loss of driver's license, she has been in recovery. I don't have a whole lot of faith in her, but we have been cordial.
My in-laws live about 3 hours away by car and DH and I enjoy their company much much more. My MIL is throwing me a big shower which I am sure is going to be beautiful with that side of the family and some of DH's childhood friends and their wives. We are unsure what to do about my family (and extended family) and our friends who live in NY. Before my sister's move-out, she was going to "host" a smaller shower here to involve local family and friends. (Although DH would probably have helped her with most of the planning) Now we're not sure what to do.
I would like to get together with extended family and friends ( I have a couple of aunts, cousins, etc., and friends who would be burdened by traveling 2 states away for a baby shower) but no one really close enough in my immediate family or even friends to actually host the shower. My family just wouldn't really concern themselves, except to show up (my mom has seriously called me all of 3 times since learning I was pregnant, and she lives 5 minutes away). I feel like it's tacky to throw myself a shower.
Should I just have, like a barbeque or something and make it clear that gifts are not necessary?
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Re: Confusion about Shower(s), and Sister Update
Sorry things got so bad! I hope things get worked out with your sister.
I think having a celebration barbeque is a great idea. I know you aren't supposed to through your own shower, but lots of people are having parties and inviting family and friends to a big party. There always ends up being gifts, but there is no formal opening of the presents or anything.
We would go to celebrate if friends invited us to a barbeque. We have also been invited to showers hosted by the couple, and although it is a little odd... it is no big deal when you are close friends with them. (Dh's bff and his wife come to mind. I dont know if the wife doesn't have a lot of friends in the area or not. We went, gave a gift, watched them open gifts and then the shower was over. No games, no food, no to do. We are happy to celebrate with them so, I guess it doesn't really matter.)