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Explaining to friends

Debra4869Debra4869 member
in Trouble TTC

Hi - I don't want this to turn into a rant, but I was actually hopeful someone might have some helpful advice. I decided to open up to a few friends recently about my TTC, surgery and m/c. Until then, we have kept TTC a total secret. One of my friends took it so well and was so supportive, sweet and understanding. My other friend basically said EVERY wrong things possible. I am not good with words when I get emotional and I am still emotional about my recent m/c. It's also been an emotional ride to go through my surgery. It has just been a lot all at once.

I was trying to put into words how difficult it is to go through something like that and how no one can possible understand what it is like, but I just got emotional, upset and frustrated .... and made no sense. My friend basically yelled at me for keeping TTC a secret (According to her, I should have opened up sooner to receive support from my friends) and basically said everyone goes through hard times and what I am going through is really no different than anyone elses struggles. I walked away feeling like crap for opening up in the first place and frustrated that I could not put into words what I wanted to say. I truly feel that some of you on here who have been TTC for awhile or who have had a m/c know what it is like. The feelings of trying so hard and the fear of not succeeding. And worse, finally getting that BFP and then losing it so quickly. It truly is a loss that is so hard to explain. Has anyone found a way to explain these feelings to friends or family that totally do NOT get it? Any advice? I want to open up to more friends, but this experience scared me and made me feel like everyone is just going to say the wrong thing....

 

BabyFruit Ticker

Pregnant with Baby #3
CP#1: March 2011
BFP: June 2011; DD born Feb 2012!
CP#2: February 2013
BFP: March 2013; DS born Nov 2013!
Baby #3 due: August 15, 2017


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Re: Explaining to friends

  • kasey9kahnekasey9kahne member
    I feel like we have the same history since I went through my chemical pg at the same time you did.  I haven't opened up to very many people about it.  I still can't bring myself to tell any of my family.  I have only been able to tell 2 people at work.  One because I was crying at work when I found out my beta number had fallen and the other because she helped watch my class while I went to go get the b/w done.  Both of them really did not know what to say other than they were sorry.  I really don't want people to feel sorry for me so I have kept it quiet with everyone else.  You are definately not alone.  I feel the same way about explaining the loss of something that was barely there for a minute.
    <a href="http://s1093.photobucket.com/albums/i430/jen9kahne/?action=view
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  • b2b999b2b999

    I completely understand where you are coming from, I can't talk to any of my IRL friends about my ttc journey or our loss, they do not understand.  My one friend that went through TTC got pregnant at the same time I was getting my BFP, and made her announcement about 2 weeks after my loss. Her pregnancy was really hard on me as she was only 4 weeks behind, and it was all the harder because it seemed that the second she got ktfu she completely forgot the difficulties of ttc and actually was crueler then anyone else.

    For example on my edd, after i posted something on my fb, she posted a bunch of random belly shots and talked about how she hoped her baby would come early as she was so done being pregnant. I blocked her the same day.

     

    TTC since July 2009 ^Rosemary^ May 7, 2010 Holding my rainbow, Beatrix, since August 21, 2012
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