his last name or mine?

sharinfaith · April 2011

my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years, and i am having my first DD. we aren't married, and it doesn't look like we will be in the future. i was a little upset by this at first, but now it's a little fact of life. we both have extremely long last names, so hyphenating is out of the question. but, should i give her my last name, and have the same last name as my child? or by tradition, give her his last name, and risk never having the same last name as my child?

jennrenee09 · April 2011

i would give her you last name

nillian10 · April 2011

your last name.

KOscar · April 2011

I'd give her your last name.

eortman · April 2011

If it were me, I would give her my last name. If you don't forsee marry this man, it will be easier for you and her in the long run if your names are the same.

sleepingbeauty · April 2011

another option would be making her middle name one of your last names.

vanessa11411 · April 2011

I made the mistake of giving my 6 year old DD his name. I wish I would have stood my ground and gave her my last name.

Belichick · April 2011

Give her your last name. If things ever change between the two of you and you do get married you could change her name when you change your name.

MBNB · April 2011

Your last name

KrisM86 · April 2011

Your last name. If you were to get married in the future, you could always change her name then.

xtinaxmariex · April 2011

Yours. No ring, no name.

SugarQueen101 · April 2011

My sister was in a similar situation. My nephew has his father's name. It's just plain tradition. That's what I would do. Maybe you can let your last name be one of his middle names.

marriedtoeric · April 2011

Keep yours. If you split up, it's going to be a lot easier on both of you to have the same last name. If you end up getting married, change her last name then.

jupiterthecat · April 2011

Frankly, I think this is a sexist tradition to begin with, and I see no reason to inconvenience yourself just to honor it. If you're going to be the primary caregiver, I'd definitely give her your name. That said, this is one of those issues that you should decide on for yourself based on your personal values and the particulars of your situation.

SheLovesMrHip · April 2011

Yours...

animalcrckers · April 2011

definitely your last name!

WashingtonQueen · April 2011

Since you are not married and dont plan to be, you should definitely give her your last name.

Shauna615 · April 2011

I got pregnant with my 1st when my now husband and I weren't even together for 1 month. So because I didn't know how my situation was going to turn out, my DS got my last name. It wasn't without arguments and dirty looks from my in-laws. But we got married right before our DS turned 2 and the changed the name.

katie052409 · April 2011

xtinaxmariex:
Yours. No ring, no name.

THIS!!!!

Amya · April 2011

Your last name for sure.

Jen&Peter · April 2011

I cannot give you an answer as this has to be your decision in the end. What I can do is give you my experience. My mom and dad divorced when I was just shy of 4 years old. I had my dad's last name and my mom went back to her maiden name after the divorce. My dad was not in the picture much as he remarried and had 3 more kids with his new wife. I hated having a different last name as my mom. She was really the only parent in my life for the most part and it was difficult at times having a different last name.

If your situation changes in the future with the father, you can always change the baby's last name to his when and if you change your last name to his.

Want a personalized experience?

his last name or mine?

Re: his last name or mine?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards