Going back to work voluntarily?

snoopy0510 · April 2011

I've seen lots of posts about people dreading work. Is anyone else going back to work voluntarily? I'm feeling really guilty because I'm choosing to leave LO. I'd like him to have a SAHM but I don't want to be one so I'm very conflicted. But I just finished grad school and would actually like to use my degree, and even though we could live on DH's salary I will be making more than him with this job so it's hard to turn the money down... and honestly as great as DS is I'd like to do more with my day than play with him. But I think i might regret it! What are your situations?

MrsStreff · April 2011

i have to go back to work and i cry about it all the time. I never wanted to be a working mom.

ksyknelvr73 · April 2011

I can relate. I am going back to work voluntarily as well. We could technically live off DH's salary, but selfishly, I like the lifestyle we can maintain when I work full time also. I kind of would like to be able to work from home 1-2 days a week though, and I am probably going to ask if I can, but if they don't let me then oh well. I love DS with all my heart, but I never wanted to be a SAHM. I do feel guilty about putting him in daycare, I'd much rather he was being kept by a family member but we don't have that option.

magdalina.h · April 2011

I could be a sahm but I want our same lifestyle. I'm still dreading tomorrow though

sarag0116 · April 2011

I have always loved my job. I went to school for 7 years to get my doctorate degree and I have always felt that I wanted to make good use of it. I never planned to be a SAHM but knew I would want to cut down hours once we had kids. Cut to the present -- I do NOT want to go back to work. I feel that it's just too soon. Maybe when LO is 9 months or a year old, but at 3 months old, I just don't want to leave her. But we are better off financially if I do return, so I go back May 2nd.

amyk927 · April 2011

I went back to work 2 weeks ago...my schedule's a little bit reduced, but it will be back in full swing in a week. I like my job and love working...I get satisfaction in performing it and never planned or even thought about being a SAHM. I spent a lot of years, education, and money to get to this point. My situation is a little different, since we can afford for DH to stay with DD so I'm not leaving her at daycare or with a nanny, so she's still getting the benefit of a SAH parent, although I would still be going back regardless of what DH is doing with his career/school.

I was happy to go back to work and did not cry at all, which quite honestly makes me feel a tad bit guilty when I read others posts. I feel like my job gives my life a greater purpose...I appreciated that LO needed me exclusively for the first 8 weeks of her life and will always need me, but I was going stir crazy. I miss her and I'm sure I'll be jealous of the things that DH gets to do with her and see first, but I'm a better mother when I'm working because I am happier and doing what I want to do/need to do for myself.

mittensonkittens · April 2011

I choose to work, it isn't about the money. When DS1 was a baby it was hard to leave him, but once he was a toddler I could see how much fun he was having at daycare and it really eased the guilt. When I work I have balance in my life and I cherish the time I spend with my kids. At home with them all the time it is really easy to get burned out. At daycare the babies are cared for by sweet grandmas who are there doing nothing but taking care of babies. At home I would be doing housework and carting baby all around town in an attempt to stay sane, so I don't know if LO would get much more attention. When I work I can afford to pay someone to clean my house and do other things that give me more time with my family. And most importantly, working makes me happy and feel like I have balance in my life, and happy momma = happy baby. Everyone is different, and every family has different ways of making things work.

monkey_pants · April 2011

I'm choosing to go back to work (my first day back will be May 9th) because I love my job. I've been in jobs I've disliked and even hated before so I really don't want to leave a job I love, especially because I really feel as though I have a good career path ahead of me at my company. If I didn't like my job, I'd probably take a year off and then find another job.

BUT...at the same time, I'm totally dreading going back already. I know I'll get used to it eventually, but I know it's going to be so difficult for me. I'm so attached to DD and because she's EBF, I've never spent for than a couple of hours apart from her. And I think DH wishes I'd stay home because he feels guilty that we're going to leave her with a nanny (we haven't finished the hiring process yet -- yikes!). I'm going to miss her SO much but I'm reassured by the fact that if I'm really hating being away from her after a week or a month or six months or whenever, I can choose to quit. I actually think that knowing that will probably make it easier to be apart from her, if that makes any sense,

erbear · April 2011

ME! I couldn't wait to go back. I've been back for a week and it's been great. I never had any desire to be a SAHM and I'm a much much better mama when I'm working. I love my job and I'm good at it.

Honestly, I don't think kids need a SAHM. My mom worked and we turned out just fine. I think my older daughter is doing well in part because of daycare.

christyp80 · April 2011

I need to work for our family, financially, because I make a lot more than DH, but also I want to go back. And I feel selfish and guilty about wanting to go back! It's so hard being home with DD by myself everyday! I don't know if she's a tough baby or what, but I give huge props to moms who can stay home with their kids, because I would have a hard time with it. There are times when I feel like a good mom and get satisfaction out of what I'm doing with her, but there are also so many times when I feel like a huge failure (mostly with her lack of schedule and that she won't nap by herself for longer than like 30 minutes). I am excited to get back to something on a daily basis that I know I'm good at. And now I feel even more selfish and like a bad mommy for actually voicing these feelings. :-(

Autumn Bride 2007 · April 2011

I go back and forth between being excited about going back and sheer panic about going back. Luckily I am working from home most days and only starting back out PT. But there will be days I will need to go into the office for a few hours to do things. LO will be with either H or my sister on the days I go in, so that makes me feel a lot better. I also try to go out without her once a week to get the feel for it. I defintely think it makes it better that I can ease back into it and I dont need to jump into working 9-5 right away--and that flexibility is the ONLY reason I am even returning at all. (Plus I like the little extra $)

But I think the sadness about going back comes from a feeling of it all being "over". We're pregnant and anticipating it for 40 weeks and then we're in la la land for 3 more months being at home and then like that, it's over and real life begins again.

Meg4583 · April 2011

As much as I dreaded going back to work, I do know that I would not be able to stay home-- I love my job and I want to work. I'm not meant to be a SAHM. I was very happy though that I was able to go PT ( 2 days/wk) from FT ( 3 days/wk), which allows us to avoid daycare.

I started back this past weekend and I enjoyed myself actually. LO was home with DH which I was VERY worried about, but they both survived!

dee1369 · April 2011

I went back voluntarily. My DH says that I can stay home if I want - we were doing just fine on his salary - but I can't give up my job.

It wasn't hard at first, but now I hate it.

I'm sticking with it though - I need my insurance. And I do like what I do.

twirlyjack73 · April 2011

I wish!!!! I quit working about 2 years ago. I always thought I'd want to be a SAHM for so many reasons including that I don't really like my career. But now that I am a SAHM I wish I could say to DH "Well my maternity leave is over & I have to go back to work". He'd never understand & truthfully I'd probably get there & remember why I stopped working in the first place. The grass is always greener as they say. You just have to find happiness & keep evolving if you're unhappy.

PTKate05 · April 2011

My H is a SAHD so I have to go back, too, but I actually can't wait. It is so much easier this time because H will be staying home. I love my job and I have become SO lazy being home for 12 weeks. I know I will be more productive and eat less crap when I am out of the house all day!

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