I've hit a wall...(kind of long)

Yellow_Daisy · April 2011

Warning: I'm going to whine and this may be TMI...I'm feeling a little pathetic today.

How are you all getting through the days at this point? I'm exhausted and not sleeping. My feet/legs are so swollen that they are throbbing 24/7, just constant pain, I can't fit my feet into shoes anymore so all I can wear are flip flops which aren't allowed at work, but I don't know what else to do because I can't go barefoot. The swelling used to go down overnight, but even that isn't happening anymore. My hands hurt from the carpal tunnel. Both my hands and feet are going numb on and off throughout the day, I would assume from lack of blood flow/circulation. Every time I stand up the gravity on my belly causes this intense pain in my belly/ute, that's the best way I can describe it. And (maybe TMI) I have constant diarrhea and my bottom just hurts at this point Embarrassed . I'm eating the BRAT diet to try and offset this, but it's not working.

I'm beyond stressed at work trying to get so much done and everyday my bosses (I have 3) change my #1 priority so I can't finish anything. Which means that people are mad/frustrated/irritated with me for not getting to their work/projects (I support a hundred staff members by myself in my section of IT). I've talked to them and expressed that I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed with all the new projects they keep piling on that *have* to be finished before I go on maternity leave, but it's like it goes in one ear and out the other.

So with the physical pain and emotional stress I feel like I'm about to break. This morning I just laid in bed and started to cry when the alarm went off because I just don't think I can do this much longer.

And now I feel absolutely terrible for complaining about everything because I could name 100 people who would gladly trade places with me. I love being PG, truly this has probably been the best experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I don't know how to keep up for the next 7 weeks until I go on maternity leave. I have no idea how people work up until their due date because I could not do it. I know I sound like a pathetic whiner I just had to get all this out of my head before it explodes. Now I should probably go to work...

etoyama · April 2011

OH YD, I am so sorry! I had no idea you were in that much physical pain. That sounds aboslutely awful Is there any way at all your doctor can get your out of work even half the day? Maybe say you can only work part-time until mat leave starts? I would think that the stress is probably not helping your RA at all, and it just sounds like you're reaching the end of your rope. Huge (((HUGS)))

Oh and don't feel badly about complaining! It doesn't mean you're not thankful for being pregnant or something! Goodness.

MrsMAF · April 2011

You don't sound like a pathetic whiner, you sound honest. Just because we all wanted to have a baby more then anything, it never meant we had to enjoy all the pieces of the journey getting there. Pregnancy sometimes is just not easy...and for you right now you sound like you are experiencing all those yucky things that so many women do towards the end of their pregnancies. It's not easy. Throw work stress in on top of that, its overwhelming...I can only imagine.

Hang in there hon, you're allowed to complain...just know there is an end in sight and soon you will be a mama!!!

Yellow_Daisy · April 2011

Thanks etoyama and mrsmaf. It's been getting progressively harder, but in the last 2 days I feel like things are really coming to a head. Last week I was tired and the other things were a nuisance, but I still felt like I could make it longer. This week it just seems like things have changed so much! I have a doc appt on Monday and plan to talk to him about how I'm feeling and what we can do to help alleviate some of this, maybe working shorter days or something, who knows what.

September2007 · April 2011

Oh darling -- I'm so very sorry to read all of this! I don't have any advice on the physical pain stuff, other than to say, maybe it's worth a conversation with your OB to get put out earlier on a modified bedrest? Just to give your body a chance to right itself before L&D.

I can understand your work frustrations -- I'm in the same boat... I support 1,400 employees from an HR standpoint, and everyone thinks that their issue is the only one I am dealing with. Plus, I have a manager that doles out project work to me because she "knows I'll get it done."

Maybe it's worth taking leave earlier than 37w just to give you some restful time before motherhood joins in on the fray. And, above all else, just take care of you. When you're feeling bad or upset, or frustrated, take the time to work through that. Burying it and trying to please everyone else will only make it worse...

