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Cincinnati Babies
I'm getting desperate (re: sleep/nap time)
It has come to me driving around to get DS to go to sleep during the day for naps. At night, I nurse him to sleep around 6 and then I go back upstairs at least every hour to nurse him back to sleep. I know I have posted about this before, but last night I felt like I was at my breaking point. I just don't know what to do! You have all given me great advice, and I have tried everything, but nothing is working. He'll be 5 months old on May 3rd, is he too young to sleep train? I just want some opinions, and at this point, will it even work? He is totally the boss now and he knows it.
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Re: I'm getting desperate (re: sleep/nap time)
I don't feel qualified to give much advice because I FF, so I don't know what to say about BF.
We swaddle DD and have since we brought her home from the hospital. She just turned 5 months on the 18th. It helps her sleep for long stretches of time. She has just now started to get out of it, so we'll see how/if her sleep habits change. Her typical night is as simple as getting her diaper changed/jammies on, then she eats her bottle, burps (stays upright for 10 minutes), then we swaddle her, I rock her, then lay her down. Sometimes she wakes up and I'll either rock her some more, or give her a pacifier.
I think 5 months is a little too young to sleep train. But that's just my opinion.
I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. I love my sleep, and I'm a bear when I don't get it! The first 6 months were always the hardest for me. I hope some other posters can give you advice! Hang in there:)
ETA: so you can get some sleep!!! so sorry friend! Call me if you need anything please!!!
Have you decided when you are going to start solids? I ask, but, so far, it hasn't made a lick of difference for W. J loved his sleep and was very consistent, early on; however, he was also on formula (almost exclusively) from 2 months on. I still swear that makes a big difference, since formula takes longer to digest. That said, I'm SO not looking forward to sleep training with W. I don't anticipate the same "quick" successes.
Sorry, I'm not much help, as we are in the same sleepless boat.
I've been thinking about you and this problem actually. I just started reading Solve your child's sleep problems. While I'm not sure we'll do full on sleep training, there is a lot of good information on sleep patterns in general. So, you may find it to be a worthwhile read even if you aren't ready to sleep train yet.
We have to do something before I go out of town for work in a few weeks, because DH sure can't nurse her back to sleep. He's gone this week, so I'm trying really hard not to offer her the breast every time she wakes up. Last night I was pretty successful and she only ate twice in 12 hours as opposed to the normal 4-6.
This made me think, you might want to try giving him formula for last feeding, he may sleep longer!
I'm so sorry you're struggling with sleep. Three to four months was the roughest age (so far) for us. I even called the pedi, not because they could help, but just because I was sooo tired.
We EBF, but we started giving LO a bottle (of EBM) for overnight feedings. We discovered that he wasn't really eating - an oz. every few hours - so I started offering a pacifier instead of the bottle. You could also start offering smaller quantities of milk or formula to slowly wean him off the nighttime feedings.
The next step for us was not picking up LO after the nighttime routine was finished. We would stand by his crib and rub his belly, talk softly, but not pick him back up.
As for sleep training, I don't think it's the age of the LO that matters as much as if they can self-soothe. Around four and half months, DS found his thumb and started putting himself back sleep during the night. After that, we were comfortable with giving him five to ten minutes to calm himself back down.
Hope some of that helps!
FWIW, we didn't nap consistently until ~7-8 mos. But, B did STTN fairly early on. I really do attribute it to the fact that I EP'd and he was bottled fed. It might be worth experimenting with a bottle at night, just to see if it helps. Consistency with the bedtime routine also really helps. GL
Ugh, your post brings back horrid memories for me. That first year, I was a shell of myself.
You will get so many different views on sleep training. Some say 5 months is too early, some (including one of my pedis) said to go ahead at 3 months. At this point, I would definitely be open to trying sleep training. Definitely not CIO, and maybe not Ferber, but I would be inclined to try SOMETHING. I know how desperate you must be feeling. Have you looked into the no-cry sleep solutions? I know some people on this board have used them with success.
And I agree with Jen about the bed time. Have you tried making it later?
I would also give him a bottle during the night to see how much he is actually eating. I wonder if he is just comfort sucking? Every hour nursing through the night seems extreme. He can't be that hungry. Does he use a pacifier? Maybe to help cut back on the overnight feedings, you can just pick him up and rock him and see if he will go back to sleep without eating.
