so my 20 week u/s is scheduled for next week, and we were set to be team green. But now I'm having second thoughts. How the hell do you tell them you don't want to know when it's right in front of you?!
The funny thing is, Joey wanted to find out, then I convinced him to wait, and now I'm the one wavering. My "defense" is that it will help prepare Caroline better if she knows she's getting a brother or a sister. Ha!
Re: I'm wavering on "Team Green"
Stay Strong Josie! I didn't want to find out when I was carrying Amiri. Mainly because I already had a boy and a girl. DH wanted to find out but he stayed strong too... he peeped the ultrasound and tried to guess and kept it to himself but he cried when he Amiri was born. And note.. I had an ultrasound every month!!! It got easier to not want to know.
I wish all my pregnancies were a surprise. It was fun and exciting. Else for preparing.. it is nothing wrong with gender neutral colors... get some gift cards to so when baby is born you can go crazy with pink or blue
this wife bakes.
One of my favorite cakes ever! I had a blast making this..all handmade with buttercream suds!!!!
I don't know, I don't have any iron-clad reasons for not finding out... I just thought it would be kind of fun for this one to be a surprise.
And yeah, I already have the nursery planned out, and it's pretty gender neutral. I'm not too worried about clothes... gender neutral stuff looks more boyish to me anyway, and we have enough baby girl clothes to dress triplets... so no worries there.
GAH!
I'm no help either if you want someone to convince you to wait because I MUST know.
Really, though, if you're unsure then tell them to write it down on a piece of paper but not to tell you. Then you can give yourself a little more time - pick a deadline - and if you haven't died of curiosity by then, then just don't find out until the baby arrives. I have friends who did this and expected they'd open the envelope at Christmas, but when that didn't happen they just kinda kept going and never opened the envelope - until after the baby was born, just to be sure it was right!
Mommy to Abigail Elizabeth (11/4/11) and Brady Jasper (7/2/09)
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Well, I say just go with the flow. The anxiety of having the u/s is probably what is making you crazy more than anything, you know? If you get there and decide you want to find out then just do it. But maybe just seeing the baby will be excitement enough and it will reinforce your plan of not finding out, you know? And anyway, if you don't find out then and change your mind later you can always find out at another appointment!
But, I will say I have enjoyed how several of my friends have done the gender reveal showers. Have the tech put the results in a sealed envelope and plan a surprise party. One of my friends went to a local boutique and picked out one girl and one boy outfit and had the sales girl take the outfits in the back and wrap up whichever one she was having. Another friend had a baker tint the inside of a cake blue or pink and they found out when they cut into the cake. They also had everybody dress in either blue or pink depending on what they thought the baby was going to be.
I think that made finding out a little more exciting than just having the tech say it while you're on the table, kwim?
OMG, I was the same way. I could not imagine never being a mommy to a little boy. It wasn't that I was disappointed Tess was a girl, I just grieved the little things that come to mind when you think about having a son. I felt like a monster for feeling that way. But let me assure you, when I held that tiny pink princess in my arms for the first thing, she felt so right and so perfect, it was ALL good!
We didn't find out with Alec and it was the best surpise ever. I'm so glad we didn't find out. When we had our big u/s, they never showed us the 'parts'. I had about 12 u/s's and never found out.
I did find out with Aerin but that was because I learned I would have to be knocked out for my c-section and that would mean DH would know 45 mins before I did.
If you do want the surprise baby, stay strong:) you can always have them write it on a slip of paper and you guys could lock it away.
Not finding out was one of the best things we ever decided - I can't tell you how awesome it was to hear the sex *and* have your baby at the same time!
Also, speaking from hindsight, it made NO difference not finding out. If you're already leaning toward gender neutral decor, then you have no reason to know. Good luck staying strong!
I'm a huge planner. In fact, it is what I do for a living. I had a nursery ready to go at 21 weeks for my first. That being said, I did not find out the sex either time and it was wonderful. Planning wise, I think it is even easier to not find out the second time. The second baby had a pack n' play and a box of clothes to come home to and we figure out the rest over the first few weeks.
I can understand the disappointment thing and it can be difficult at the delivery. Both times I was a little sad that I didn't have a girl, but the surprise was still one of the best parts of the delivery. My husband will get teary talking about getting the opportunity to walk out and tell the family the news. He would not trade that moment for anything.
I am SO excited to find out in about 3 weeks what our baby will be! We are Team Green and I had quite a few ultrasounds and even a CVS so I could have found out the gender very early. It was really no sweat for us. I don't even really have a hunch... The nursery is a green I probably would have selected even if I know... pink and blue really aren't for me. But I also think not knowing has helped me save a ton of $$ by not overspending and buying way too much. And FWIW I am a planner, list maker, type A.. this is so relaxing...
My Finn also was adamant it was a girl.......
Abigail Taylor 09.18.2008
I loved reading all of the replies but I am no help either because I found out with both pregnancies. For me, finding out helped me feel a connection and start that bonding. I am not one of those folks that enjoyed being pregnant and finding out the gender helped. I think if you can wait you will be happily surprised like the others mentioned.
When we chatted a few weeks ago you seemed so confident that you would wait. You can do it Josie!
I felt the exact same thing when I was pregnant with Taylor! I kind of wanted another girl because I loved Caroline so much, but then I also thought it would be nice to have one of each. When I found out I was having a boy my mind just made a switch and I was so excited about having a little boy. So I think it's totally normal to feel like that and no matter when you find out you will love he/she so much and it won't even matter.
But as far as helping you wait - I am NO help! I found out with both at 16 weeks. There is no way I could have waited!
I'm having my ultrasound on Thursday (I'm 18 weeks). It's taking everything I have to make sure to keep saying, "Don't tell me!" This second time around has me really wanting to know. But Rob's being super firm, so that keeps me strong.
Good luck!!
my hubby found out and i didn't. HUGE mistake because even though i didn't know, he really pretty much gave it away by stuff he would say. he only wanted to know because he has a set of twin boys already.
this was my first and a lot of parents (according to pedi) don't want to know the first but really want to know the ones that follow.
it was easy for me. even viewing the ultras, just make sure you tell them and they will let you view until they are ready to explore the genital area. and then you close your eyes. you must tell them beforehand or they might slip and say the gender.
at 20, it's not that easy for YOU to see but they can tell. i will say that at the VERY end, when you can pretty much see every other feature, it will kinda get harder not to know. also EVERYBODY ASKS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHAT THE SEX IS AND EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO BUY IS PINK OR BLUE, ETC. but keep the faith!!!