IVF and ethics — The Bump
Secondary IF

IVF and ethics

I don't even know if ethics is the right word....

So we're going to do ivf and we're Catholic, but as my husband says there are a lot of things we've done tht the church doesn't approve of........

When I was pregnant with my DS, we only did minimal pre-natal testing.  We didn't check fo stuff like Down's because we knew we would never terminate.  Our doctor is suggesting what seems to me to be an extremely radical version of ivf.  Not only are they going to pick the sperm and track the growth, he wants to do genetic testing on the embryos and not transfer any with potential health issues.  The doctor thinks are multiple losses are beyond my thyroid disease and clotting issue.  Dh has a relatively low number of normal, well shaped sperm and he thinks that's part of the issue....

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.  I don't know why.  I don't know that I'm against it, it just seems so extreme and unnatural.  I think everything about this process is unnatural at this point.  I never thought we'd come this far without a baby or be willing to go to this extreme to try and get one. 

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m/c July 2007
Patrick born August 2008
TTC #2 since March 2009
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diagnosed with thyroid disease, clotting disorder
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Re: IVF and ethics

  • I went through this same dilemma earlier this week ( well Sort of). But I understand what you are thinking. I over stimmed this cycle and was given 24 hrs to decide if we wanted to convert to ivf or cancel. We have never been told Up to this point that we would need ivf for #2 so our minds were no where near ivf. We stayed up a long time discussing it. We are catholic as well and we couldn't shake the feeling that ivf for us right now is not the right decision. There is something that we are just both not comfortable With and therefore we decided to cancel the cycle this month and not proceed with IVf. I think when going through this process you have to listen to the whisper in your ear and trust your gut instinct. You will know what decision is right for you.
    Me 32 anovulation, all labs ok, DH 35 perfect
    2008 first RE appt, Rx Provera to start medicated cycle, surprise BFP!
    6/09 Beautiful, healthy DD born by csection!
    6/10 start TTC #2
    12/10 onto RE d/t no ovulation
    1/11 first cycle on Femera/TI poor response= BFN
    2/11 cysts- BCP
    3/11 Menopur/ IUI #1, one mature follicle= BFN
    early 4/11 cysts, more BCP
    4/11 Menopur overstim on CD12 10 follicles, cycle canceled
    Forced break for at least 6 weeks
  • We do not have religious issues, but my DH is a scientist and had many ethical issues of his own with this process.  We were not going to freeze, but then decided to after we saw what the process was like for me.  We now have a frozen baby and although I feel done with numbers 2 and 3 that I am carrying, my DH wants to give the frozen baby a chance. 

    We also had to do ICSI.  He had an issue with that too.  I will admit for us the whole process felt unnatural, so the ICSI seemed minor to me. 

    We have had to talk through many ethical issues through the process.  I hated having to do IVF for another baby since it felt so unnatural, but I am obviously glad we did it and had the opportunity given the current outcome.  I would just start to have very open discussions before the process starts.  Give it a little time to sink in, see how it feels, and make your decisions on your gut instinct.  The doctor can only suggest a course of treatment.  You need to feel good about the decision and need to be able to move forward with no regrets! 

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  • We have a similar issue.  We are Catholic and my DH is very "by the rules".  I am not so much.  My DH will not even agree to IUI because it is taking "the act" out of the process.  I would do IUI, but I can understand the issues with IVF.  However, I think I could even be convinced to do IVF due to my huge desire for a second child.  Of course, I will never get to do that because of DH's views, but this process is his too so I have to respect his views and feelings.  I think in the end you and your husband have to decide what is right for you.  There are so many challenges that we face in this journey, there is so much thought and emotion that goes into everything involved with 2IF.  I hope that you feel good with whatever decision you make.
    Me: 33 No known issues
    DH: 32 Varicocele
    DD: Born April 1, 2008
    Trying to conceive #2 since March 2010
    DH varicocele surgery 3/28/2011
    June 2011 SA 28 total sperm, yikes!
    August 2011 SA 5mil/ml, 30% progressive motility, 8% morph
    Moving on to adoption 8/2011
    Surprise BFP 1/4/12!!! EDD 9/11/12
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