How do you deal with the bedtime stalling?

C.squared · April 2011

DD has gotten totally out of control at bedtime and I'm wondering if we need to cut out (or shorten) her nap. She stalls so badly at bedtime and will just YELL mommy, mommy, mommy. Tonight she's yelling mommy, get me something! If I were to go to her now and ask what she needs, she'd stop and think, then tell me a toy or book (it's clear she just wants me to come back, doesn't necessarily need/want a toy). It has literally been taking her an hour or two to fall asleep (we start bath at 7:30, brush teeth, jammies, books, then bed by 8). This has been going on for weeks. DH travels a ton and I have to get up at 5 for work, so I am beyond exhausted and frustrated. We've tried ignoring her (I had to for my sanity), trying to calm her down, distracting her, etc. How do you deal with this? Think cutting back the nap would help? She still sleeps 2 - 2.5 hours at daycare (and usually does on the weekends too). TIA - I don't know what to do!

amos2006 · April 2011

my DD did this to me a few months ago too, I started cutting back on her weekend naps to be honest. We would go out, I would let her fall asleep in the car, but only would let her nap 30min to and hour. I would stop the car/radio to wake her up on her own so she wasn;t super cranky like she does when I wake her up early. Eventually she rescheduled herself to 1 hr naps at daycare, or would just skip on her own. It will eventually pass.

EastCoastBride · April 2011

How many times do you go back, what do you do each time, and if you try to ignore, how long do you give it? Tonight I went back 3 times and each time I did less and the last time I told him it was the last time. Sometimes he'll start up again but we've found that if we let him go, it takes 15 - 20 mins for him to quiet and go to sleep.

C.squared · April 2011

EastCoastBride:
How many times do you go back, what do you do each time, and if you try to ignore, how long do you give it? Tonight I went back 3 times and each time I did less and the last time I told him it was the last time. Sometimes he'll start up again but we've found that if we let him go, it takes 15 - 20 mins for him to quiet and go to sleep.

Tonight I went back twice. First time was to give her a cup of water (this is unfortunately a habit that we decided not to break), so she wasn't upset at that point yet. 2 or 3 minutes later, she started SCREAMING that she needed Cookie Monster, so I went in and gave him to her, hugged and kissed her, said good night, mommy's going to bed too and I'll see you in the morning and told her I wasn't coming back in. She then proceeded to scream for 50 minutes. She would say "mom, get me something," "mom, I want to get out of my bed", "mom, where's my tissue" "mom, I'm crying" and it just went on and on. She's finally asleep and I think she will be for the night. Maybe tomorrow night will be better - if I go in more than once or twice it will continue for hours, so I've been really trying not to do that. I need to re-read Ferber, but can't find my copy

mavs_girl07 · April 2011

DD did this awhile back and it was more about her playing the "let's delay bedtime for as long as possible" game than it was about her naps. We played the game for a couple of nights and no joke, it took hours for her to go to sleep. I want some water, I want my socks on, I want my socks off, I want my nightlight on, I want my nightlight off, I want my pink bear, I don't want my bear anymore. It went on and on for as long as we let it. We finally decided to put an end to it. So before bed we would ask her if she wanted the things she usually called us back in for- Do you want water? Socks on or off? Light on or off? Do you want your pink bear? etc. Then we'd put her to bed. After she was in bed, we would go back into her room ONE time. We'd follow whatever request she had that ONE time, and then we'd say "Ok, this is the last time I'm coming in. See you when the sun comes up" then we wouldn't go in anymore. The first night she kept calling and crying trying to get us back in there. After a few nights she finally gave up and started going to bed really easily again.

C.squared · April 2011

mavs_girl07:
DD did this awhile back and it was more about her playing the "let's delay bedtime for as long as possible" game than it was about her naps. We played the game for a couple of nights and no joke, it took hours for her to go to sleep. I want some water, I want my socks on, I want my socks off, I want my nightlight on, I want my nightlight off, I want my pink bear, I don't want my bear anymore. It went on and on for as long as we let it. We finally decided to put an end to it. So before bed we would ask her if she wanted the things she usually called us back in for- Do you want water? Socks on or off? Light on or off? Do you want your pink bear? etc. Then we'd put her to bed. After she was in bed, we would go back into her room ONE time. We'd follow whatever request she had that ONE time, and then we'd say "Ok, this is the last time I'm coming in. See you when the sun comes up" then we wouldn't go in anymore. The first night she kept calling and crying trying to get us back in there. After a few nights she finally gave up and started going to bed really easily again.

