You are not going to belive this... Well you probably will!

massagegirly · April 2011

My sister in law got asked by a complete stranger yesterday if her twins were "natural" or "artificial". I soooo wish I was with her! This lady would have never, ever asked another question before throughly thinking it through. What a twat waffle!

jcyahne · April 2011

Surprise

I think that "twat waffle" sums it up nicely!

ETA: maybe I should start referring to Hayden as my "natural" child and Jillian as my "artificial" one.

Zista · April 2011

wow.

me: "totally artificial! Isn't it amazing what they can do with plastic nowadays?"

MrsH_08 · April 2011

Zista:

me: "totally artificial! Isn't it amazing what they can do with plastic nowadays?"

Like! :-)

I guess that makes my son artificial, too. Then why am I so damn excited? Silly me.

Sadly, K, I can believe she was asked that. :-p

CDMay2006 · April 2011

It was a totally inappropriate question, and obviously asked by a rude and uninformed woman, but it *is* called artificial insemination, so the term isn't really from left field.

seattlestef · April 2011

You'd be surprised at how many twin moms get asked this question! It's like having twins means people can ask you anything about their conception. I also got asked a lot if a breastfed them both and how it worked to breastfeed two babies - by completely strangers in public. Just so weird....

LauraLynneC · April 2011

people just have NO filters!!

I'm "old" - 42 - and people who find out (or see) that I'm pregnant ask me every variation of "did you MEAN to do this?!"

*eye roll*

People need to learn to THINK before they speak...

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

CDMay2006:
It was a totally inappropriate question, and obviously asked by a rude and uninformed woman, but it *is* called artificial insemination, so the term isn't really from left field.

Not really. No one calls it that anymore. It's IUI or IVF. Intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization.

I've heard of many people asking if twins were "natural" meaning "spontaneous" or "not with medical help". And I think in that case they just don't think through that the opposite of "natural" is "artificial" or "unnatural". So I sort of cut some slack and try to just point out the error. But for someone to actually say "artificial" is just moronic and insulting.

CDMay2006 · April 2011

Seattle_JiLLn:
CDMay2006:
It was a totally inappropriate question, and obviously asked by a rude and uninformed woman, but it *is* called artificial insemination, so the term isn't really from left field.
Not really. No one calls it that anymore. It's IUI or IVF. Intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization.
I've heard of many people asking if twins were "natural" meaning "spontaneous" or "not with medical help". And I think in that case they just don't think through that the opposite of "natural" is "artificial" or "unnatural". So I sort of cut some slack and try to just point out the error. But for someone to actually say "artificial" is just moronic and insulting.

I've seen several times on THIS board (as well as others) where "AI" is used. This means artificial insemination, no?

ETA: That wording might sound snarky, but i was just asking.

KNemo · April 2011

seattlestef:
You'd be surprised at how many twin moms get asked this question! It's like having twins means people can ask you anything about their conception. I also got asked a lot if a breastfed them both and how it worked to breastfeed two babies - by completely strangers in public. Just so weird....

So crazy inappropriate, especially the desire for detailed information on how you would breastfeed twins.

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

CDMay2006:
Seattle_JiLLn:
CDMay2006:
It was a totally inappropriate question, and obviously asked by a rude and uninformed woman, but it *is* called artificial insemination, so the term isn't really from left field.
Not really. No one calls it that anymore. It's IUI or IVF. Intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization.
I've heard of many people asking if twins were "natural" meaning "spontaneous" or "not with medical help". And I think in that case they just don't think through that the opposite of "natural" is "artificial" or "unnatural". So I sort of cut some slack and try to just point out the error. But for someone to actually say "artificial" is just moronic and insulting.
I've seen several times on THIS board (as well as others) where "AI" is used. This means artificial insemination, no?
ETA: That wording might sound snarky, but i was just asking.

hmmm... I don't recall anyone saying that. I've seen AR for assisted reproduction. But I'd be surprised if people actually going through fertility treatments would use the term artificial insemination. RE's never use that term in my experience.

