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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
1220winterbride
member
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
*:* Morning Confessions *:*
1220winterbride
member
come on in, Ladies. Let it out. What is on your mind today?
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: *:* Morning Confessions *:*
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Endometriosis, s/p lap 2009
Behcet's disease, s/p partial vulvectomy 2010
Started bromocriptine to lower prolactin level 2010
Clear HSG 11/2010
DH morphology = 4, rest of SA looked good 01/2011
02/2011 First Clomid 50mg cycle
BFP 03/02/2011
No heartbeat at 10w5d 04/18/2011; D&C 04/23/2011
07/2011 Second Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
08/2011 Third Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
10/2011 First Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
11/2011 Second Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
12/2011 Third Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFFN
01/2012 Fourth Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = ?
I'll go. I, too, am in the "anger" stage of my grief. Well, really mine changes quite frequently, but at this moment in time I just hate the world. DH has a very good friend from his Army days who was a groomsman in our wedding and who I happen to like very much (under normal circumstances, anyway). When I announced that I was pregnant, he told us that his girlfriend (who I also happen to like) was also pregnant, a few weeks ahead of me. They weren't trying and obviously aren't married. So, on top of having to constantly see her updates via Facebook, about the baby, they are now engaged. Not so sure why I care being as I'm already married, but seeing her post the ring last night was like another knife through my heart. The only thing that makes me feel better is that I didn't have to get KUed to be proposed to. I feel like a HUGE jerk for even thinking that! AND her ring is pretty much identical to mine. UGH.
Me too. I don't feel resentful about it (not yet or currently, anyway) but I'm just so nervous that it's going to be another heart wrenching day for me. I asked my husband yesterday, "Am I a mother for Mother's day this year?"
He said "Of course you are."
I'm secretly hoping that he does something to acknowledge the day, although I know my husband isn't very sentimental like that. A little flower would be nice, something small.
BFP 2.19.11 - Missed miscarriage, April 2011
This.
Oh my goodness, this. I work at a department store part time for extra cash, and they are gearing up for mother's day. It is like I am constantly bombarded. And I have no one to celebrate with this year. I lost the two things I could celebrate with in the matter of a month: my mom and my baby. Like...I'm not going to be a mother anymore , and I don't have a mother anymore. My brother and I are just going to drive to my mother's grave on the actual mother's day Sunday. I can't imagine not sobbing all day.
I get this. I lost a surprise baby, and I get your feelings. They are totally acceptable feelings to have, I know I have had such a wide range of feelings since my miscarriage, and you can be angry. I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your honesty, and I am so glad you posted here, even though it might have upset some people. I was a little taken a back at first, because my baby was not planned, but if that is where your grief is taking you then let it, and I realized you were in no way attacking people in my situation, but letting your grief manifest. I'm happy that we have this place where we can share feelings we are maybe too afraid to say out loud in our real lives.
There's my confession!
I am dreading Mothers Day as well - it was the day we were going to share the news with our families. My birthday is a few days after Mothers Day, so I know it will be an emotionally draining week.
I feel like I am less fragile when the topic of pregnancy/babies come up, but I also feel that it gets bottled up and then I cry at the most random moments...
BFP: March 22, 2011 M/C: April 8, 2011 @ 7 weeks
BFP: June 29, 2011!!! Crossing my fingers for a sticky baby
LO Born early March 2012 We are so blessed
I'm sorry my mouring PISSES you off.
Well right back atcha.
I'm not going to flame, but I really can't stop thinking about this. Here is what has been in my head and I just wanted to share to maybe put it in perspective. I was a surprise. My parents had a 14, 13, and 9 year old and used natural family planning. My mom was on antibiotics and miscalculated and ended up with me. If I would die tomorrow, is my mom not supposed to mourn me? Is my dad not supposed to be sad? Because they didn't want me?
I understand that you have these feelings and I'm glad you are getting them out, but I hope that it was just anger talking and not how you really feel.
Penelope, thank you for understanding the point I was trying to make and thank you for having such a gracious understanding of the grieving process. I appreciate your words of support. I too am glad that this forum exists...I have found it to be very helpful and I'm glad you have as well. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Endometriosis, s/p lap 2009
Behcet's disease, s/p partial vulvectomy 2010
Started bromocriptine to lower prolactin level 2010
Clear HSG 11/2010
DH morphology = 4, rest of SA looked good 01/2011
02/2011 First Clomid 50mg cycle
BFP 03/02/2011
No heartbeat at 10w5d 04/18/2011; D&C 04/23/2011
07/2011 Second Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
08/2011 Third Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
10/2011 First Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
11/2011 Second Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
12/2011 Third Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFFN
01/2012 Fourth Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = ?