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March 2011 Moms
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XP: NBR: family drama

soontobehimessoontobehimes
in March 2011 Moms

I just need to vent/get some advice.

I posted a while back about how my FIL left my MIL very suddenly. My husband's family was always very close (like mine), so this was a very hard thing for my husband to deal with. Ever since he left, he's called my husband a handful of times. He wasn't there when our LO was born and has seen her twice for about 10 minutes each time. We all knew something was going on with him (another woman) but we couldn't put our finger on it or get him to admit it. Yesterday, my MIL got word of a post on an internet site of my FIL. We looked it up, and it's him.. with his penis out.. asking for a good time basically. We are all in shock!!!

I don't know what to say to my husband or what to think. I actually can't stop thinking about it. He disgusts me to no end. I do not even want him to SEE my daughter ever again because I'm so disgusted.

I just need some advice on how to handle this on MY part!

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Re: XP: NBR: family drama

  • 1Mrs.Jones1Mrs.Jones

    Ewww I would be completely disgusted as well. And right there with you on not wanting him to see Kindle. What was he like in the past? How old is he? Could he be losing it a little?

    I guess all you can do for your DH is listen if he wants to talk (although he might be too wierded out to know what to say). I know you posted before about your MIL & DH being annoying after LO came along- I guess I would give them a little extra understanding & grace without becoming a doormat.

    You probably don't have to worry to much about him being around your LO because it sounds like he hasn't made much of an effort thus far. It should be fairly easy to avoid him if he's barely coming around as it is.

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  • soontobehimessoontobehimes
    imageDina Lynn (Jesse's Girl):

    Ewww I would be completely disgusted as well. And right there with you on not wanting him to see Kindle. What was he like in the past? How old is he? Could he be losing it a little?

    I guess all you can do for your DH is listen if he wants to talk (although he might be too wierded out to know what to say). I know you posted before about your MIL & DH being annoying after LO came along- I guess I would give them a little extra understanding & grace without becoming a doormat.

    You probably don't have to worry to much about him being around your LO because it sounds like he hasn't made much of an effort thus far. It should be fairly easy to avoid him if he's barely coming around as it is.

    I didn't really get along with him before all of this because I thought he was a chauvanist pig. He's 50 and is quite possibly going through a mid life crisis. My relationship with my MIL is back to how it was before (very good), so I am definitely supporting her 100% now.

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  • TwinkzTwinkz

    Wow. I can't imagine what your husband and MIL are going through. If I were in your shoes, I would try to talk to DH. While you're disgusted, I'm sure it's much harder on him.

    As far as him not seeing your daughter, I'd try not to let this behavior ruin a possible relationship. There are a lot of behaviors in my family that I don't support, DH has a history of behaviors I would never support, but those behaviors don't effect how they behave all the time.

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  • mrsbmw09mrsbmw09
    imageTwinkz:

    Wow. I can't imagine what your husband and MIL are going through. If I were in your shoes, I would try to talk to DH. While you're disgusted, I'm sure it's much harder on him.

    As far as him not seeing your daughter, I'd try not to let this behavior ruin a possible relationship. There are a lot of behaviors in my family that I don't support, DH has a history of behaviors I would never support, but those behaviors don't effect how they behave all the time.

    This. I would just be supportive and try to stay out of it as much as possible. I'm sure they don't want to hear you talking about it, so I would stay quiet unless they bring it up first. As grossed out as you are, this has got to be harder on the two of them.

    I wouldn't prevent FIL from seeing LO. His behavior is his personal life and it shouldn't change his relationship with LO.

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  • 1Mrs.Jones1Mrs.Jones
    imagesoontobehimes:
    imageDina Lynn (Jesse's Girl):

    Ewww I would be completely disgusted as well. And right there with you on not wanting him to see Kindle. What was he like in the past? How old is he? Could he be losing it a little?

    I guess all you can do for your DH is listen if he wants to talk (although he might be too wierded out to know what to say). I know you posted before about your MIL & DH being annoying after LO came along- I guess I would give them a little extra understanding & grace without becoming a doormat.

    You probably don't have to worry to much about him being around your LO because it sounds like he hasn't made much of an effort thus far. It should be fairly easy to avoid him if he's barely coming around as it is.

    I didn't really get along with him before all of this because I thought he was a chauvanist pig. He's 50 and is quite possibly going through a mid life crisis. My relationship with my MIL is back to how it was before (very good), so I am definitely supporting her 100% now.

    I'm glad things are good w/ your MIL again! Maybe it is harsh when I say I wouldn't want him around my daughter either - it just sounds like he is making such bad decisions. I would never leave him alone with my daughter at least- I'm not implying that he would do anything, I just have some family members that I think have very poor judgement, and I wouldn't let them alone with mackenzie because I wouldn't want them to make a safety mistake due to their lack of judgment.

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