I'm thinking of you... If there's anything I can do to help, please do not hesitate to reach out.

njohnson1972 · April 2011

I am 3 weeks behind you and feel pretty cruddy most of the time. Especially with the swelling and now I am extremely tired in the evenings.

Today I am in flip flops, a dress and cardigan. I have my dress shoes under my desk just in case. My OB said in 2 weeks I won't be able to wear anything but flip flops due to the amount of swelling.

So, I totally relate. I don't have much advice about the work situation. I have doubled my account load at work in 3 months (I knew this was coming). I just keep counting down the days until I get my 3 month reprieve from work.

And as much as I love this baby, I don't think pregnancy is that great. I remind myself that I would rather be the one suffering/complaining and not my baby, so that helps me get through tough days. I know the baby is doing very well - completely clueless to how crappy I feel and I guess that is how it should be.

(((hugs))) and I hope you feel better soon.

LCS040209 · April 2011

You definitely need a break! Of course your feeling overwhelmed and stressed -- anyone would with all of that going on. Don't feel bad for complaining. Maybe you need to a day off just to unwind and do nothing? Hang in there, sweetie.

MrsVo · April 2011

I am so sorry you are having a hard time. Sending lots of T&Ps that you can go part time of something that will help!! {{{hugs}}}

njohnson1972 · April 2011

I was thinking more about this, can you take a personal day? Just to mentally unwind and regroup?? I know you have a lot on your plate at work, but sometimes we just need a day off.

hep01 · April 2011

Im sorry!! I really hope that you get some relief, both physically & work related, very soon!!

brody8336 · April 2011

Hang in there! I felt this same way about a month ago too (outrageous swelling, terrible carpal tunnel) and so I went to 6 hour work days. It really helped for about a month until my BP spiked. Now that I am working from home on a laptop, and I'm able to keep my feet up, my swelling has improved 100% and I'm able to put my shoes on again. Can you work from home for a few days to decompress?

Honestly, I feel like a new person now that I am at home. I actually lost weight over the past 2 weeks between checkups because my fluid retention decreased so much.

I hope you can find some relief soon!

Yellow_Daisy · April 2011

njohnson1972:
I was thinking more about this, can you take a personal day? Just to mentally unwind and regroup?? I know you have a lot on your plate at work, but sometimes we just need a day off.

Unfortunately my first day without staff meetings isn't until May 12th. So I can't take a day off until after the 12th. I still need to burn a vacation day, furlough day and floating holiday in May before I go on leave and don't even know when I will do that.

BathingInBitter · April 2011

brody8336:
Hang in there! I felt this same way about a month ago too (outrageous swelling, terrible carpal tunnel) and so I went to 6 hour work days. It really helped for about a month until my BP spiked. Now that I am working from home on a laptop, and I'm able to keep my feet up, my swelling has improved 100% and I'm able to put my shoes on again. Can you work from home for a few days to decompress?

Honestly, I feel like a new person now that I am at home. I actually lost weight over the past 2 weeks between checkups because my fluid retention decreased so much.

I hope you can find some relief soon!

I read this from my iPod but I can't post from there. I am so sorry that you're in so much pain and that you're going through all of this. Like someone else said, just because we wanted to be pregnant doesn't mean that we'll enjoy every piece.

I was going to ask if you can work from home, so you can stay off your feet and take care of YOU! You and Max are what's important here... your job will survive without you.

I would definitely talk to your OB about maybe being able to put you on bedrest/shorter days at work or even working from home. That way it's coming from your Dr. and you don't have to worry what your employer will think about you (if that's what you're worried about).

Take care of you and Max, babe. That's what is most important.. and I promise the rest will fall into place. ((hugs))

If you need me, you know how to get a hold of me. Always here for you.

mikeandangie · April 2011

I hope the doctor will take you off work for a little bit. I am sorry that you are so miserable. (((Hugs)))

ladyprof · April 2011

You absolutely have the right to complain. Fighting through IF does not take away the fact that sometimes pregnancy sucks. If you are in such pain, please talk to your doctor and see what he/she can do about it. I feel so bad for you! I wish there was some better advice that I could offer.

