Babyshower for 2+ baby

Darrenmommy1 · April 2011

This is my 2nd child. My 1st is a boy and he is 3. My mom is throwing me a shower ( which i told her she did not need to but she demanded since this LO is a girl) And DH's family in another state is having a small one for me there too. A co-worker told me today that she thought it was tacky that i was having a shower for my 2nd baby and that i should not be greedy?! Was I wrong to allow my mom to have another shower?

CocoBrynne · April 2011

I know some people get really huffy about this but I don't see the big deal, esp since you're having a girl this time instead of a boy. My mom's cousin threw her a small one for the birth of her daughter, I think as long as it's done on a smaller scale and isn't too over the top that it's fine.

cburitz · April 2011

I'm not a huge fan of 2nd showers but I'm okay with "sprinkles" if you are having a child of the opposite sex...

I don't think you should register for big ticket items (i.e. a crib, bouncer, highchair, etc) but there's nothing wrong with wanting cute new clothes for your LO.

It was tacky of your co-worker to tell you that it's tacky. If she has a problem with it, she shouldn't attend.

Enjoy your shower.

JennV514 · April 2011

Personally, I think they are very tacky, but if someone wants to throw one for you, I think that's very sweet. I prefer Meet the Baby parties after the first.

Don't let your co-worker make you feel bad. Enjoy yourself.

WorkingMomofTwo · April 2011

I don't think you are wrong. My mom is throwing me another baby shower purely from her heart, not my request. i even told her no at first, but she's doing it anyways. DS is two and this LO is a girl, so I don't feel as bad as I should. Plus, I have a new group of friends and the family who couldnt attend the last one (which was super small) can come to this one.

katie4253 · April 2011

I think 2nd showers are tacky. It looks like a gift grab to me.

ETA: I do always send a gift like a small gc or clothing to people who have 2nd + babies though.

ladymcp · April 2011

Let your mom throw it and don't invite that co-worker Wink

Enjoy celebrating your new baby girl, you will be really happy you did. My friends threw me a baby shower for this LO and it was the sweetest thing ever, I am glad I didn't resist letting them celebrate her!

DynamightyMom · April 2011

No. My friend has had a shower for all four of her kids. Boy, Girl, Boy, and Boy. The spacing between them 18mos, 2yrs, 3yrs.

MilMom2B · April 2011

I think it really depends on your circle of friends and family. Obviously the people that matter all think it's perfectly acceptable and offered to throw them for you. Ignore your co-worker whose business it is NOT anyway.

PS - I just read a big long "etiquette" article about this stuff the other day. One thing it said was that the modern trend is changing, and baby showers are becoming less about the gifts and more about celebrating the new baby, and thus more and more people are having them for each child. (It also said that it depends on your circle of friends/family because some people say "absolutely not" some say "absolutely yes" but the vast majority seem to say "yes with a caveat" (like how far apart the babies are, if this is the first for the husband, if this LO is a different gender, etc etc etc).

Enjoy your showers!!

clee2009 · April 2011

katie4253:

I think 2nd showers are tacky. It looks like a gift grab to me.

ETA: I do always send a gift like a small gc or clothing to people who have 2nd + babies though.

This is just my opinion but aren't all showers kind of a "gift grab"? If I am invited to a shower I feel obligated to buy a gift whether it is the first, second, or third shower.

I am not sure how I feel about 2nd showers I think small ones are great is someone offers one. I have been to a book shower and a diaper shower. I think those work great for 2nd showers. I think you are going overboard if you set up a registry.

Also that was very rude of your coworker to say such a comment. Some people really need a sensor button

katie4253 · April 2011

clee2009:
katie4253:

I think 2nd showers are tacky. It looks like a gift grab to me.

ETA: I do always send a gift like a small gc or clothing to people who have 2nd + babies though.

This is just my opinion but aren't all showers kind of a "gift grab"? If I am invited to a shower I feel obligated to buy a gift whether it is the first, second, or third shower.
I am not sure how I feel about 2nd showers I think small ones are great is someone offers one. I have been to a book shower and a diaper shower. I think those work great for 2nd showers. I think you are going overboard if you set up a registry.

Yes, they are. But, just like a wedding shower they are to help the couple or new parents to start off their lives. 2nd bridal showers aren't okay with me either.

lissiealkie · April 2011

Its not tacky at all. If someone wants to throw you a shower, let them. Your mom insisted on doing it so let her. If you were throwing a shower for yourself or if you were asking someone to do it for you that would be tacky, but still not horrible.

I've known people who had multiple children and showers for each. No one thought it was in bad taste.

Side note: Your co-worker is rude for telling you its tacky. What business is that of hers?

clee2009 · April 2011

katie4253:
clee2009:
katie4253:

I think 2nd showers are tacky. It looks like a gift grab to me.

ETA: I do always send a gift like a small gc or clothing to people who have 2nd + babies though.

This is just my opinion but aren't all showers kind of a "gift grab"? If I am invited to a shower I feel obligated to buy a gift whether it is the first, second, or third shower.
I am not sure how I feel about 2nd showers I think small ones are great is someone offers one. I have been to a book shower and a diaper shower. I think those work great for 2nd showers. I think you are going overboard if you set up a registry.

Yes, they are. But, just like a wedding shower they are to help the couple or new parents to start off their lives. 2nd bridal showers aren't okay with me either.

Good point.

BlinkingLight1 · April 2011

Darrenmommy1:
This is my 2nd child. My 1st is a boy and he is 3. My mom is throwing me a shower ( which i told her she did not need to but she demanded since this LO is a girl) And DH's family in another state is having a small one for me there too. A co-worker told me today that she thought it was tacky that i was having a shower for my 2nd baby and that i should not be greedy?! Was I wrong to allow my mom to have another shower?

Who cares what she says? She doesn't have to come. If someone offers to throw me a shower I'm not going to decline.

2nd showers seem to be more accepted in some areas of the country than others for some reason. They're pretty common here.

Gummybear · April 2011

I think they are tacky but that is because they just aren't done in my area and within my group of family/friends. But this varies widely regionally and amongst social circles. There is no correct answer.

It boils down to "know you audience" as in - your guests.

KOscar · April 2011

I'm not a fan of a second shower but I think your coworker was rude. I'd let your Mom throw the shower and just keep it small, close friends and family.

mbritto4 · April 2011

If your family is doing it and everyone invited is excited I'd say its fine.

I side eye people who do huge second showers and invite everyone who was invited to their first showers and do huge registries. My hairdresser is a Grandma and she's throwing her DIL a small sprinkle since her second child to be is a girl. She said they're just doing something small, mostly family.

MommySteph2009 · April 2011

Everyone is going to have their own opinions. I am having 2 showers thrown for me - 1 by my coworkers and 1 by my SIL. It's my second child and second boy. I feel like if they want to, then go for it, I told most people who's asked me that I don't need really anything since it's another boy and my son is 2 years old.

abergale · April 2011

I think that every circle is different. I wouldn't let what sounds like a jealous co worker ruin your fun!

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