July 2011 Moms

Shower Drama (really long and whiney)

I am really grateful that anyone wants to throw a shower. I really am.  No one has to buy me anything, but if they do, I don't care if it's from my registry or not. That said, one of the 5 hostesses of my 2nd shower (in DH's home town) asked what big things I am not getting at my shower this weekend so that she and the other hostesses can go in on one gift, and DH's aunt can get another. She asked me this 2 weeks ago, and I pointed her to my registry.  She also asked DH a few times, and he told her the same thing.  DH's aunt also called me and said "I know you are registered, but can you tell me what you REALLY need?" So I told her, nicely, that everything we still need is listed on the registry. I also gave her a general list of what we don't have. 

How would I know what anyone is going to get us at the shower that hasn't happened yet?? I feel like they are not understanding the point in a registry, as it gives them all of the info that they are asking for from me. They want me to call them as soon as the shower is over on Sat. b/c they are going shopping that afternoon at the store where I am registered.... I really don't get why they can't print out the registry and get an employee to help them, rather than try to have me explain the specific items we still need over the phone while they are in the store. I don't feel comfortable picking out a gift for either of them to buy b/c I don't know what they want to spend. I have a wide range of stuff on my registry, so it's not like they are asking b/c everything I picked is $$. Maybe they just expected me to say I need a car seat and let them pick the one they want to get....

I'm also perplexed by the 5 hostesses for the 2nd shower. There are a total of 10 people invited, including me and the hostesses.  MIL tried to pull a guilt trip with DH because he asked why there were so many, and she said "well these things are USUALLY a big deal" and was obviously disappointed that the whole town wouldn't be there. She is an AW and the shower is really more for her. I don't really know any of these people, It was hard for me to come up with a guest list of 10. I'm also 99% sure MIL didn't let anyone know that I'm on a gluten free diet, so who knows if I'll even get to eat.  I can't bring it up, or it's me being a pain in the a$$.  I know MIL well enough to just keep my mouth shut or hear about what a whiney baby I was about the food for years to come. It's not like I'm on this crappy diet by choice.....I can't wait to hear the comments when I have to decline the cake. 

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Re: Shower Drama (really long and whiney)

  • Your puppy is so cute!  Tell them what you told us...that you don't know what they plan to spend etc...and that you really need all the items on the registry list.  Tell them you couldn't be disappointed with any of their choices, but that if their plan is to go together and get a larger items then maybe they could help you with your carseat, or highchair or bedding set. 

    These are all higher dollar items but not too expensive (like perhaps a crib - I don't know what you have on your list) and they likely would be fine coming up with the funds.  Maybe give them 3 ideas that span a price range.  It's appropriate and ok because they are the ones who asked. 

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  • I had a few people like that...who, for some reason, needed me to tell them what I really wanted.  I did what you did, but if they persisted I would say "well I don't know your price range but we want this stroller, this highchair, this carseat, this set of bottles, etc"  The good news is that you can always return/exchange it Smile
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  • Just trying to guess at what their reasoning could possibly be...  Maybe they want to get you something like a breastpump or nursing pads or diapers or similar that people sometimes don't put on a registry but that you do need?  (Note:  I'm not judging anyone who puts this stuff on a registry; just saying some people don't.) 

    That's ridiculous about the gluten free diet being regarded as you being difficult.  Can you tell them that it's doctor's orders and blame it on him/her? 

    DD Born July 2011
    TTC#2 for 4 years: multiple rounds of IVF, M/Cs, lots of tears.  Cautiously optimistic about #2 EDD 12/29/18
  • That all sounds super annoying. If it were me, I'd just stop taking their calls, and go to my shower and enjoy myself.
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  • They may not know how a registry works.  My MIL doesn't.  For my wedding she kept driving around town pricing out items and bought many things from the registry at a different store to save $5.  Then she would call me to tell me to take it off.  She also doesn't know how to shop online...I had to buy my husband's Christmas gift from her one year because she "couldn't figure it out".  This is a woman with a masters degree.  Maybe try to explain that anything purchased from the registry will be noted when they print it out at the store.
    www.minegoes2-11.blogspot.com


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