Anyone else's kid outgoing at home but shy at school?

KristinKD · April 2011

When I'm with her, DD is outgoing and talkative. She gets so excited when she sees her friends outside around the neighborhood. At the playground, she wants to play with every kid she sees, big or small. In stores, she'll chat up cashiers or other customers, spilling the latest dish on her life. She loves other kids and loves to talk, talk, talk.

At school, though, she's been really, really shy. In talking with her teacher at her first parent-teacher conference in the fall, I thought it was because she was still getting used to school and needed some time to break out of her shell. Well, we had our spring conferences two weeks ago, and her teacher told me she has made some improvement, in that instead of needing to take some time to warm up before starting to play, she can now jump right into a play area. However, it still sounds like she doesn't interact with the other kids as much as she does with her neighborhood friends or random kids at the playground. When I mentioned how different she is around home, her teacher first asked if she liked school (she does!), and then thought maybe it was because she felt more comfortable when DH and I were around.

So yesterday, we took a class trip to a local farm, and I thought she'd be a little more outgoing with her classmates since I was there with her, but she was clingy for close to an hour before she finally warmed up to it. (Another mom and I were commiserating over our clingy kids, but her son is a good nine months younger than DD!) Once they served the kids farm-fresh ice cream, well, then she really started to enjoy herself. lol.

I'm not really concerned about it; it's more that I just find it so strange that she's like two different kids!

Anyone else with a two-sided kid like mine?

ilovemygirls · April 2011

My oldest is like that! The kid will talk anyone's ear off but at school she's MUCH more reserved. Not overly so I don't think, but she is definitely much different than when at home or out & about. I think it's actually good for her- and esp. glad that she's not getting in trouble for talking at school! It is strange though, I agree. The first few times I volunteered in her class I was just astounded at how different she was!

CD+AL · April 2011

Truthfully, you just described me growing up. I'm as chatty and outgoing as they come (never met a stranger in my life), but at school, I was always pretty quiet and reserved. I just never quite felt comfortable in my own skin there. I'm not really sure why...I loved learning, and I loved school in and of itself. I just never quite felt "right" at school. Still can't really explain it or put it into words today, but I remember that feeling quite well.

Jinsy80 · April 2011

Yes, and I was super surprised to find out. My daughter sounds exactly like yours. I don't think she talks too much in school, but at home and out & about, she's non-stop.

MercierGirl · April 2011

We just had our parent/teacher conference yesterday and I found out the same thing. He started this new school in December and I thought when they did the review in Feb. that he was just still trying to get used to it, but now being April, Im surprised! They said he has a few friends but wont really join in on circle time. He loves one on one with the teachers jsut not everyone. But yet when he comes home, he does all the stuff with me he didnt do in circle time! Im glad you posted this...I was curious if it was just my son! lol