TTC After a Loss

cue feelings of intense hurt...

For the millionth time since the doctor told us we lost our first pregnancy in February.

AF just showed after a cycle of TTC.  I truly believed it worked and that we were on our way this month.  My heart is breaking even more than I thought possible.  

Is starting a family just neverending hurt, loss, and disappointment?  Why for us and not the other people in my life that are pregnant with no problems?  No one our age IRL has had a miscarriage.  What did I do to deserve this?  

I feel like I have had another loss and I wasn't even pregnant.  Why does it hurt so bad?  Just when I was feeling back to normal I really feel pretty similar to the day I lost the pregnancy.  Lower than low.

 

 

 

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Re: cue feelings of intense hurt...

  • ((hugs))

    My heart is as open as the sky.
    Read about it on the blog

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    2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


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  • I feel your pain, and your comments hit so close to home for me right now.  I am so sorry that you feel this way.  I truly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  I have never dreaded so much POAS and getting my period next! Prayers, love, and happy thoughts your way, for sure!  
    BFP #1- 01/16/11 Missed miscarriage 02/14 Cytotec followed by D&C 02/18 BFP #2- 07/14/11 Missed miscarriage 08/12/11 Awaiting my D&C and subsequent testing Anniversary
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  • HUGS!!!!!!!! <3
  • I'm so sorry....Big ((((Hugs)))).  For some reason AF never comes when you actually want/need her to, but she ALWAYS comes when she is not welcome!

    We are going to start TTC now this cycle for the first time since our loss and I am terrified.  I hate feeling like this....I just wish is was as easy for all of us as the FH's surrounding us!!!

    BFP #2 7/20/11 ** EDD: 3/28/12: IT'S A BOY!
    BFP #1 12/30/10 ** EDD: 9/6/11** H/B stopped at 10w 6d conf on 2/22/11 ** D&C 2/24/11.
    Congrats to my Labor Buddy LoriJ11, baby Elise born 2/24/12
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  • I'm so sorry!  ((((HUGS)))) This whole process is a nightmare and just plain not fair.
    image
    BFP#1 2/4/11 m/c 3/4/11
    ?BFP#2 6/3/11 EDD 2/14/11?

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  • I'm so sorry.  Big hugs to you - this whole process is not fair.
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

  • I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain. Cd 1 is always hard. ((hugs))
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    This time I'm not leaving without you.
  • I'm sorry sweetie. (((hugs)))

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • ((((HUGS)))).  I know how you feel!  I hate how people get pregnant at the drop of a hat but we all have to try so hard.  Some months on CD1 I would just lay in bed and sob as DH held me.  It sucks feeling like you are broken or that you are getting something you didn't deserve.  Thinking of you!!!
    TTC since June 2009 DX: PCOS October 2010
    6 medicated cycles, 2 pregnancies, 1 ectopic April 2011, Early Miscarriage August 2011
    7 more cycles, 1 IUI, No success after last pregnancy
    7/1/2012 No more fertility coverage
    8/17/2012 started pursuing domestic infant adoption!
    11/26/2012 HOME STUDY APPROVED!!!
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    When relaxing didn't work is my new blog!
  • imageAllie-Jo:
    ((((HUGS)))).  I know how you feel!  I hate how people get pregnant at the drop of a hat but we all have to try so hard.  Some months on CD1 I would just lay in bed and sob as DH held me.  It sucks feeling like you are broken or that you are getting something you didn't deserve.  Thinking of you!!!

    This is how my day has been.  I feel cheated and angry.

    image







  • Big ((hugs))
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