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2nd Trimester
mteston
member
kind of emotional..
mteston
member
Almost 2 years ago, (August) my little brother passed away. This year he would have been 21 and my due date is 3 days before his birthday. He wasn't your average 18 year old when he passed away. My mother had 2 sets of twins. My sister and I and also my little brother and his twin. My brother was born at 25 weeks and sadly, his twin didn't make it. Doctors told my mom when they released my brother from the hospital (180 days after he was born, all of which my mother never left his side) that he wouldn't make it to a year. When he did, they said 5 years. Every year they said he wouldn't make it to the next. Caleb (my little bro) was born with the most severe form of cerebral palsy. He couldn't walk or talk. He couldn't control his eye movement so he never focused on any one object. He had to be tube fed every 3 hours. His acid reflux was so bad that he ended up in ICU because they couldn't stop the bleeding in his esophagus. My brother also had a shunt in his head to keep fluid off of his brain and a pump in his stomach to administer muscle relaxer because his spasms were so bad.
My brother had many major surgeries throughout his life and I think I only saw him cry 3 times. He laughed his way right out of his stroller once when leaving a doctor's appt and had to get stitches and he kept right on laughing. I can remember one time when I was in 6th grade my dad took my sister, myself, and a friend shopping and I was so excited when we were leaving that I forgot to lock my brothers stroller and he rolled all the way down the hill in the parking lot, flipping over in the grass on the curb (thank God). I ran down there as fast as I could and he was just a laughing. My dad was pretty upset at me but I was young..
ANYWAY, my brother was the strongest person I had ever met and I often wonder what life would have been like if he had of been able to do everything that "normal" people could do. Then I thank God for giving me my brother the way he was because it makes me appreciate so much more.
My brother got hospitalized in August of 09 because he had pneumonia. The week before he passed my mom called me at work and told me that the doctors said he was in the end stages of lung disease (the way Caleb's body was shaped was kind of like an S so we knew eventually one of his lungs would collapse). They decided to take my brother off of the ventilator but they still kept him in ICU. They eventually moved my brother to a regular room so that the family could be together. The day Caleb passed we called our pastor in and he asked that God would either heal my brother or call him home and in that single moment, my brother was gone.
I can remember the day we buried my brother and going home that night getting into bed I had an anxiety attack just thinking that they covered my sweet baby brother with dirt and that he couldn't breathe under there. I had never felt this way before and I have been to many funerals losing family and friends.
I know this is long and kind of pointless but I'm so thankful for the time I got to spend with my brother and even more thankful to have a mother who gave up her full time career and 18 years of her life to do nothing but care for my baby brother. I have never really shared this with anyone and it was heavy on my heart tonight.
Sorry I wrote a novel.
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Re: kind of emotional..
"God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it" 1 Corinthians 10:13I don't usually post on here unless I strongly feel that I should; I feel like I can somewhat relate with you. 7 years ago in April, the 19th, my Grandfather passed away from a long and difficult bout of cancer. My Grandfather was my "favorite," you could say (we were very close), and losing him was very difficult for me. His birthday was April 29th. My first son, was due May 4, 2009, 5 years since my Grandfather passed away, and I went into labor on--April 29th (he was born on the 30th). You know, I actually find it healing to have something happy to celebrate around a day where I would usually be thinking in the terms of the past.
I am sorry for your loss, but I am hoping, for you, that you will find some healing and celebration in a otherwise difficult time, as I did. It has done wonders for me. This may be different where he was your little brother and all and not your Grandfather, but I hope it helps nonetheless.
I really hope this makes sense..