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Thoughts on biting at daycare?
emberlee3
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in Working Moms
DS has been bitten about 5 times in the past month, twice this week. The most recent was on his face. Apparently, there is one really aggressive kid in the class, who's been biting a lot of the other kids. The other kids have learned to cry or run away when he comes near them. But DS doesn't do anything to defend himself or avoid the situation. He is very shy, and I think he probably just freezes up.
Of course, they are working with the biter and his parents, too. I am just wondering about your experiences with biters at daycare. How you would expect it to be handled by the DCP? Any other thoughts or suggestions? Thanks!
DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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Re: Thoughts on biting at daycare?
Our daycare wouldn't let a kid keep coming that bit that many times. I would talk to them, it's their job to keep your kid safe. Obviously kids bite, but a 5-time biter is not usual.
I was in your situation about 2 years ago. The same kid bit DD 3 times in one week and 2 times the week before. He was also biting other kids.
I met with the Directors and asked what was being done. They said they were working with the student and the parents. They also put a "shadower" on that child all day, every day. This was to ensure someone was always with him, watching him in order to determine what his triggers were and to help prevent the bites. Our daycare has a policy that after so many biting incidents, the child is removed from the center.
In this instance, the child had an older sibling at home and evidently the parents let the biting at home slide. The daycare felt the parents weren't really working with the biter and so he was no longer able to attend the school.
DS is a reformed biter. When he started preschool he was biting a few times every day. They put a shadower on him to prevent it and try to determine his triggers (DS only bit when he felt threatened), talked with him about it, we talked with him at home and put him in time out when he bit at home, showed him other ways to cope with his frustrations, etc. After a month or so he stopped biting completely. Biting is a normal part of development. While it's more at the extreme end I honestly don't see it as being much different than a child who chronically hits or shoves another child.
I realize that biting is a normal part of development. This has been going on for over a month, and seems to be getting worse instead of better. To me, that is not normal and not acceptable.
Actually, is very normal for a child to bite in the toddler stage for a while, depending on the circumstances. Most children don't do it for "no reason". If it's happening how you say it's happening (and really, how do you know for sure?), it's probably a way of garnering attention. From your last post you said that the child does not have a shadow. I think the child having a shadow would probably be the best bet in preventing biting and finding out why the child is doing it. IMO your daycare is not doing enough to prevent future occurances.
That's a good point. Thanks for your perspective.
I agree with pp about biting being a normal part of development for toddlers. My son was a biter with no apparent triggers - a couple instances they saw and said the other child put their hand in his mouth and he bit. Then there were others that no one saw until after the fact. The daycare said otherwise my son was not aggressive at all. And he never bit at home so I was at a loss to know what to do about it. The daycare was supposed to be "shadowing" but it never really seemed to happen and then they gave us a 3 more bites and he's out rule. At that point we switched daycares b/c we felt they weren't supervising the kids enough if they never saw it happen. He's been at the new center over 3 weeks and has not had another instance of biting - and the new center did not seem concerned about biting in a 2 year old. They said it was normal and they had ways to manage it and luckily so far, we haven't needed anything different done.
Also, I talked with my pediatrician about it [and another pediatrician who is a friend of the family], and they both said he would keep doing it until either another child bit him back or they started putting him in time outs. Unfortunately the daycare won't do timeouts with 2 year olds. And they said otherwise it would probably continue until he is able to express emotions verbally.
It's a tough situation - I always felt horrible for the other child and his parents but I was extremely frustrated too because it wasn't something that my son was doing at home so I had no control over it. You can't really talk to a 2 year old after the fact and tell them that it is wrong.