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2nd Trimester
Not loving pregnancy?
My husband and I tried for 9 months to get pregnant and finally succeeded, much to be dismayed by a loss very early on. We immediately tried and became pregnant immediately following our loss. At first I was ecstatic, it seemed to have taken so long and I was thrilled to be have gotten pregnant without too much help from the doctors. I was very concerned it would take years and many treatments to conceive due to family history.
24 weeks in and I'm miserable half of the time. I thought I was supposed to love this experience and find incredible joy in the 10 months or so of pregnancy. In reality, I'm tired and exhausted all the time, I cry almost daily, I hate the shape my body is taking, I can't stand finding anything to wear, my moods seem irrationally high and low, and I truly miss all of my pre-pregnancy activities.
I can't stand seeing photos on Facebook of ALL of my friends who adore being pregnant, love their growing belly, smile and grin as if this is the best time of their life.
Am I alone? Am I crazy for feeling like this isn't easy, isn't fun, isn't enjoyable and has me feeling like I'm a teenager all over again, only worse?.....
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Re: Not loving pregnancy?
I am with you. I don't find it fun either. I love my baby but I really want my body back.
I can't wait to have him or her here so that this part is over with. I can't believe that I have to muster up the fortitude to myself through this again.
Oct 2011 Blog: Pumpkin Patch
You're not alone, I've seen other ladies post threads similar to this. Not everyone has the same experiences. Being pregnant and expecting a baby is life changing add hormones and you've got a great combination.
Hang in there you'll be holding your little one in a few months and I bet you'll forget about these awful moments.
Married October 16th, 2010
TTC #1 since October 2010
1st BFP 1-12-11
MC'd 1-22-11
2nd BFP 2-15-11
Our Wee One....**KENNEDY JO** born 10/3/11@ 36weeks via Csection
My BFP Chart
Labor Buddy to **MRS.ATCH** Welcome Quinn 11-5-11**
You are not alone. I think pregnancy is pretty awful and yet here I am doing it again. There is really not much I like about pregnancy, but the baby at the end makes it all worth while. Even though I really dislike being pregnant, I am thankful that I am and look forward to the end result. And even though I'm miserable, I'm pretty sure I want to do it again (because I want another baby, not because I'll miss being pregnant).
I don't think anyone actually LIKES gaining weight,skin color changes, acne, morning sickness, and anything else that has come our way BUT the end result makes up for it. I would mention to your doctor how you feel and try to do one nice thing for yourself a week or something. I know for me a nice walk with my husband and dog outside makes me smile and appreciate being a family. I may not be up for much after that since it takes a lot out of me but it makes me feel good. Go out and shop for the little one, pick out his/her nursery things. Anything to give you positivity. Good luck and know from PP you are not alone. We're all coping with this little cute invader(s) together.
I feel the same way! I know getting pg was the right decision for my husband and me (this was planned). but I have yet to feel elated about the pregnancy.
At the very least, I'm happy I do not feel regret. However, I still wish I could enjoy this process more.
I think there's a few reasons. I know this sounds weird, but I've never been much of a "kid preson". To this day I still I perfer fussing over puppies, rather than babies. I thought this would somehow change once I got pg, but I have yet to experience those feelings.
I too miss all of my pre-pg activities!!! As much as I prepared myself for a hiatus from many of my favorite things, I still feel pretty down sometimes. Not "woe-as-me", but just kind of empty and isolated. I've always been driven and highly productive and social and its frustrating to pass up on professional/ social opportunities that are not compatible with pg.
Oh, not to mention I feel so selfish for having these feelings!!!!
I'm grateful that I am pg and that all is well and my baby is healthy so far!
Not to mention, my husband, family and friends could not be more supportive.
Ugh, what's wrong with me?!!?!!!
The only truly fun part of pregnancy, imo, is feeling the baby kick.
However, don't wish it away.
As weird as it sounds now, you'll miss it someday. It's such a bizarre and brief time in your life. I know it feels like it will go on forever right now, but soon you'll be thinking back wistfully about that "special" time when you carried your baby inside of you.
I think this is a great post and is something that should be talked about more openly.
I'm 18 weeks along and I thought my dislike for being pregnant had to do with not feeling the baby kick yet or not knowing teh sex and not feeling that connection. But I'm the type of person that likes being active, a succesful career woman, staying in shape, dressing well, being social, and enjoys life! Personally, being pregnant has put a halt on a lot of those things.
Being pregnant shouldn't define us and unfortunatley, the second you tell someone you are pregnant, they instantaly label you and constantly ask how you are feeling. I feel coddled most of the time and if I do things I used to enjoy doing, somehow people assume I'm pushing myself too far. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage so I am thrilled to be having a baby, but 9+ months of this is harder than anything I could ever imagine. I try and stay positive around friends that are trying, but I can't be happy go lucky ALL the time, so I'm grateful this post has allowed me to express my feelings.
The women who judge the most? The out of shape stay at home moms that don't have much support from their partners and expect every other mom to stay fat, stay at home and revolve their world around their babies.
As for your emotions, I don't agree it's pregnany depression. While post partum should be taken very seriously, your body is being affected by tons of hormones. The fact that you are openly talking about it is healthy and positive!
