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July 2011 Moms
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Bridesmaid vent

panucci1314panucci1314 member
in July 2011 Moms

I have posted before about this topic and tomorrow being the bachlorette party  I am freaking out again. I know my hormones are going crazy due to pregnancy but I am a very emotional person normally. I am in my BF wedding and am 28 weeks pregnant, one of the other bridesmaid has been trying to get pregnant for over a year and had one miscarriage(which she would have been pregnant at the wedding) She has made really rude comments to me, saying she hopes she can make it the wedding because my belly disgust her.  She has no clue has she is going to spend a whole day with me and have to see my belly and hopes no one ask me about my child because my pregnancy is gross and disgusting to her and makes her sick to her stomach. I have been very nice and just was civil at the shower, but she made a huge deal and in front of everyone because I couldn't stand for 2 hours while my bf was opening gifts. All this was done sober, now I know she is going to be drunk tomorrow and I just keep thinking if she is this mean to me sober, how will she be drunk? I know its all about my BF and that's the only reason I am going because my mom n DH told me I shouldn't go because its hurts my feelings every time.But I stay away from her and I don't ever make comments about being pregnant infront of her, but I am big you can tell, people want to touch my belly I can't help it and its not my fault.

Sorry so long!

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Re: Bridesmaid vent

  • Arwen31Arwen31 member
    I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Her comments are totally out of line. I think you should go and support your BF, but stay away from the rude bridesmaid. It might be tense, but I would try hard to avoid her. You have done nothing wrong and she is taking out her personal problems on you. Good luck---your friend will appreciate you being there. You deserve an extra piece of wedding cake! :):)
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  • panucci1314panucci1314 member
    Thanks a lot and I know my BF is so excited I am coming and even went to a non smoking bar so I could be apart of it. And I do stay away from her, and just say hi and bye for respect, but she willl come out of her way to make me feel uncomfortable or to say these things to me. Or she will make a huge scene right beside me over how she hates pregnant people n she would be the best mom ever and other people shouldn't have children. My BF gets upset too, but I just tell her its fine I can deal with so she is not involved n enjoys every minute of her big day and planning:)
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  • JennV514JennV514 member

    I wouldn't let that girl keep me from celebrating with my best friend. If she tries to start something, tell her to F off.

    Good Luck!

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  • kgunz11kgunz11 member
    Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you can't kick her *ss.  Seriously, she needs to shut it.
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  • clo1982clo1982 member

    it might be worthwhile to remind her that the bachelorette party isn't about her or her feelings toward those who are pregnant...it's about your friend and her upcoming marriage. then tell her to F off.

     Also, it seems that some people make rude comments and are agressive like that with people they know will not stand up to them. If your BF is not around (So it won't be like you are starting any drama) and this girl says something, channel some of those pregnancy hormones and let her know what you think of her and her comments! It might just be enough to get her to shut the he** up. If not, it isn't as if she is going to really get any worse, but it might make you feel better to not allow her to voice her ridiculous opinions unchallenged!

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  • mbritto4mbritto4 member
    I'd probably just ask her point blank what the f@ck her problem is. That's uncalled for.
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  • brittneymjohnson87brittneymjohnson87

    Use those hormones for good use, tell her to shove her drama.

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  • beekernbabybeekernbaby
    She needs a come to Jesus moment....You do not have to put up with her talking to you this way.  I would be horrified to think that one of my bridesmaids had treated another in this fashion.  I am sorry that she had a miscarriage but that is no excuse for such awful behavior.  I would consider talking to the bride.
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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member
    I agree with PP.  The first time she makes a comment about how your pregnancy disgusts her, I'd tell her that her attitude disgusts you.  Tell her to save the drama for her mama, that this day is about your BF, and if she can't deal, maybe she should go.
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  • lissiealkielissiealkie

    She's obviously not over her MC and taking it out on you.  She is going through a very difficult time right now and probably needs to talk to someone about this.  She probably isn't getting all her emotions out.  There is still no excuse for her comments.  Its not your fault she miscarried.  Also, you can't plan your life around someone else's miscarriage.  She needs to know that her comments are making you very uncomfortable and probably making anyone else within earshot uncomfortable as well.  She also needs to know that this isn't about her, its about the bride and she needs to suck it up for a few hours and not cause a scene and ruin it for everyone else.  It might not be a good idea for you to tell her this directly, so if there is a mutual friend (probably better not to go with the bride as she's dealing with a lot, too) ask them to talk to her and let her get some things off her chest, and also explain to her about how she's making you feel.  Its important though that whoever talks to her doesn't make her feel too badly about this, because that could be make her resent you more.  Hopefully things work out for you.  If things start to go badly, just go home.  Use the pregnancy as an excuse.  Your BF will understand. 

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  • Five_letterFive_letter

    See...you all are much bigger women than me. If someone was that outright mean to me, I'd throw her miscarriage in her face.

    I'm just heartless and evil like that.

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