As for naps, Katelyn stopped napping around 6 months and didn't start up again until a year old when she moved in the 1 year old room at daycare and they had a schedule for the day that included a nap. From 6-12 months, she would just scream the entire time, so I didn't even try naps anymore. And she hates the car, so driving around was never an option for me. I guess my advice would be to start a schedule (which you probably already do) to make sure nap time is consistent. Will he nap in a swing?
I am so sorry you are going through this. It WILL get better. Just hang in there and he will get it. I swear when Katelyn started sleeping through the night, it all of the sudden just happened. LIke something clicked for her. One night she was up 5-6 times, the next 0 and she hasn't looked back! GL!
You're bringing back bad memories for me! DD did not nap unless held, and even then they were short. It took until about 6 months before she would let me lay her down, one day it just clicked for her. Until then I just made do and did what I had to to get her to nap as much of a PITA as it was. Keep trying off and on though to lay LO down after after falling asleep.
As for night wakings, 5 months is too early for CIO, I don't think they're old enough to get it yet. I would look into something though like No Cry Sleep Solution, something that does not involve CIO in any form. It still may not work at this age, but might be at least give you some suggestions to try.
I don't know if you cosleep, but that was honestly the only way DD would get any sleep at all (and me as well). I NEVER thought I would cosleep, I was adamantly against it, but DD slept as bad, if not worse than your DD. It is something to try though. It made a huge difference in the amount of sleep I got even though she was still up a huge portion of the night. We had no problems moving from cosleeping to sleeping independently once she decided she was ready to accept sleep training and sleep on her own. She now STTN most nights in her crib. GL!
I have started giving a little bit of rice cereal at his 4pm feeding mixed with about 2 oz BM. I have noticed a difference in his sleep, but not starting until about midnight. He'll now sleep from about 12-3 and then again 330-6. A big improvement! I just started on Saturday. Maybe when I bump it up to twice a day he will sleep better from 6pm-midnight.
Thanks Maggie- I actually read this last night between him waking up and tried to soothe him before nursing right away. It did work once, I picked him up and rocked him back to sleep, he stopped crying and I laid him back down. He only slept for about 15 minutes after that, but I honestly think it's the first time he has fallen back asleep without nursing. I hope it works out for you! Maybe since you won't be there, it will be easier for her to go back to sleep. Sometimes I think that when Mason sees me or knows I'm around, he wants to nurse immediately.
I have tried to put him down later, but it doesn't seem to help. Sometimes it seems to make things worse because he's over-tired. It's so difficult to know because his sleep pattern is so random. Sometimes when I put him down at 6 he will wake every hour to nurse, sometimes he'll wake around 7-730 and won't go back to sleep until 9ish. It just depends on the night, I keep the same routine but he just has no consistancy. Maybe trying to push it back 15 minutes or so every night might help...
I don't have any BM stored up, but I would love to try this. I'm a little worried because he's so picky about taking a bottle. I'm just worried that I would pump, then he wouldn't take a bottle, and I wouldn't have any milk to nurse with. I guess it's worth a shot though, I will try anything at this point!
That is exactly how I feel- a shell! I was at dinner with some friends last night and at one point I found myself babbling random thoughts. It may have something to do with little adult interaction during the day, but that coupled with very little sleep, I don't feel like myself at all!
It makes me feel better to know that things WILL get better. I am willing to wait months, as long as I have that light at the end of the tunnel.
I have read a few books, including "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and I have tried implementing some of the techniques- but like I said before, he's so random that it's tough to know what is really working.
As far as naps- he does take a really good nap, in my bed, from 9am-11am every morning. I am happy with that, but in the afternoon, by about 2pm, he starts getting absolutely miserable and cant get to sleep. I nurse him to sleep at 9am, but it doesn't work in the afternoon. That's why I resort to driving around. I'm hoping that he will eventually just get it and things will click for him. I don't even mind if it takes 6 more months! Thanks for the advice and experience, it gives me some hope!
I always think about you when it comes to DS's sleep problems. I know you just recently got your DD to STTN and that gives me hope! I do cosleep, I can't imagine trying to get him into his crib at this point. He won't even fall asleep in my arms, he needs to be laying down in my bed and nursing to fall asleep. I am eager to get him into his crib, but for now the only way to get any sleep at all is cosleeping.