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Combined B-day Parties:NBR

pomrompomrom
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

I have a friend from elementary school. She has two boys and their birthdays are within days of each other. One just turned 7 and the other turned 10. Every year, she has a joint party for them and for three years the boys party was joined with her niece too.

I hate this!!! I don't know her niece really and I feel like the kids are getting cheated. I feel bad not buying a gift for her niece and I hate feeling obligated to do so. It is also crappy for the boys because I am not made of money... a present for all three kids really adds up. The first year I spent just about $50 a kid. I would never spend $150 if it was an individual party!  Now that I have another kid and I am not working, I can't afford to go all out. So what money I do have, I have to spend on two kids... not just one. (they are not having the niece this year but this is the first time in a long time they aren't adding her in too) So they aren't going to be getting the new DS game ($40 each) like last year... I just feel bad for them because a birthday party isn't something one should have to share. IMO

I have a brother that is only 14 months older than me. We went all through school together so I understand what it is like to not have things and time to yourself. I had to share my graduation party and things like that and it sucks. This will sound greedy and I am totally not! It was 10 years ago, I am not bitter about it. It just really puts people in an awkward position. We had one lady come to our open house and she pulled my mom aside and was upset. She only knew me (I babysat her kids for years) and she had never met my brother. She felt so bad giving me a gift and not my brother and she wanted to ask my mom is she was offended by that. Of course she wasn't and is was silly of Sherry to think that but it is just awkward.

I guess my point of this post is that I hate that this is a joint party every year! It is tomorrow... ugh.

What do you ladies think about joint parties? Do you think it is awkward or feel like you are cheating the kids by getting them less because there is 2 or 3 of them?

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Re: Combined B-day Parties:NBR

  • KerryHSKerryHS

    I think that if you are invited to a party for multiple people you only need to give a gift to the people that you are close to.  If that feels awkward to you than a small token gifts is all that is needed for everyone else. ( Just my opinion but $50 for a child's b-day seems REALLY generous.  My first two children get invited to roughly 15 parties each a year.  If I gave $50 gifts each time I would be spending about $1500 a year just on kids b-day parties.) 

    Hope you can have some fun tomorrow.

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  • pomrompomrom
    imageKerryHS:

    I think that if you are invited to a party for multiple people you only need to give a gift to the people that you are close to.  If that feels awkward to you than a small token gifts is all that is needed for everyone else. ( Just my opinion but $50 for a child's b-day seems REALLY generous.  My first two children get invited to roughly 15 parties each a year.  If I gave $50 gifts each time I would be spending about $1500 a year just on kids b-day parties.) 

    Hope you can have some fun tomorrow.

    Thanks... when my kids get invited to parties that are classmates or their friends, I don't spend as much. I usually do $25 for those friends. But since these kids, I have known since they were born and such good friends with their mom, I have spent more on them than other kids. But this year, I am not going all out. Things have changed. My situation is a little different this year. Besides there is usually sooooo many people there that the kids get tons of stuff anyway!

    Thanks for the idea of getting a smaller gift for her niece. I am sure that they will have her party with theirs another next year.

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  • mbfirefly98mbfirefly98

    My hubby is totally against joint bday parties!

    On the other hand here is what I have seen. My sister does joint parites because her kids are two weeks apart...in days not years! And she lives 45 mins away so she plans the party here so it's closer for us (not her). And she knows that if she had two parties two weeks apart not very many ppl would show for the second one...people are busy. It's a tough choice for her. But to the point, the kids both have thier own friends come tothe party. And those friends only buy one gift. IE erica's friend buys erica a gift not a gift for erica and one for her sister. All is well with the adults and the children. But they are good kids, they'd be happy if you just showed up to have fun with them and didn't bring a gift!

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  • ljtibbetsljtibbets
    I am also against joint parties if the birthdays are more than a month apart. I am also against parties that are combined with holidays. My daughter is born around Thanksgiving and i am bound and determined that her birthday will not be part of the holiday it will be it's own seperate special event. I don't think you should have to buy a gift for someone you don't know. I hope everything goes smoothly
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