In any event, I still think even if you think of the term Artificial Insemination that calling twins "natural or artificial" is offensive... the kids are never "artificial". And honestly, neither is the insemination. It's not artificial. It's real, live, natural sperm.

keri1013 · April 2011

Ugh, how rude! Makes me think of some of the boy/girl twin mamas on this board who've been asked if their twins are identical. What is wrong with people?

iHeartHimMore · April 2011

keri1013:
Makes me think of some of the boy/girl twin mamas on this board who've been asked if their twins are identical.

ha! That's just idiotic.

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

iHeartHimMore:
keri1013:
Makes me think of some of the boy/girl twin mamas on this board who've been asked if their twins are identical.
ha! That's just idiotic.

And that makes me think back to the classic Irish twins post and what kind of birth control you should use while you are pregnant.

iHeartHimMore · April 2011

Seattle_JiLLn:
iHeartHimMore:
keri1013:
Makes me think of some of the boy/girl twin mamas on this board who've been asked if their twins are identical.
ha! That's just idiotic.
And that makes me think back to the classic Irish twins post and what kind of birth control you should use while you are pregnant.

It still cracks me up thinking about the siggy badges that said "I survived Irish twin day." What a train wreck that was!

CDMay2006 · April 2011

Seattle_JiLLn:
hmmm... I don't recall anyone saying that. I've seen AR for assisted reproduction. But I'd be surprised if people actually going through fertility treatments would use the term artificial insemination. RE's never use that term in my experience.
In any event, I still think even if you think of the term Artificial Insemination that calling twins "natural or artificial" is offensive... the kids are never "artificial". And honestly, neither is the insemination. It's not artificial. It's real, live, natural sperm.

Perhaps on this board it was a typo (meant to be AR)... and on the national boards, you never know what you are going to see, so who knows.

Regardless, i agree (the fertilization is an artificial process, but beyond that rest of it -- from implantation onward -- is the same as any other pregnancy), and it's an issue among adoptive parents, as well: a lot of documents (e.g., for health care, as i understand it) refers to biological children as "natural" and adopted children as "artificial." The bigger problem, though, is that of people not thinking through their actions before they make them.

MrsH_08 · April 2011

My #1 biggest problem with questions like these is that, frankly, it's really none of their d@mn business how I got pregnant (or how old I am, or whether I plan to breastfeed, or why I want a c/s vs vaginal birth, etc). If I care to share this info with you, then you already know. If you don't know, don't ask... esp strangers in stores or places like that. Questions about someone's sex life, fertility status, uterine status, breast usage, etc, are very inappropriate, IMO. (I don't even talk about such things with my parents.)

Luckily, the only comments I've gotten were about my wrist braces. I've started wearing them in public b/c the pain is really quite bad, esp without them. People can't believe the carpal tunnel is strictly from pg and I didn't have it before. Why is that even a big deal? Could be worse, so I just say "yep, pregnancy swelling... yep, both wrists."

iHeartHimMore · April 2011

CDMay2006:
I've seen several times on THIS board (as well as others) where "AI" is used. This means artificial insemination, no?
ETA: That wording might sound snarky, but i was just asking.

I just realized something. I might be way off base because the context is obviously wildly different, but many of us do use "AI"... except we're talking about American Idol. It dawned on me while replying in the thread about The Voice.

I guess if you just saw the title of a thread that was called "AI ladies" (or something) but didn't read it, the acronym could certainly be interpreted in a different way.

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

Mrs H I totally agree. Although I try to remember that most people ask just out of curiosity and often to be able to share stories or whatever. It's not usually malicious and it's not usually to lecture you about doing it another way. So if you can remember that they don't mean anything by asking about your pregnancy other than to be interested in you and your baby, it's easier to let the inappropriate stuff roll. And I always remember dear abby. She said her standard Redponse to inappropriate questions was "why would you ask that?" i like it it's good. It's polite. It doesn't provide an answer. And it turns it back on them.