LnR70707 · April 2011

I am sitting here also wondering how I'm going to make it through (and feeling horribly guilty about being miserable while pregnant) and I'm nowhere near as bad off as you seem to be. I pulled out my remaining sick/vacation day schedule to see how far I have to stretch things before I am out of here (non-profit and no maternity leave so I'm resigning). My ankles are killing me, I'm exhausted, and I'm pretty sure m/s is coming back. At this point I think I might have to work half days through most of June....if I can just get through May...

cbubbles2 · April 2011

((Hugs)) I am so sorry. Please don't feel bad for feeling this way or needing to vent. That's why we're here! I hope the next 7 weeks fly by for you and your work load eases up.

PurplePanda83 · April 2011

((HUGS)) I'm sorry things are so rough right now sweetie.

katezta · April 2011

Vent away. I am a whiner by nature and it makes me happy to whine sometimes!!!!

I would suggest (if you can afford it time/money wise) taking a day or a half day a week off of work. You can rest and work on the swelling during that time off. A girl that I worked with a few years ago was pg with twins and did this at the end of the school year. She said it kept her sanity.

Try to remember (I am working on this right now myself)...your job is to keep yourself and the baby healthy. Work will be there. No you may not be working up to your normal standards, but your coworkers will have to deal and you will have to forgive yourself. It is a finite period of time.

I hope you feel better!!

Echloe · April 2011

I agree with the others that you are in need a of a break. Even though everyone at work thinks that their issues are important and will probably be annoyed by you taking a day or 2 off it just doesn't matter. It is just work and will get done when it gets done. Yes you have an appointment on Monday but I think you should go home early today and put your feet up. And take tomorrow off. So you miss a meeting. $hit happens. They will have to get over it. Your health and the health of Max comes first. I felt super guilty for taking 3 days off for cerclage surgery. I had to cancel 5 classes. But you know what. Everyone was more concerned about my health. I'm sure your colleagues will understand. And even if they don't.... F them.

I hope you feel better C. I hate that you are in all that physical pain. Hugs.

Jessie*J · April 2011

T&P's for you!!! I would definetly discuss it with your OB and see if you all can work something out. Try to hang in there. The end of pregnancy can get pretty hard.

MyShellyBelly · April 2011

I just wanted to offer up some major (((HUGS))) sweetie!!!

katerena · April 2011

Ugh, I'm so sorry you are in so much pain, that sounds awful!! Sending you enormous hugs! We all know how thrilled you are to have a baby and we know you love your baby, but that doesn't mean you have to love being in pain. I'm hoping the rest of the time goes by so fast, or that your dr pulls you out of work early!! Take care of yourself sweetie!

BigHairQueen · April 2011

Echloe:
I agree with the others that you are in need a of a break. Even though everyone at work thinks that their issues are important and will probably be annoyed by you taking a day or 2 off it just doesn't matter. It is just work and will get done when it gets done. Yes you have an appointment on Monday but I think you should go home early today and put your feet up. And take tomorrow off. So you miss a meeting. $hit happens. They will have to get over it. Your health and the health of Max comes first. I felt super guilty for taking 3 days off for cerclage surgery. I had to cancel 5 classes. But you know what. Everyone was more concerned about my health. I'm sure your colleagues will understand. And even if they don't.... F them.

I hope you feel better C. I hate that you are in all that physical pain. Hugs.

I agree 100% with B! Take it easy. And let your bosses know that maybe you need to lighten your work load.

SunMoon&Stars · April 2011

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} Hang in there, hon.

Want a personalized experience?

I've hit a wall...(kind of long)

Re: I've hit a wall...(kind of long)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards