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August 2011 Moms
Zach&Kelly
member
Natural Birth
Zach&Kelly
member
I'm planning on trying to go med free for birth, but I haven't received any positive reactions from any friends or family. I feel like everyone's trying to make me feel like I'm crazy. Is anyone else experiencing negative feedback for your birthing choice and how are you coping with it?
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Re: Natural Birth
I've learned that it's best to keep my ideas and principles to myself. Whether it's going natural or cloth diapering...I've found everyone has an opinion (mostly negative) and that I have no desire to try and sway their opinions, because honestly, they don't matter. I'm doing what I think is best for me and my baby.
As a first time mom, people will tell you you're crazy for anything you plan to do.
You want to put the kid in a crib, "You'll never be able to do that. They'll cry all night long." You plan to bedshare? "Aren't you afraid of suffocating your baby? I hope everything will be ok. You won't be able to get LO out until they are in kindergarten."
You say you plan on getting an epidural? "Don't you know that epidurals lead to c-sections? You're setting yourself up for major surgery." You want to go natural? "You just wait. You'll never make it. The pain is horrible!"
You plan to SAH? "You're just wasting your degree." You want to keep working? "Oh, your poor child having to go to daycare."
I just don't tell people anything I plan to do. It makes it much harder for them to give an opinion.
Plus, it's not my first time to the rodeo. The presence of a healthy, happy kid is enough to make people think that I might be able to handle another one.
Oh yes. At our anatomy scan the nurse said to me
Nurse: "Are you a Christian?"
Me: "Yes."
Nurse: "Well, I believe God made the people that invented those drugs so I don't think they're a bad thing."
Me: .......
Granted, I never said anything bad about having drugs, I just really want to go natural, I mean as long as we're healthy and safe, why not? We're in a hospital too.
I just let people say whatever, obviously the people with negative things to say didn't/weren't able to go natural so that's going to be their main viewpoint.
THIS!!! I plan on getting an epidural but not the second I get to the hospital and I get negative comments about that!! Blah Blah people, I dont care about your opinion...so dont give them to me!! ok vent over.
LOL.... people think I'm double crazy - we are team green and I want a drug-free birth (taking a hypnobirthing class). I guess it's normal for me, I have always danced to the beat of my own drum. I honestly think I've had more negative reaction to being team green than for the natural birth thing. I just brush it off... to each her own. I don't try to defend my choice or shove it off on anyone else, either.
LOL!! That's so ridiculous. Wonder what you would of said people create guns too, or something like that.
Yep. The day I told my co-worker I was pregnant, she practically was shouting at me that I'll want the epidural...'OMG you HAVE to get the epidural! You NEED the epidural!" Um...NO, I DONT! Thanks! I get strange looks from other people I've told about my plan to go natural, but I just let it go. I also plan to do the hypnobirthing classes; I get the side eye for that too. It's annoying, but it's my choice. Last I checked, I was a grown woman who can take care of her own body...I'm the one that has to go through with it, not them!
Mind you, these are also the same people that continuously remind me that I'm going to be huge and miserable through the summer...
My mom is super-supportive of the idea of my going natural, since she did it with me. Her exact words were "honey, I hope you end up having a labor as easy as mine was...the worst I had was when you were crowning; other than that, I was mostly just uncomfortably crampy - I was never in writhing pain." I've already put myself into the mindset that "uncomfortably crampy" is all I'm going to have to endure - pain is all in the mind. DH is also super-supportive; his thought is that it's my body, and I'm going to do with it what I want to do - he'll be there for me in whatever capacity. And honestly, that's all I really need.
Wow.
I'm a Christian too and I believe God made our bodies with the ability to handle childbirth naturally. Its your birth your choice, going one way or the other doesn't make you less of a Christian or less of a woman either.
congratulations on your choice. if you haven't already, you should check out the natural birth board, there is lots of support available there.
what you are experiencing with your family and friends is unfortunately common. I found that I just don't discuss it with that many people. I don't feel like it's my job to convert the world to natural childbirth (although I am so passionate about it that if I do get started talking, I could go on and on!) and it gets tiring to have to keep justifying yourself to others.
with family and friends, if you have to you might need to just ask them (kindly) to keep their comments to themselves because it's not the kind of positive encouragement you need. ask them to respect your decision even if they do not understand it. with others, I give as little information as possible. for example, most people are surprised when they find out I am giving birth at a hospital nearly an hour away as opposed to the one that is five minutes from my home. If they ask why I say something like, "I'd be happy to give you the long answer if you are interested, but the short answer is that this is the hospital I felt most comfortable delivering at." Most don't ask questions beyond that point, so it narrows down the number of actual conversations I end up having about the topic.
Reassure yourself and know that you are making the best possible choice for you and your lo. You can do it and good luck!
Holy smokes, Jen! This is me exactly. My mom especially complains about me being team green like I'm doing it JUST to be mean to her or something...
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Missing my little one lost at 9 weeks on 2.24.13. brokenhearted but not broken...
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PgAL and PAL always welcome...I told a CW my plans for natural, and she used it as a punchline the following week at our staff meeting... So yeah, I don't really talk about it a lot IRL.
The response I tend to get more than "oh my god worst idea EVER" is generally super defensive stuff about how much it hurts, etc etc etc. I don't know why natural childbirth seems to make epi mom's hackles raise up, but I haven't met an epi mom yet IRL that has been openly supportive/not taken my choice personally. I certainly don't judge them for being pro-intervention... Their choice, their bodies.
Same goes with mentioning that I plan to breastfeed.
WELL SAID. I'm someone who generally likes to hear as many views on things as possible before I make a decision, but I've stopped asking people. NO ONE has anything positive to say about any decision I'm making (natural birth, BF'ing, CD'ing), so I just don't want to hear it any more.
If you want to go natural, go for it!
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DS1 born 08.02.11
DS2 born 12.05.13