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March 2011 Moms
nicolenjoli
member
Share your meltdown....heres mine
nicolenjoli
member
I just had one- Ive had a couple- usually when DS wont stop crying and I am super tired and frustrated. He had a long night last night and then this morning he started to cry again- when I was getting up to take him out of bed I spilled my pump and milk came out - you know its precious) I had to cry it out a bit- why are you crying???? whats wrong??? do you ask the same questions? Hope this day gets better from here.
p.s. my husband isn't much help even though he thinks he's super dad- he has no idea!! Im thinking of letting him do a whole night all by himself- just so he can see what I go through- he sleeps on the couch alot... How are your husbands? He acts like taking the baby for 1 hour deserves an award- or holding him while I get the bottle at 4 a.m. is a big deal- holding the baby acting like hes half asleep! I told him youve gotta be kidding me! you dont know what no sleep feels like!
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Re: Share your meltdown....heres mine
I just had to call my husband at work to have a melt down. DS is going through his 3-4 week growth spurt so he ate every hour yesterday and every two hours last night. Needless to say I'm rather exhausted. Well my mother has made no effort what so ever to see LO. We bought a house two miles down the road from them in 2008 so we were close and when I was almost 5 months pregnant they moved an hour away.
Today my mother and her staff were going to the house they have locally to work on getting it staged for sale and she asked me to bring DS over. It's raining but I figured she has only seen him once since we got out of the hospital I'd drive down the street so she could see him. She held him for all of 3 minutes and passed him off to one of her staff members. I got him back a little bit later and after sitting alone with DS for 20 minutes I decided to just leave. I mentioned to my mom that since she was so busy we're leaving and will maybe see her next weekend. She got upset that I was frustrated at bringing him out in the rain to visit for less than 5 minutes.
My MIL and I are like gasoline and fire but since DS was born she's become incredible nice. She drives the hour to come visit atleast once a week. She's even nice to DH. It weirds us out because before she was so mean to both of us but she's trying really hard to have a relationship with DS. My mother on the other hand has turned into one big flake. She always complains that she's too busy to come see us and she's so tired and... it's frustrating. She's been begging me for over a week to let him come stay the night at her house which itself is frustrating. He's not even a month old and you want him to come stay with you for a day? You can't drive out to visit but you want me to let you take him?
I'm just tired and frustrated...
To answer your question regarding husband help - he doesn't help much unless I ask. He'll hold him if he's showered and not busy while I shower or cook dinner. He sleeps through the night and doesn't stir unless I wake him. He will bring him to me when he gets up for work but that's all he does from 8pm until 5am.
as for DH helping, I've started getting a bottle ready for when he comes home so he can feed her and I can make dinner. It gives him some bonding time and I love to cook so I get a break too. On the weekends, I have him do the 3 am feeding and he always gets so frustrated. I'm always like "yes, it's normal that she fusses/falls asleep/pees all over when changing/won't sleep/etc. It's good for him to experience it too and I enjoy the break in responsibility.
Yesterday and last night she was pretty fussy. Every time I put her down she would start screaming. I would try nursing her but she wouldn't latch. I got so frustrated that when he came home I just handed her to DH and left.
She did the same after her 3 am feeding. DH got her to calm down both times but the most frustrating thing was that whenever she cries he automatically asks me when she last ate and if I've tried feeding her. REALLY?? You mean she's supposed to eat more than once a day???? The times he was able to go get her to eat he acted kinda smug about it.
OP, I could have written your post.
DS cries constantly and I had a breakdown this morning and just started crying as well. We went to the Dr yesterday and she thinks it's reflux and we started him on Zantec. I'm hoping that helps because I feel like I'm losing my mind.
DH tries to help but I feel like he doesn't have any patience so when the crying starts he get's frustrated and I just end up taking DS from him. He works and I stay home so he gets up once at night, changes a diaper before I BF and then moves to the other room for the remainder of the night. He has no idea what it's really like.
yes i feel like this too. as i type (and pump) he is holding her and she is going bananas. he has been home for less than a half hour and not only is he frustrated, but i feel like he just doesn't try different things to get her to calm down. it's like she'll be wailing while he holds her in the same position and zones out at the tv. i get so anxious but have to force myself not to take her from him because he won't learn that way it'll just start a downward spiral with us. yes, they don't know what no sleep feels like!! the other night she wouldn't go down after breastfeeding and he (finally) woke up and asked, "is she hungry?"
um...i just fed her for a half hour and have been trying to get her to sleep for the last 20 minutes. thanks for joining the program.
Definitely have husband take a whole night...but be prepared to answer questions or get "he just needs a little nursing to fall asleep" UGH!
Advise I learned from experienced mommies (1) you can never babysit your own child (2) make announcements, not ask permission (I am going for a shower, not "Do you mind if I go for a shower"...it doesn't do all that much but it makes me feel like I am not at DH mercy to say no)
Good luck....sleepless nights do not last forever (it only feels that way)
Good to know I'm not alone! I've had a couple of meltdowns around 5 am when she's been up for 2 hours and I can't get her back to sleep and DH has already left for work.
My DH is actually a great help, but right now he's at work all day and I'm on maternity leave. It is hard to take care of the baby all day by yourself, I'll say that!
I mainly lurk on here but I had to respond to this post... I'm feeling a little frustrated at my DH today and would rather vent it anonymously to this board than talk about him to my family/friends.
Our DS is 7 weeks old. We had 5 beautiful and easy weeks of BFing, until I developed a plugged duct. My midwife recommended I change from a cradle hold to a football hold so DS could drain that duct more easily. I don't think this was helpful for us. It was difficult to see my son's latch from that vantage point, and after almost two weeks of the football hold, nursing has become incredibly painful and one of my nipples started bleeding yesterday. I suspect my DS picked up some bad habits where I couldn't see his latch well enough to correct him. (I spoke to a lactation consultant today and I think we are back on the right track.)
Last night, I pumped about 8 oz of milk around 1 a.m. so I could give my nipples a break. DH was still awake and watching TV (he works pretty late hours most of the time), so I asked him before I went to sleep if he would feed DS next time he woke, since I wanted to give my sore nipples a rest. He agreed and we both went to sleep.
Well, DS woke at 2:30 and DH didn't get up. I got the baby and the bottle and brought both to DH, who proceeded to act like he was half asleep for about ten minutes (kept pretending he didn't understand what I was saying, etc.), so I got frustrated and attempted to BF (from the less-painful side). After about half an hour of excruciating attempts at BFing (no exaggeration, I was crying and praying for the pain to stop), I again brought my son to DH and asked him to give him part of the bottle.
He fed the baby for about 5 minutes (I was still awake, popping Ibuprofen and applying ice packs to my breasts), then said he had to go to the bathroom. He put the baby in his PNP (because my chest was so sensitive I couldn't even hold DS), then came back from the bathroom and got into bed. He said, "I think I'll let him fuss a little until he goes back to sleep." I was like, "Are you crazy? He's STILL HUNGRY! You only fed him for 5 minutes!"
I was so pissed I got out of bed and gave the baby the bottle myself. This really goes against what I've been advised... I've been told to let babysitters and daddy give DS the bottle, but to only offer him the breast so he doesn't start expecting a bottle from me. Of course, DH was awake by this time and kept saying "I'm awake, I'll give him the bottle, I don't know why you're so upset." I told him, "This would have been resolved over an hour ago if you had just fed the baby when I asked you to do it!"
So, he gets up and moves to the couch. Super helpful, right? I suppose by relocating to the farthest spot in the house, he is hoping to be more accessible for the next feeding? Needless to say, he didn't hear when DS woke at 6:30 but came in around 8, after I'd managed to nurse from one side with only moderate pain. He watched DS for about 3 hours so I could sleep, so I shouldn't still be pissed. But sometimes I feel like he thinks he does SO MUCH and he has no idea. He usually sleeps through the 1 a.m.-ish and the 4 a.m.-ish feeding, so he typically gets a pretty good stretch of sleep while I'm watching infomercials just to stay awake.
OK, vent over. I congratulate you if you got this far.