holidays are hard (sig warning - pics + kids mentioned)

SoonToBeMrsDTS · April 2011

Today was our first holiday since we found out about the m/c and it has been such a hard day. It kind of came out of nowhere. I didn't expect it to be so hard. I thought it would just be an annoying day with the in-laws but instead I just felt awful. It started with church when our pastor was talking about the promise of death is that we will see our loved ones again someday. I know that is supposed to be comforting but it just reminded me that there are babies waiting for me that I will not get to see for a very, very long time (hopefully).

We went to brunch after church and all three tables closest to us had pregnant women in their cute maternity Easter dresses. I was just feel fat in my stupid pink dress that is a size up from what I usually wear because I haven't done crap since we lost the babies.

Then we took the kids to the park and there was a girl taking pictures of her twin babies under a tree. I just about lost it thinking how we should be getting our nursery ready for twins but instead we're still waiting out a few more cycles hoping for another healthy child. We saw two other pregnant women on the way back to our car. I think I might be the only woman of child-bearing age in my area who's not KU right now.

flybird1216 · April 2011

I know how you feel. Today was difficult seeing all the pregnant women at church and women with babies in the family. IIt seems like there is always a constant reminder of what we lost somewhere. But someday, we will get to experience the happiness and joy a new baby will bring. I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some comfort in venting here on the boards.

LIa0909 · April 2011

I know exactly what you mean. I honestly had it in my head that the whole thing would be just horrible so I had really low expectations. It was as terrible as it could have been, but I let my guard down when I walked into family Easter dinner and was cornered by a woman who I knew wouldn't say the right thing. The anger and bitterness it brought up made it difficult to get through the rest of dinner.

OleMissBride · April 2011

I had these same thoughts yesterday as we sat in church- I couldn't even watch the baptisim for fear of having a breakdown. I'm already dreading Halloween- it's right past when our due date should have been. I just hope that we're in a much better place when October rolls around- I hope you are as well.

hopeandlove0417 · April 2011

Ugh...the worst is when someone says "It was'nt meant to be" I had someone say that....ruined the rest of day and I still get angered when I think about it. Some people just don't get it.

I dread the next holiday........Mother's will be the absolute worst, I think I shall start hibernating now Crying

hopeandlove0417 · April 2011

Ugh...the worst is when someone says "It was'nt meant to be" I had someone say that....ruined the rest of day and I still get angered when I think about it. Some people just don't get it.

I dread the next holiday........Mother's day will be the absolute worst, I think I shall start hibernating now Crying

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holidays are hard (sig warning - pics + kids mentioned)

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