What do you think the ideal age is between children?

JLK0414 · April 2011

What factors influence your choice?

drewiekc · April 2011

I dont know if there is really a universal "ideal" age, but for me personally, I think 3 years. That way #1 SHOULD be out of diapers and can be in preschool. So, 3 years is what we're planning on.

LCB34 · April 2011

If my ute worked, I would have 2u1. I am still hoping and praying for 2u2.

Really though, I am fine with any age gap that is 3.5 years or less between children. For various reasons, we do not want more that that gap between our kids.

So, if I cannot get pregnant or have a successful adoption but the time Kate is a little older than 2.5, we will no longer attempt to grow our family.

cme79 · April 2011

For me, 3 years. My thinking is I would like one out of diapers before the other is here.

franceshouseman · April 2011

My two are 3 years, 3 months apart. It's worked out well. We didn't want two in diapers and DD was completely potty trained at 2. She's a great helper. The only downside is she does have her jealous moments. I think there isn't a perfect time really, there are downsides at every age gap really.

cjdanielson · April 2011

My brother and I were 4 years apart and faught like cats and dogs and never really had a time when we were close when we were little except when he was an infant. My DH and his sister are like 16mos apart and were really close. I have a friend that is 14ish mos apart from her sister and they have always been close. My SIL has 3 kids- 1+2 are 20 mos apart and 2+3 are 28mos apart. 1+2 are close and hang out and play together still fight like brothers but still have the same interests for the most part. So Im hoping its 2years or less as were ttc now... I know siblings will always fight but Id like them to be close so they can enjoy eachother and the same things/stages together.

ETA: My brother and I are very close now though

MrsG NC · April 2011

For us about 2 years is what we would like. We are going to start trying in August/September. I cannot wait!!

BC&MM · April 2011

I am hoping 18 months, but DH is more like 2 years.

emilydholmes1 · April 2011

I think the ideal age really varies by family.

For us, we know we want to have more but realistically won't start TTC for 3 years or so.

KelzinBoston · April 2011

We started trying at the point that they would have been 18 months apart....

but with a m/c and it taking a little bit they ended up 27 months apart.

I like it, but because of the move we missed out on having DS1 in Preschool this year and the 2 of them home with me allllllllll day has been a bit much. It has been good in that DS1 is a lot more independent, but he's been hitting a rough patch turning 3 (from talking to a lot of Moms I've heard similar...that the 2's weren't so terrible, but the 3's can be a bit rough).

I'm still happy they are close in age.

str8ota · April 2011

When I was younger I always thought 2 years apart (especially had this mindset with school, 1 being in 3rd grade, 1 being in 1st grade), once I got older I didn't care about age difference, in fact the plan was to start ttc 8 weeks after dd was born...I was all about the Irish twins!

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

Mine are 3 years, 1 month, & 1 day apart. For me it is the perfect age difference. DS1 is more independent, has been pottytrained since he was 22 months, loves being a big borther. There has been no jealousy yet.

And yes, FYI, the terrible twos is a joke. The threes is what you really have to worry about!!!

Unknown · April 2011

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MyBdayPresent · April 2011

For me there is no specific time between kids. Ideal = the parents have the energy and desire to properly parent both kids.

KelzinBoston · April 2011

HappyDaze12:

Mine are 3 years, 1 month, & 1 day apart. For me it is the perfect age difference. DS1 is more independent, has been pottytrained since he was 22 months, loves being a big borther. There has been no jealousy yet.

And yes, FYI, the terrible twos is a joke. The threes is what you really have to worry about!!!

That's what I think is starting to happen in this house.

We have had some tough tough tough days lately...

franceshouseman · April 2011

HappyDaze12:
Mine are 3 years, 1 month, & 1 day apart. For me it is the perfect age difference. DS1 is more independent, has been pottytrained since he was 22 months, loves being a big borther. There has been no jealousy yet.

And yes, FYI, the terrible twos is a joke. The threes is what you really have to worry about!!!

Amen to the horrible 3s! DD was an angel, then she turned 3. It's been a rough few months but we're easing out of it.

MrsQueale · April 2011

I have over a 3 year difference between my kids and I love it! I enjoy not having 2 sets of diapers to change. Makayla is old enough to feed herself and likes her alone time. Plus she can communicate her needs. One baby at a time is enough for me.

pinkmoonlight · April 2011

I would love 2 under 1 but because I had a c/s and want possibly try for a VBAC we are waiting till dd is 1 to try so hopefully 2 under 2. Then next two will be 2 under 1 regardless of c-section or vbac. My youngest sibs where 2 under 1 and my mom said she loved it like that. They are very close even as teenagers.

rg8482 · April 2011

I think an ideal age is about 3-4 years apart.

My reasoning being that I want to enjoy E as much as possible and even spoil her a bit. I will love my future children just as much but I just feel the need to give her her time as my first.

Also, we live in a tiny condo and we want to purchase a house before having any other children.

Acendaneil · April 2011

One day while DH and I were in the check out line, a guy behind us started asking us how many children we had (about 2 1/2 years pre-baby). We said we didn't have any children at the moment, and he kept saying how we looked like we'll be good parents, how him and his wife had #1, had #2 when #1 was 2 (so that they could be 2 years apart to be close in age, yet still have their own thing going on). Then they had #3 when #2 was 4, and #4 when #3 was 2 for the same reasons. They said they had the 4 year gap because they wanted the two younger ones to have each other, etc. etc. It was quite weird, but it made sense to us.

So anyway, DH wants to have another one as soon as we get our own place...I don't, I want to wait until DD is at least 3. So we'll be waiting until sometime in 2012 to get pregnant...maybe. It all depends on how things are going for us at the time.

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