What if he gets it?
Got something from my attorney yesterday saying that DDs father is requesting total shared parenting with DD going back and forth every week. So living with us one week and living with him one week. He is out of his mind! That is not a stable life for a child. We tried that one summer and DD was a mess. She didn't know if she was coming or going and never got settled in one place long enough before she had to move on to the other. We also tried a summer of two weeks here and two weeks there and that didn't work either. She needs a stable home which she has with us. Yes, her father loves her, but he doesn't give her her ADHD medication, she stays up until at least 10pm (she's 9 years old - she needs her sleep), she doesn't eat dinner until 8:30, and he practically does her homework for her. Oh, and let's not forget his history of drug abuse.
I am scared out of my mind that he will be granted this request. I know of several people who's stepchildren are on this kind of schedule. I just can't believe that in the mind of the court this is a stable life for a child. I am willing to give him an one overnight a week plus every other weekend but I will not go down without a fight when it comes to this week here week there BS he is trying to pull. Clearly he does not have her best interest at heart. I feel like he is doing this for selfish reasons and not for her. I have petitioned the court for an increase in child support which I'm sure is a driving force behind this whole thing.
What if he wins? What if he gets the week here week there thing? What kind of life is that for DD? How is that going to effect her? I am beside myself and can't get rid of the pit that is in my stomach. I will DD later but I had to get this off my chest.
Re: What if he gets it?
"What if" is not "what is" and the two paths often end up very far apart. It is a time waster, an energy waster, and a liar. Live in 'what is'.
You will prepare your case and you will make it as best you can. And then you will make the best that you can after that from whatever decision comes.
The next time you start to say "what if" cut it off - just stop it - and change your words to "I can" or "I will". Make your worry actionable and give yourself something to do towards a positive end in the matter.
I'm not going to say it won't happen but I think if you and your attorney prepare and present your case well I think he will have a hard time getting what he wants. Espcially with his past problems and stability being the key to your argument.
Good Luck!
It sounds to me like his intention is to anger you more than it is to spend time with his daughter (and I'm sure this has already crossed your mind), because I can't see how anyone would find that to be in their child's best interest. Try to stay strong, and trust that your lawyer will help you plead your case at the next hearing.
My offer for therapy and adult beverages still stands.
This.
The "what-if's" are scary, worrisome, and stressful. And may, or may not, ever happen.
When they start to creep in, and they will, try to re-focus on what you need to do, what points you can make to the judge, what you need to discuss with your attorney, etc.
Also - if his issue (or supposed issue) is getting a more equal amount of time with her, then you should have prepared a plan that gives him greater visitation, but grants her greater stability. I don't know what the answer to that is, but I would see what you or your attorney can come up with, so you're prepared to create a compromise if necessary.
GL!
Oh wow. This is such a sucky situation. I know you and I have talked about this at length but I'll just tell you that I'm thinking about you and hoping you get a good outcome.
Like everyone else, I think consistency with occasional visits would be best for her. We have Conner every Tuesday and every other weekend and that is a perfect mixture of stays for him...and us...and probably his mom, too.
Do you think his actions have anything to do with wanting to spend more time with her or do you think it's all to get back at you?
I am so sorry you are going through this! I hope it get resolved and agree with PP. It sounds like you have a good case against him and he will not get this granted.
I will say some prayers that it gets resolved quickly and in your favor. Let me know if you need a lunch to vent!