I don't mean to laugh, but this is totally the case here too. I think we're going to have to stick to our guns about going in one time. Glad to hear it gets better - I'll just have to be consistent. I also tell her see you when the sun comes up - we have the good night light, so when the sun is yellow, she'll tell me "mom come get me!" Thanks ladies for the support. Sleep issues suck, but it's helps to know I'm not alone.

melrrr · April 2011

T is definitely all about the delay tactics, and this week has been REALLY bad. We put the toddler rail on because one night I had to put the mattress on the floor because I knew she would climb out. Tonight it was 15 minutes of her standing at the door gate yelling "where's the milk, mommy? where's the milk, mommy?" I said "it's in your tummy!!" She's all happy when we're getting ready for bed, but when it's time to say goodnight the whining hits. Water downstairs, milk upstairs, on and on and on. I thought it was a late long nap, but today she took an earlier nap. At least tonight it was only 20 minutes of yelling and not two hours where I felt like jumping out of her bedroom window.

C.squared · April 2011

melrrr:
T is definitely all about the delay tactics, and this week has been REALLY bad. We put the toddler rail on because one night I had to put the mattress on the floor because I knew she would climb out. Tonight it was 15 minutes of her standing at the door gate yelling "where's the milk, mommy? where's the milk, mommy?" I said "it's in your tummy!!" She's all happy when we're getting ready for bed, but when it's time to say goodnight the whining hits. Water downstairs, milk upstairs, on and on and on. I thought it was a late long nap, but today she took an earlier nap. At least tonight it was only 20 minutes of yelling and not two hours where I felt like jumping out of her bedroom window.

That sounds rough! DD has been in her toddler bed since she was 15 months and has not once gotten out of her bed. We're actually trying to "teach" her to get out and GET whatever animal she is screaming for, but she just won't do it. I tell you this is a rough age and I'm so jealous of all of my friends who have kids who have gone to bed easily and have STTN from a young age. DD's always been such a crappy sleeper.

Tikat · April 2011

I'm lurking around- but I figured maybe I can help an exhausted mother...

DD was going through a phase like that a while back...but she was also a bear for her naps- even though she needed them. We abandoned the Nap idea, made sure she had everything she could have possibly asked for in her bed- like her bears, a sippy cup with water and we moved up her bedtime from 7.30 to 6.30pm...She has been sleeping like a Rock- not a peep!

My husband recently found a job and went back to work- everybody naps at Daycare! So she started Napping again for all (Amen)- but only for about 1 hr and she has kept with her new routine of laying in bed and closing her eyes. *crosses fingers*

azcobride · April 2011

Sounds to me like you need this book: https://moms.today.com/_news/2011/04/26/6534646-want-another-bedtime-story-sweetie-heres-one-go-the-fk-to-sleep

Please know I am just joking and I totallly feel your pain I saw this the other day and thought is was HILARIOUS! This post seemed like the perfect place to insert this book.

C.squared · April 2011

azcobride:
Sounds to me like you need this book: https://moms.today.com/_news/2011/04/26/6534646-want-another-bedtime-story-sweetie-heres-one-go-the-fk-to-sleep

Please know I am just joking and I totallly feel your pain I saw this the other day and thought is was HILARIOUS! This post seemed like the perfect place to insert this book.

I saw that the other day and added it to my wishlist. That TOTALLY describes my feelings at bedtime some nights Gotta laugh to keep from crying sometimes, right?

litzo27 · April 2011

I'm not above bribes. DS takes about 30 minutes to fall asleep (he also takes a 2.5 hour nap but bedtime is around 9). But then he started getting this annoying habit of getting out of his toddler bed and walking out of his room with his blankie. And then I'd walk him back and this was repeat and repeat. I tried different things but finally I told him if he stays in his bed he'll get a present in the morning and it has been working for weeks now! I got a bunch of tiny presents - stickers, a set of little dinosaurs which I can give him one by one, a set of colored pencils to give one by one.

Oh and i'm not cutting out his nap until he choses to - I love nap time on the weekend

How do you deal with the bedtime stalling?

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