TTC during pre-deployment work up

HawaiiMarineWife · April 2011

DH and I have been ttc for 9 months now and I am just now starting with a fertility specialist. I'm excited that I have the help of the specialist but it is coming when DH is starting his pre-deployment work up. He is going to be gone a lot and I'm worried that it is going to interfere with our timing and I don't want to go through all these treatments unless we are going to have a decent chance. It seems pointless to take clomid to help me ovulate if DH isn't going to be around to bd with. Has anyone else been through this? WWYD?

tlalli7106 · April 2011

DH and I went through this, he is leaving the beginning of next month. We decided for the last month or two we would stop "trying", meaning that I would stop temping, we would stop trying to plan everything and just enjoy each other before he leaves. If it happened and we ended up pregnant, then that was fine with us but we weren't going to stress over the details. We will pick back up where we left off when he gets home...

leslie13510 · April 2011

We did IUI while he was deployed because of the timing of diagnosis and surgery and everything. I can't tell you what to do with your situation, but I would highly suggest NOT taking Clomid unless you're as sure as you can be that he'll be around during your ovulation window. Most RE's have a lifetime limit of how many cycles of Clomid they'll allow you to take (my RE didn't feel comfortable doing more than 6 cycles in someone's entire lifetime because of the unknowns, some will go as high as 12 I think), so I would definitely not waste them on cycles that he probably won't be there for.

Also, not really what you were asking but same subject, research Clomid and the dangers of doing unmonitored cycles on it. There are a LOT of risks, and having an RE monitor you the entire cycle (or at least until you ovulate) is very important. I don't know if your fertility specialist was planning on doing this or not, but if not I would talk to them about it for sure.

Good luck!

Smudges*Mom · April 2011

I understand trying to work fertility treatments around a military schedule. Have you considered freezing DH's semen? That way, the pressure of him being available is gone, since you can use frozen if needed.

Funny story (at least I thought it was funny!)--we did IVF at Walter Reed. DH was in school at Fort Lee, 2.5 hours south. As we got closer to the day of the egg retrieval, DH took the needed paperwork in to the schoolhouse to let them know that he'd miss either Wednesday or Thursday for my procedure (which was dependent upon when the nearly 20 growing follicles would be mature). Evidently, the person with who DH talked thought he had a say in the matter. He told DH that Thursday would really be better. Poor H had to explain that he was merely doing as told and the decision was not his to make. If only we could plan, for convenience sake, when to have these procedures done!!

Best of luck with your treatment! Are you being seen by an RE? I hope so. As PP mentioned, monitoring on Clomid is really important. My body did not tolerate Clomid well, I got cysts as a result and the only way the RE knew that was by u/s. I had to sit out three cycles, and take BCPs, waiting for e cysts to go away.

sweetpea2003 · April 2011

Oh boy can I. My husband was actually in California for a military commitment when we did IVF (we lived in Maryland at the time). He had to freeze a sample prior to leaving and my mom had to take me to the ER and ET. Who needs men?? (just kidding of course, but I had to keep my sense of humor through our TTC journey). He should have been there but I ended up getting a cyst that delayed my cycle and then they pushed up my husband's date to go out there. Murphy's Law I suppose.

Earlier on in the journey we dealt with several cycles where we were reasonably sure that my DH would be away during my fertile window. During those cycles we didn't prevent, but I didn't take any drugs. Most REs don't want women doing more than 4-6 Clomid cycles so you don't want to waste any if your husband will likely be away.

You just have to be flexible. Unfortunately, the military lifestyle can add another layer of anxiety to an already tough situation with IF. I feel for you!!!

HawaiiMarineWife · April 2011

Thank you ladies so much! I have been trying to figure out how this is all going to work. I just had my consultation earlier this week and I'm waiting for AF to start to go in for my b/w. I will definitely bring up the fact that DH may not be around and let the doctor know that I won't take the clomid unless he will be around for my fertile window. I'm not sure about doing IVF yet. I'm not sure if that is covered under prime and DH and I really cannot afford that cost right now. We still have a few months before he deploys so we will see how this all turns out. His pre-deployment work up has him traveling a lot so I know he will be gone for at least 2 of my cycles entirely.

Smudges*Mom · April 2011

HawaiiMarineWife:
Thank you ladies so much! I have been trying to figure out how this is all going to work. I just had my consultation earlier this week and I'm waiting for AF to start to go in for my b/w. I will definitely bring up the fact that DH may not be around and let the doctor know that I won't take the clomid unless he will be around for my fertile window. I'm not sure about doing IVF yet. I'm not sure if that is covered under prime and DH and I really cannot afford that cost right now. We still have a few months before he deploys so we will see how this all turns out. His pre-deployment work up has him traveling a lot so I know he will be gone for at least 2 of my cycles entirely.

If you are starting on Clomid now, the possibility of IVF is a ways off. Hopefully, it won't come to that. But, Tricare does not cover IVF. If you are close enough to be seen by a military RE, at a clinic that does IVF, and if you are eligible, the cost is greatly reduced, but still expensive. Our cycle, 2.5 years ago, cost about $6k. But, don't worry about that. Take good care of yourself and good luck!

iluvred8072 · June 2011

Hi i am in the navy DH is in the Army so i understand your frustrations. did you consider getting his sperm frozen just in case. we have been tryin to concieve for a very long time and i keep having to go out to sea and i miss my ovulation day every time. its a little different for females since once they identify us as IF we can stay home for our appointments. depending on his command you could possibly get the doctor to get him to stay home so you can try to concieve its rare but it does happen. i have a e5 on my ship that they let him leave to BD when he found out the wife was ovulating. hope that this helps even a little bit

TTC during pre-deployment work up

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