Maryland Babies
Cooper81
member
Paternity leave?
Cooper81
member
Do you think your DH would take it if he could? I have a male co-worker who had a baby 10 weeks ago and next week when his wife goes back to work, he is going to take off 6 weeks of FMLA to stay home with the baby. I think it's great that he's doing it, he says he is really looking forward to it and getting to know his daughter the way his wife does. I haven't brought it up to DH yet, but I think he would def. take the time if he could, but I also know that he would be really anxious about how taking all that time off would look to his managers and what it would do to his career.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Paternity leave?
Absolutely!! If there was a paid option, DH would totally do it. Because a lot of leave is not paid it's not really an option for us because he's the breadwinner in our family.
DH and I have started talking about the possibility of him taking off some time when I return to work (though not 6 weeks like your c/w, more like a week) to make my transition back to work easier.
I'm a Fed so none of it is paid (wasn't for me either), but you do have the option to take paid leave. B/C I carry our insurance, and we still needed a little $ coming in for my 12 weeks off, I did a combo of taking half a pay period of paid leave and half FMLA, so I still had $ to cover insurance and had a little coming in every week. Plus I've been told that taking all FMLA can mess with your Thrift Savings Plan (fed's 401k) and insurance in other ways.
We're both Feds, so DH can take the same 6 weeks of sick leave that I can, so it's paid for both of us. Then we move into vacation time. Neither of us intends to use LWOP. He may be moving into a management role and therefore may end up working from home some, or part time, but otherwise, I kind of thought he was going to stay home with me! If I'm totally wrong with how the gov't works, tell me now!!
Baby Girl #2 is on her way!
Happy Birthday, little man. We love you so much!
My favorite money saving tip: I've earned more than $300 in gift cards (Amazon, Starbucks, Southwest!) using SwagBucks for internet searching - and you can too! It's FREE and EASY!
I think if it were paid, DH would take it. But probably not the full amount of time offered, maybe only a week or two. He has a strong work ethic and couldn't be away from the jobsite for that long of a period without knowing whats going on.
I have a friend whose husband is now using his 12 weeks of FMLA to be a SAHD with their son when she went back to work.
DH took a week of leave after DD was born and then worked from home PT/@ the office PT for another week or so - and then we had the holidays and he got sick so he was around/flexible for another week or two. It was fine.
If it were paid paternity leave, he might take a week or two more, but I don't think he would have been comfortable staying home FT w/ DD when she was a newborn.
My friend's husband did what OP is talking about (and he's a fed) after her ML ended and she went back to work, he took off ~ 6 weeks w/ their LO. They were desperately anti-daycare though and trying to delay that. My friend ended up quitting anyway and stayed home for a year.
If my DH were at a different company AND it were paid, absolutely. He's likely take all 12 weeks, or as much of it paid as he could. DH only gets 10 vacation days per year. He was not allowed to use sick leave for DD's birth, so he took FMLa for 2 weeks - 1paid and 1 w/out pay.
Where I work, you can take all 12 weeks, but it is not paid UNLESS you have saved up enough sick/vacation days to get it paid, which I did.
My DH doesn't get "paternity leave" but he has tons of vacation time saved up so he will be taking 4 weeks off when the baby is born. So we'll both be home that first month. I am really thankful for this because then we can jump into the whole parenting thing together and I'm not on my own from the start. I will stay home another 4-6 weeks after he goes back to work.
If he had paid paternity leave, I'm sure he'd take it all.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w
BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w
BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d
BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
My Blog: Decorate This
I just used "paternity leave" in place of FMLA, but this is covered under FMLA if your DH's company is eligible. He wouldn't be eligible for the disability pay that some private companies have for employee's but could take the time off covered by FMLA.
Since I SAH and I was effectively unemployed a month before DD was born, DH could never take off more than a week of unpaid leave. Both of our kids were born on Mondays and his company gives him the day of the birth off (which is ridiculous considering that I was in labor w/ DD for a full 23 hours) and then he takes the rest of the week off.
My husband would definitely take a couple of weeks off if he could, but he's a Federal contractor, and he just doesn't accumulate leave very quickly... We've had a pretty busy year or two, so we've used up a lot. Hopefully, he'll be able to spend a week at home with us by the time the baby is here.
I'm Federal, but I've unfortunately used my leave a bit liberally in the past, so I've only built up enough sick and annual to take off about 9/10 weeks total. It would be nice to have the full 12 weeks! Since we'll have a new baby and bigger mortgage by then, we just can't afford to do LWOP (leave without pay).
Since DD was born during the middle of tax season, DH was only able to take 3 days off which was fine because with one, aside from the sleepless nights, she napped a lot during the day and I felt like I had a good handle on things without him there. (Don't get me wrong, it was rough but somehow I managed...)
With #2 coming in September, I definitely need DH to take the 1 week he gets paid for paternity leave and hopefully another week of vacation, especially with 2 under 2 and to help me keep my sanity! I'm sure DH will be happy to be home, since this time around it comes without the stress and deadlines from tax season.