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Preemie PTSD and other ?'s...

olliehoopsolliehoops member
in Preemies

Hey all.  DD is 4 months, 2 adjusted.  She was born 32w1d due to severe pre-e.  Two days after her birth my parents and brother came to the NICU to see her, even though we told family we needed time as we were so scared and not sure what would happen or what to expect.  They came and caused a HUGE scene in the lobby of the NICU because they werent allowed in to see DD when we werent there and we were still sleeping in my room at the time, they didn't even call.  I guess my step-mom was yelling at a nurse demanding they be let in?! Crazy, I know! 

Anyways, DH and I went through the whole NICU time by ourselves (his parents made us dinner everynight and took care of our dogs) but we didnt really open up to anyone about what we went through.  My dad actually called a few days after they left the NICU and said I "didn't give a *** about her (her being my DD)" which sent me into hysterical tears.  Anyways, I keep having nightmares a few times a week about DD's birth and cry everytime I see shows about preemies or the NICU. 

 I really really want to get better but I am starting to think I have PTSD?  I am afraid to let my mom hold DD, not too crazy about people being around her yet and she has only left the house for dr visits.  DH wants more kids but I am so terrified to go through the same thing again, I just don't think I can do it.  Anyone else going through this? Sorry for all the info/rambling, I don't really have anyone to talk to.  Thanks ladies!  =)

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Re: Preemie PTSD and other ?'s...

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    lemen99lemen99 member
    I haven't gone through this but I would encourage you to talk to your doctor!  I don't think you should have to hold all of this in. (((hugs)))
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    cme79cme79
    I agree with PP that you should talk to your doctor to make sure there aren't any underlying issues you need to take care of (PTSD, PPD, etc).  I can however, totally relate to feeling overprotective of my DS and we didn't take him out for a while and only let people visit if they weren't sick.  And I think it's normal to worry about future pregnancies.  No one can prepare you for being a preemie parent.  And while I know I would like more children, I would rather adopt than go through the whole NICU experience again.  It's a very difficult journey. 
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    alamo10alamo10

    I also feel this way. I get so nervous thinking about my next baby because I also had pre-e and I'm scared they'll have to take my next baby out sooner than they did with DD. And I get sad watching tv shows with women bonding with their newborn babies, it makes me cry. But it does get better. As PP said talk to your Dr about some meds maybe. I've been on them since DD was 3 weeks old and they really help.

    Hope you feel better.

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    luvdv8luvdv8 member

    I just replied to the post below about PTSD. But I wanted to add that there is hope for your following pregnancies. You and your drs will be more vigilant and that will help your chances of carrying to term. I can't tell you the fear I had the entire pregnancy with DD2 only to deliver her 2 days before her due date (I felt like I was pregnant forever!!!). Give yourself some time to get over everything you've been through before you even begin to process the pros and cons of trying for baby #2.

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    Cara03Cara03 member
    I'm kind of late in commenting but wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I was diagnosed with PTSD several months after our birth experience/NICU stay. I started by going to a counselor and then also talked to my doctor about it and do have some meds to help treat. The counseling has been the absolute best thing for me right now. I've worked through the traumas and have reprocessed them in my brain. I still have all the memories but the horrible, knock me off my feet, kind of fear, trepidation, remembering, anxiety, that is almost totally gone. My only regret is not seeking help sooner. PM me if you'd like to talk more.
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