Micro-Preemie moms - a nursery question — The Bump
Preemies

Micro-Preemie moms - a nursery question

At what point did you feel comfortable starting your nursery?

I was put on hospital bedrest at only 22w4d where I stayed until the babies came at 24w1d. I had literally JUST registered, much less started on the nursery - it's currently still our guest room. Their cribs are still in boxes, I have tupperware bins full of clothes that need to be put out, I haven't even bought a dresser... but I am TERRIFIED to do anything more. The room still looks exactly the same as it did the day I left for the hospital, it's like (in my mind at least) preparing for them now is tempting fate and something will surely go wrong... I just can't imagine setting up a nursery and then having to take it back down if the worst happens.

Ugh, someone please tell me I'm just being silly. I AM just being silly, right? It's a good thing I have until July at least Huh?

Re: Micro-Preemie moms - a nursery question

  • That's a great question.  My DD arrived at 25w2d on January 29th, and I had the nursery painted and kind of organized at the end of March in time for my baby shower.  I recall vividly that we nearly lost her during this time to NEC and a massive infection and I had horrible fear that all of our family who gathered for the shower would be here for the funeral.  That was my lowest moment.  I think I felt physically well enough and emotionally able to step away from the NICU to prepare the nursery in Mid-March.  It was kind of like transitioning from preparing for her to pass away, to preparing for our new life together at home.  Don't rush yourself, and recruit help if available!
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  • My son was about 4 weeks old when I started his nursery. My husband and I have an optimistic approach about life and didn't want to think what if. Our road in the NICU has been loooong, but luckily without major surgeries or hurdles (knocking on wood.) If for some reason, something happened that he didn't come home to his nursery, I would not have taken it apart. 

    The only thing that stinks about doing it so early is that it takes forever for them to come home. Sam is 3 months old today. THREE MONTHS. I go into his room and play with his things, run my hands along his crib rail, dust his furniture and get depressed that he's still in the hospital. There is no right answer.  

    Loss of twin A at 19 weeks 12/7/2010: Mateus, you are never forgotten


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  • I think you will know when you are ready. I had a gut feeling I was gonna go early so I had everything prepared for my DD. She came at 35 weeks and her lungs were not ready to enter this world. Which i know is a lot different that what you are going through. The morning after I was released I looked at her bassonet and lost it. I said things to God that I shouldn't have and I'm sure he put his earplugs on so he didn't have to judge me on.

    If you don't think you can handle it don't set the nursery up. You do not need any extra added stress.

  • It was a long time before I started even thinking about the nursery. A couple months after he was born probably. I think it is different for everyone. You'll get there eventually!

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  • My DS wasn't a micro preemie, he was born at 32 weeks.  Before he arrived we had only painted the nursery and completely cleared out the room.  LO arrived before I could have my shower.  Once he arrived, I asked that my shower be postponed or cancelled.  I didn't want to be at a party while he was in the hospital.  He is 16 weeks old now, and his nursery was just completed last weekend!  A few days before he was discharged, our parents started getting things that we needed to have once he was home.  We got a little travel crib to keep by the bed, a travel system (carseat, stroller thing), diapers, wipes, a changing table pad to put ontop of the dresser, some blankets and clothes, and the angel care monitor.  After he was home for about a month, then we had the shower and got the real crib, changing table, toys, and other nonessential items.  Even though his nursery is now complete, he still sleeps next to our bed - he still doesn't even use it yet.  You should try to focus on spending as much time as possible with the babies - they don't need a nursery at your house just yet.  They need kangaroo time and they need to hear your voice.  They will get stronger each day and before you know it you will be packing up their stuff from the hospital and taking them home.  Then you will miss all of the beeps and alarms from the nicu!  An important thing my husband and I learned early on in the hospital was to look at the baby first when the alarm went off to see if they really are in distress or if the sensors had fallen off of him or something.  Be strong and positive for your babies - they are extremely receptive to your emotions.  My heart goes out to you  and your new family. 
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  • I could have written your post myself only a week ago - my DD is going to be 7 weeks old on Friday and I only just decided I feel comfortable enough to PAINT the nursery.  I still dont want to start buying stuff yet but Im finally getting to the point that I'm ok with family buying her things.  Until now I've refused any gifts for her.  I've felt more "when she comes home" as opposed to "if she comes home" and I'm starting to think about having a shower etc.  It will happen for you also.  You will know when you are ready
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  • I didn't have a micro preemie but my son was born at 30 weeks and spent 2 months in the NICU. I was on hospital bed rest for a week before my son was born. About 3 weeks before going on bed rest I had this sudden urge to get his room done. I had a feeling he was going to come early (I was thinking 35-38 weeks) and I wanted his room done. Meanless to say it did not get done before he was born, in fact we ordered his furniture while I was on bed rest.

    About a month into his NICU stay, when my attitude changed from the shock and sadness to this is my new reality I got the urge to start working on his room. I wanted to do it myself. In a way it was my way to bond with my son again, as weird as that sounds. It was a little piece of the "happiness" that I should have experienced but didn't get a chance to. It was healing for me. When my boyfriend came in once it was done he suggested to move some things around. I told him no we were not moving anything anywhere, it was perfect! (Felt bad later but this was my thing to doSmile) Maybe it was that it was the only thing that I could control at the time or maybe it was a reminder that I could be happy... I am not sure but I did it when I was ready to.

    I think it is important to grieve what has happened and there will come a time where decorating the room becomes exciting and you will want to do it. 

     

     

    Mom to former 30 weeker born early to Pre-E. Now happy, health and growing at home!
  • My daughter was born 23weeks 6days in early Nov of 2005. As another poster mentioned we spent those first months in the "if she comes home" caution mind set. It wasn't really till the docs/nurses started talking in the future for her that we realized weuld maybe need to get going because her outlook was more than likely when she goes home not if she goes home. This change in outlook was about 2 weeks before hwe due date. We then started getting questions from friends about the nursery. So we had painting "helpers" and furniture setup help and the rest we did a little at a time. We never were completely finished when she came, we needed to hang things on the wall and add curtains (took us months to finish completely). As many have already mentioned you may "feel" ready to start this step when it is time.

     

    Wishing a H&H9!
    "mia"


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  • I would wait until you felt comfortable.  The week I was hospitalized with severe pre-e was the week my shower invites arrived.  My friends suggested doing even a small shower at the hospital (I was on hospital bed rest for 4 weeks) and they were respectful and understanding when I didn't want to do that because I was terrified of something happening (DD was my 6th pregnancy and only baby to come home with us).  When we knew she would be coming home is when I gave the green light to go ahead.

    Maybe you can reach out to family and friends and ask them when the time is right and you feel more comfortable if they could come over and put the cribs together and other things (baby laundry, sanitizing items, etc), it will take the stress off of you to worry about these things and I promise they will be more than happy to help you with something like this. GL! 


  • So here is my story ...

    The nursery was painted before DD was born at 28 weeks (1 lb 11 oz).  I think we might have ordered the furniture already, but it wasn't in yet (if I remember tright).  So her nursery was pretty much a shell during much of her NICU stay.  We worked on it some toward the end of her stay, but it definitely wasn't completely ready when she came home. 

    The truth of the matter was that she spent no time in there for a few months after she was home anyway.  She was in a bassinette on wheels and we slept in the living room for some time because of her feeding and my pumpkin schedules.  And then eventually we moved her bassinette to our room and I slept in my own bed with her nearby.  We had a changing station set up in the living room because it was convenient, and we had a glider out there too.  We really had no need for her nursery. 

    And no one (on the very short guest list) who visited cared about seeing it.  It was RSV season and we had very few people over.  By the time people really did start coming around she had been home several months and the nursery was done.

    I say take your time and do it when you are emotionally and physically ready.  I was convinced up until her last week in the NICU that something was going to happen ... some major set-back was going to blindside us.  I have no idea why, but that is how I felt. 

  • DD's nursury was pretty much done! I started having complications at 13 wks, but never once thought I was going to lose DD or that something would go wrong. I just kept my eye on the happy ending. DH and I are very optimistic people and knew that she would be just fine! Working on her nursery and registry from the couch kept me busy on bedrest. Once I knew we were getting close to bringing DD home, I really started preparing everything around the house. I was nesting for sure :)
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  • I had been hesitant to start a nursery while I was pregnant because my pregnancy had been so high risk and difficult. The day that I finally decided to let DH pick out paint samples was the day my water broke. He was literally at Home Depot at the time. So after that, we put the nursery off until the babies were around 6 weeks old. We finished it as a triplet nursery, and then a week or so later we lost Annaleigh and I had to re-do. And yeah, that sucked so, so much. But honestly, you never know for sure but if it makes you feel better, wait until they're closer to coming home. Once they're more stable you'll enjoy working on it even more!

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  • Our baby was born at 26w3d, and I think having a baby that early really gives you a perspective on what you NEED vs what you WANT for the nursery.  Our situation was complicated by the fact that our son was born 300 miles from home.  We had the furniture purchased and a few other things, but our nursery was mostly empty when our son was born.

    When we started thinking about "when" he'd come home vs. "if," we realized that the only thing we absolutely needed in order for him to come home was a crib sheet (we already had the crib and the mattress).  That's it.  Everything else was optional.  I think having that perspective made decorating the nursery seem a lot less important.

    I guess my thought is that it really doesn't take that long to put the nursery together, so there's no harm in waiting awhile if you want.  You can get the real essentials in just a couple of days, so there's no pressure to hurry. 

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  • I didn't have a micro preemie, but wanted to say that there isn't much that you need right away.  We didn't even set up DD's crib since we were hoping to move over the summer and didn't want to take it apart because it makes it less safe.  She slept in the cosleeper next to us. 

    We had dressers in her room and put a changing pad on top of that, clothes in the drawers.  The only other necessity was a rocker/glider.

    It's hard when you see pics of gorgeous nurseries that are done and waiting for the babies, but your LOs don't need much.  Do things when you feel ready.

    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • You are not being silly. Our twins were born at 26 weeks. We almost lost our little girl more then once and had enough scares to make any sane person crazy. The babies are now 2 1/2 months old and just now, finally to I feel "safe" getting ready for their homecoming. I waited for certain milestones to occur, such as starting to feed from a bottle and being on a nasal cannula full time before I could even imagine doing any of this.

    And it also took a lot of reminders from the nurses to change my way of thinking. One nurse told us, "Think of us as babysitters, you are leaving you children with some of the most qualified babysitters around. Once they come home you are going to be busy enough, so trust me get things done now while you still have us."

    TTC #1 since 4/2007... MFI (low motility/low Testosterone) & PCOS IVF #1 August 2010...BFP 1st sono shows TWINS!!!! Due May 23rd 2011 Ruptured @ 21 weeks (Jan 13) Delivered 26 weekers (Blake and Addison) on Valentine's Day... Keeping faith and praying, God has a plan and we just have to learn to follow. Our Blog ... ourvalentinesdaysurprise.blogspot.com Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • We started getting things ready after Andrew reached about 32 weeks gestational age.  He didn't come home until 43 weeks GA.  Wait until you are comfortable.  It'll get done.  HUGS!
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    Andrew Ryan - born at 26w2d, 2 lb 3 oz, Dec 2008 Elliott William - born at 35w4d, 7 lb 1 oz, May 2011
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