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

CDMay - you're saying health care documents refer to adopted children as "artificial"???

~Lynchie~ · April 2011

Along the same lines, I have already had 4 people (including my original dr in enumclaw) ask me if I was "Trying for twins?" Um... I didnt know you COULD try for twins!!??

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

~Lynchie~:
Along the same lines, I have already had 4 people (including my original dr in enumclaw) ask me if I was "Trying for twins?" Um... I didnt know you COULD try for twins!!??

You should say "well actually we were trying for triplets"... and leave them hanging. Or else say something like "yes we were. We had sex twice every night."

~Lynchie~ · April 2011

Seattle_JiLLn:
~Lynchie~:

Along the same lines, I have already had 4 people (including my original dr in enumclaw) ask me if I was "Trying for twins?" Um... I didnt know you COULD try for twins!!??

You should say "well actually we were trying for triplets"... and leave them hanging. Or else say something like "yes we were. We had sex twice every night."

at least that second part would be true!! and dh thinks thats why we ended up with twins... (ok not really, but he likes to joke about it =P)

CDMay2006 · April 2011

Seattle_JiLLn:
CDMay - you're saying health care documents refer to adopted children as "artificial"???

Yes, both foster and adopt. I can't remember what it was, but on the adoption board a while back someone brought it up. I was thinking that terminology was used in the poster's employer's official documents regarding health care, but it may have been something else... either way it was official documents created by their employer regarding eligibility for something.

CDMay2006 · April 2011

~Lynchie~:
Seattle_JiLLn:
~Lynchie~:
Along the same lines, I have already had 4 people (including my original dr in enumclaw) ask me if I was "Trying for twins?" Um... I didnt know you COULD try for twins!!??
You should say "well actually we were trying for triplets"... and leave them hanging. Or else say something like "yes we were. We had sex twice every night."
at least that second part would be true!! and dh thinks thats why we ended up with twins... (ok not really, but he likes to joke about it =P)

All of this is awesome.

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

CDMay2006:
Seattle_JiLLn:
CDMay - you're saying health care documents refer to adopted children as "artificial"???
Yes, both foster and adopt. I can't remember what it was, but on the adoption board a while back someone brought it up. I was thinking that terminology was used in the poster's employer's official documents regarding health care, but it may have been something else... either way it was official documents created by their employer regarding eligibility for something.

wow. I can't even imagine someone thinking that was at all appropriate. I can see not really thinking and having a question about "natural", and then someone taking the implication that not natural = artificial, but why would they write "artificial kids" in a form??? People are morons.

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

~Lynchie~:
Seattle_JiLLn:
~Lynchie~:

Along the same lines, I have already had 4 people (including my original dr in enumclaw) ask me if I was "Trying for twins?" Um... I didnt know you COULD try for twins!!??
You should say "well actually we were trying for triplets"... and leave them hanging. Or else say something like "yes we were. We had sex twice every night."
at least that second part would be true!! and dh thinks thats why we ended up with twins... (ok not really, but he likes to joke about it =P)

LOL!

CDMay2006 · April 2011

Seattle_JiLLn:
CDMay2006:
Seattle_JiLLn:
CDMay - you're saying health care documents refer to adopted children as "artificial"???
Yes, both foster and adopt. I can't remember what it was, but on the adoption board a while back someone brought it up. I was thinking that terminology was used in the poster's employer's official documents regarding health care, but it may have been something else... either way it was official documents created by their employer regarding eligibility for something.
wow. I can't even imagine someone thinking that was at all appropriate. I can see not really thinking and having a question about "natural", and then someone taking the implication that not natural = artificial, but why would they write "artificial kids" in a form??? People are morons.

Right?

Have i mentioned that that's an adorable picture of your boys?

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

CDMay2006:
Have i mentioned that that's an adorable picture of your boys?

Thanks!!

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