So do not feel alone. There are lots of us out there!
Wow.
...and this is from a part time working Mom with a supportive husband who doesn't consider herself fat. lol
This is about where I am at! The migraines are a major major pain. I am happy to be pregnant but my body changing is a little upsetting but its true, I think we will all feel better once our LO's are here and we can work out and go back to most of our regular activities before our pregnancy's
hang in there!
Me too. I hate being pregnant. I am 5'4" and have a short torso, so I show pretty quickly and everything goes straight out...which in turn kills my back. Ugh. Right now it sucks, but after the baby is here, it's all worth it. Take it from me! I'm pregnant with baby #2. haha
Hang in there!!
You are not alone. I feel sick and tired all the time and have insomnia on top of it. I actually do not feel quite as bad as I did my first pregnancy but still not ideal. I will say that I felt better almost instantly after giving birth to my son. Within an hour of having him the nausea I had had for 9 months went away and I loved being the mom of a newborn. It was worth it - here I am doing it again.
If you are worried about your feelings, talk to your Dr. Pregnancy depression is real.
I hate being pregnant too.
Not only do I have all the crazy pregnancy hormones, but my doctor took me off my anti-anxiety/depressant and my husband is deploying shortly (he will not be home in time for the birth). The combination of all of those emotional things plus the just plain crummy pregnancy feeling, has really gotten me down in the dumps.
I bought this book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Sucks-Miracle-Makes-Miserable/dp/B000EHTAZA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1303768988&sr=8-1 and it has made me laugh. It doesn't "cure" the pregnancy blues but it sure helps me to see that i'm not crazy for feeling the way I do. It's a super basic pregnancy guide but its not all "YAY BABY! Now be excited to be constipated/get hemorrhoids/puke over smells".
I know the way i'm feeling now though will really need to be watched after the birth. You should keep that in mind too just in case it doesnt go away!
I hate being pregnant....and I hate women who say the love/miss being pregnant even more!!!! I'm 22 weeks and still have m/s all the time, can't get comfortable, exhausted. Where is all this energy you are supposed to have in the 2nd trimester!?!?
Not to say I am not happy I got pregnant and that we have a healthy baby girl cooking.
I am 37 years old and pregnant with my first. It also took DH and I 9 months to get pregnant. At first I was so excited and I couldn't have been more thankful to conceive "au natural." [We have many friends who are having problems TTC and they are 5+ years younger than DH and I]
I must say that I've had a VERY easy pregnancy up to this point (no morning sickness, etc.). So far I haven't skipped a beat and, except for decreased/modified exercise, life has continued as it did before. But, at the end of my first trimester, I began to freak out about the weight gain. I have always kept trim and fit and started below "normal BMI" pre-pregnancy. Even though I know the weight gain is for my precious baby, I have MAJOR body image issues. I am approaching 24 weeks and most people still say they can barely tell I'm pregnant...well, I've put on almost 20 lbs and I CAN TELL! My DH says I am beautiful and he is very supportive. So, even more so it makes me feel incredibly guilty and selfish to have these feelings, but they are there nonetheless.
Now that we can feel the baby moving and fun events are coming up (baby shower, childbirth class, etc.), I hope I can shift focus away from my body image and be happier.
This was my long answer to your question! Girl, you are SO not alone on this one.
Max born July 25
Big sisters Alex and Layla
This totally! I have to go see a neurologist because I have been getting so sick from the migraines. I feel like death 99% of the time. I am excited to be pregnant but walking up every day feeling hungover sucks! Being in that stage where I am not sure if people know I am pregnant or just think I have a beer gut can suck too.
Hang in there it's normal for woman to get the blues while pregnant or get really scared for their new life. Once you hold that new baby of yours I am sure it will all go away.
Wow, I can't thank everyone enough for your responses. I agree that I don't think this type of emotion is shared enough. I so often feel guilty and selfish for having feelings of frustration - it's extremely comforting to hear my feelings echoed in this community.
I did discuss depression with my doctor and my husband and went on medication for several weeks but felt more negative side effects than benefits and ultimately decided that it was not worth the risk.
Any other suggestions from members with finding the positives? I feel like I've tried to do things to lift my mood and spirit - and have taken time to pamper myself and shop for baby. But I still can't help but get frustrated not being able to work out as I used to, put in the hours at work I'd like, look forward to outdoor adventures with my husband and nights out with the girls. I find I am dreading upcoming beach vacations and family trips.
I know come August my tune will change, but in the mean time, the past 6 months have felt like an eternity and the next four feel like a lifetime.
I can't thank you enough for your post! I was so excited about getting pregnant and now all I feel is miserable! My breasts are beyond painful, bad m/s, really bad acne, etc...And I feel guilty for not feeling more excited or happy. Everyone keeps saying "wait for the second trimester, you'll feel better!", and boy do I hope they're right! All I can think of though is how I hope January get's here quick! LOL
Thanks again for your post about this. Now I don't feel so alone!
This is a weird comment. Judgy and weird. I'm not a SAHM, nor do I fit into the other characterizations, but I'm kind of offended.