Why were you chosen?
My sister follows a lot of blogs and one is of a preemie mom. She had her sone 14 weeks early and he is doing great now. I thought I would share this with you... it's from her blog. I apologize if it has been posted before or if anyone here follows her blog and has already seen it. It just brought some happiness to my day and I thought other preemie moms would enjoy it too.
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Marjorie Forrest, daughter.Patron Saint, Celia.
Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
Re: Why were you chosen?
I've read this story before and cry everytime.
When I had Isla at 33w4d, we had tried to stop the labor to no avail. I sobbed in the antipartum unit knowing what was coming. A preemie and a NICU stay. That was certain. I had no clue what would be wrong with my baby once he/she arrived (Team Green here).
Once they pulled her out and yelled "It's a Girl!" I heard her cry then I cried. I was happy and I knew it was because of the drugs. I heard later that she was on room air and doing just fine. The next day it really hit me. No baby. Every 3 hours carts would roll past my room with tiny crying bundles for a more fortunate mother to hold. Every day there felt like an eternity. The minutes crept by and it gave me a great deal of time to think and be depressed. I asked myself why this happened. My first child was a NICU baby with severe breathing problems. Hadn't I done this already? Didn't we suffer enough? Why me again?
I thought it was because I didn't pray enough, I let stress get the better of me far too often. Then I thought it was because God must have thought I was selfish and needed to regain my focus on others before myself.
I tell myself that God tests those that He expects the most from. I would love to believe that my children are special. That my babies are meant for great things, otherwise, why would God test them so much so early in life? Surely they have some destiny that only He knows about.
I believe preemies make us focus on that things that truly matter and put aside our other worries that hold little value next to our children's lives.
This exactly. The story doesn't fit my personal theology but I am very thankful that our family has been the center of prayers literally all over the world. And I do think God is helping us learn to have the strength to be Cora's mom and dad.
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
That's such a wonderful way to put it, I love that!
Really nice. Made me smile.
aw
I definitely believe things happen for a reason!