Finally to the point of laughter with issues on BM. (long - good vent)
I am just kinda done with BM. I have finally reached that point where I just laugh at her stupidity and lack of reason and logic. (I hope my hormones don't effect this because it's nice and I don't wanna go back to stressing)
DH sent BM a long email regarding scheduling, back child support, health insurance, and prescriptions. She wasn't happy about part of it but we are all finally on the same page. She finally understands that we want things documented and after each conversation she send DH an email with what was discussed. YES!!! If DH agrees he doesn't email her back but if there is a conflict he emails her.
So last night was SS9's 1st baseball game (they won - double YAY!), while there the coach's wife was talking to all the parents about concession stand and a possible scrimmage on Sunday. Well the coach's wife talked to me first (as BM was not around at the time) and since we have the kids this weekend I told her I would let DH know and we would let her know the next day. I also told her that I would be able to help with concession and that before I committed DH to helping I would check with him and let her know that as well.
DH had class and showed up just as everyone was leaving the game, since it was about to rain after he said hello/bye to the kids he left for the house (he was on his motorcycle) and I met him there. I told him about the scrimmage on Sunday and we were fine with going. The words hadn't even left his mouth that yeah, we'd do the scrimmage before BM called. He told her yeah, I had just told him about it and that we had discussed it and we would be there. Then we went to Wally World and looked at clothes for our little girl that's on the way. Didn't think anything else of it.
Later last night we get an email in reference to the conversaion:
"I called you at 8pm to discuss :The scrimmage on this coming Sunday 5/1. You stated that you will be taking SS9. It is from 2-5 if I recall correctly. I realize that Summerlilly relayed this message to you, but please discuss these issues with me. It is nice that she wants to be involved but again I would greatly appreciate these matters to be discussed between you and I. I would also ask that should you get any information that you pass it along to me."
I just laughed and thought how petty. Gee, DH doesn't need to discuss with me, his wife, the schedule for the upcoming weekend in which we have the kids? Doesn't need to check and make sure that we have nothing else planned? DH would have called/emailed her about the scrimmage but didn't get the chance because he had been home 5 minutes before she called. Plus I don't think a scrimmage is an "issue" it is an event that DH and I may decide with SS9 to attend or not. Yes, we have stated that we will go and that's fine and we would have let her know so she could come but didn't have a chance. I just laugh now when I see her attempt to "put me in my place" and out of the world in which her children live.
I especially liked it when she told SS6 that he needed to stay where she could see him and he told her "where Summerlilly can see me too, right?" She didn't respond and I just turned my back toward her and smiled.
Re: Finally to the point of laughter with issues on BM. (long - good vent)
When we went to court the GAL we had was so focused on "communication about SD being between her parents"... blah blah blah. She said H should not rely on me as a means of communication with teachers, doctors, coaches, baby-sitters, etc... and that any communication about school, medical, sports, day care, etc... should take place between him and BM.
Fast forward to today and BM NEVER calls DH, only me. She also never calls the school, the doctor/dentist, the coach, or the baby-sitter. If there is an issue she calls me and asks me to call them. Which I do, because it's easier. lol.
Eat that, GAL.
Wow, I find this situation funny too. In our BF I do all communication with BM. If she and DH have to talk it always ends in a fight, so she actually prefers that I talk to her on all everyday matters. If it is something big then she and DH will talk but I usually have to mediate. It wasn't always like this but I am glad it is now, a lot less chaos this way. And since BM's boyfriend isnt around anymore, we are all on pretty good terms lately.
Sorry you have to deal with her pettiness, hopefully she will grow out of it with time. At least you can laugh about it now, that will make things less stressful. GL
I know how you feel. We had thought things were going well with BM a couple of months ago (DH and BM actually had a conversation and agreed about what was best for SS)! Then a few weeks later we get a nasty letter in mail from her lawyer, just complaining about ridiculous things that no judge would ever care about and requesting things that go against our Court Order. We respond to each item, tell her we prefer to follow the CO and also mention the things BM should be doing per the CO that she is not doing. Yesterday we got another letter in the mail with several new complaints, a couple non-CO things we already said no to, and it didn't address any of our concerns from the previous letter.
It is so frustrating and stressful to get these letters. It is such a waste of time and money to involve lawyers like this. I'm actually surprised her lawyer even agrees to write them, because they are so ridiculous. However, last night DH and I agreed that we really shouldn't let it bother us and we just need to laugh at most of it, provide our standard response that we are following the CO and she needs to, too, and be done with it. We copied and pasted half of the response from last time. We have also accepted that communication is always going to be difficult with BM.
We have a really similar situation. I'm the one that communicates with BM because her and DH often argue when they talk. BM is not a very rational person and DH has a pretty low tolerance for it. Since I am a therapist/social worker, I usually just put on my "professional hat" before talking to BM and I find it much easier to be diplomatic with her than DH does.
I totally wish that I could talk with BM about stuff. She just won't let me. BM sound like your BM and DH has a very low tolerance for her.
She even went so far as to mention to DH that I corrected her a few weeks ago (not in front of the kids though) She said that SS9 didn't want us to use his nickname in front of his friends and asked him if he had told Mrs. Summerlilly about it. I told her that I would try as it's a habit to use his nickname and also told her they don't need to refer to me as that (and they don't normally) they can just call me Summerlilly. She rolled her eyes at me. They don't call her BF Mr. such and such plus I'm their stepmom it's weird to hear them say Mrs. Summerlilly. I was estatic when the youngest finally droped it from his vocabulary, he actually remembers me being happy about it.