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Preemies
Introduction (not quite a preemie but in the NICU) :(
Hi there,
I am not sure if I should post here for not because my sweet baby girl was delivered by emergency c-section because she was in distress (I didn't go into labor) last Wed (4/20) at 37 weeks. So not a preemie technically. But she's been in the NICU since she was born and it's really hard for me. I'm still in the hospital and it's hard watching the other parents with their babies in their rooms and I am here without her, calling the NICU to check on her and going upstairs to peek into her isollete. I got to hold her yesterday and it was amazing but all last night all I could think about is how wonderful it felt to have her in my arms and how much I miss her. Today the nurse said she can't be picked up because her breathing is too fast today. God, it so hard to look at her with all the tubes and not be able to comfort her.
I know most of you have it much worse and I almost feel guilty for feeling so sad that I can't hold her when I know she'll only be in the NICU for another 1-2 weeks. I am just trying to focus on my pumping and I was so happy yesterday when they started giving her a small amount of my colostrum through her tube every 4 hours. I am being discharged from the hospital tomorrow and not looking forward to going home without her.
Any advice? My doctor put me on Lexipro the day after she was born because I was at high risk for ppd without all the unexpected difficulties so maybe I will be able to cope better once that starts to kick in.
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Re: Introduction (not quite a preemie but in the NICU) :(
after lo was born i had to stay in the hospital for a extra week because of my blood pressure. there where days where they wouldnt let me get out of bed to go see him, so i understand where your coming from its hard. once i was out of the hospital though my husband dropped me off before he went to work so i got to hang out with him for like 10-12 hours a day. its was hard my suggestion is make sure you have someone there for you, my hubby was there for me the whole time.
Welcome and congrats on your little girl! My son was born at 35 weeks and I struggled with many of the same feelings you have- not feeling like I belong or guilty that our situation wasn't so bad in comparison. I look at it this way though, it's not a competition for who had the earliest baby, or longest NICU stay. Everyone who deals with the NICU needs support. It's difficult, scary and not what you expected. Dealing with that means you belong here as much as anyone!
I think you'll find everyone here to be really supportive and caring. I hope you stay in the NICU is short and you get your little one home very soon. FWIW, I dealt with PPD after my complications as well. Lexapro really helped me. Best of luck!
Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
This is perfectly said. Please post here as much as you want. I hope you LO improves and can go home soon!
All the PP's put it perfectly - welcome and congratulations!
It's been a couple days since you made this post - how are you doing? How is LO? How are the meds (remember that it might be bumpy as you adjust to them)?
Thank you everyone for your kind words!
LO is getting better everyday but it's been up and down emotionally for me. The first night home from the hospital was the hardest and it's not been easy on my body. I keep opening up my c-section wound and my OB has to keep gluing it back. Thankfully she has been really sweet and not too hard on me as she understand I need to go back and forth from the hospital. I've been on the meds for only a few days but it really makes me feel better knowing I'm on them and that I probably won't drop into real depression.
It's crazy how much my mood is dependent on how LO is doing that day. If she is doing well I am so happy and vice versa. Thank God the NICU nurses are understanding and take the time to explain everything to me again and again. I feel the more I know the better I can process everything. I just love her so much! I'm still pumping like a mad woman and counting the days til I can have her home with us!
Again, thank you for your very sweet replies.
Hey,
I am so sorry you are going through this
My baby was not a preemie either. He was born via emergency c-section at 40 weeks and 6 days after being induced and in labor for 30 hours. He went into distress and needed csection. See my siggy for all that went wrong. He ended up in the NICU for 17 days. I had to wait until he was five days old to hold him, too!
I post here on occasion and I lurk here all the time. I think it is a good board for any parent with a baby in the NICU. A majority are preemie moms but some are like me and you too with full term babies. Either way, we are all going through a really hard time with our baby.
I wasnt offered any meds from my doctor but when LO was about three months old I went on Zoloft for about two months. I am off it now.
My only advice it to try to stay strong for LO but dont be afraid to breakdown and cry either. I feel like I held everything in and that it why I got worse as time went on. I think if I would have dealt with my feelings while they were happening I wouldnt be such and overprotective, PTSD, PPA, psycho freak!
My LO is now six months old and doing wonderful! I am getting better too. I think that it will definately take time for you to heal too. It is a very traumatic experience.
Feel free to PM me if you want to.
T&P are with you and your family.