Do you have room for one more? Re-intro

JThomas221 · April 2011

I'm late posting my re-intro b/c I wanted to catch up on the board and read everyone else's re-intros first! What a great idea to do this b/c I feel closer to everyone here and I think it was therapeutic for everyone to be able to tell their stories again. I'm not on here nearly as much as I'd like to be, but I lurk and give support when I can. I'm in school right now and I work full time, so I can't wait for summer to get here and take a break from school for a couple of months!

My name is Jessi and I've been married to DH for a little over a year now. We started TTC in June 2010 and got our BFP 2 days before Thanksgiving. I was extremely happy but I knew that m/c was always a risk and I guess looking back I must have known somehow this pregnancy wasn't going to go well. Every time I went to the bathroom I checked for blood. It's like I was just waiting for it to happen. I had a sub-chorionic hemorrhage at 6 wks and they classified it as a "threatened m/c" I was terrified and told my family the next day b/c if I was going to miscarry, I wanted them to be able to share in my joy first. It seemed to heal up for the most part and at my follow up u/s we were able to see the heartbeat. I was so relieved and cried through the whole u/s! Baby seemed fine and healthy but the OB scheduled another u/s for 10 wks to make sure the bleeding from the SCH was gone.

The next couple of weeks went by so smoothly and I thought I must be so lucky. This pregnancy was so easy and I was starting to make plans for the baby. We would tell Skids soon (on DH's birthday) and then we would start on the nursery. I was nearing the end of first tri and I was finally starting to stop worrying about a m/c. We were on the home stretch, right? I feel so naive that I thought that. Then I started noticing that my symptoms had lessened. I started telling DH that I just didn't feel pregnant anymore. We convinced ourselves that I was getting used to being pregnant, and besides, symptoms usually wane a little at that point anyway.

I started bleeding on a Sunday night, so my OB squeezed us in the next morning. All of my bloodwork had been coming back fine and my cervix was closed, but the OB ordered an u/s just to be sure. Honestly, DH and I thought we were just going to see our baby move, hear the heartbeat again, and maybe get a couple of pictures. Instead of seeing the little wiggle worm that everyone else on my board was seeing in their u/s, I saw my baby lying so still and fragile looking. It was way too small and I saw that it was measuring at 7w3d, almost 3 weeks behind. At first I couldn't believe it. The u/s tech coudn't tell us anything, but she turned on the sound and started looking for a heartbeat. Of course there wasn't one.

I had a D&C two days later. We waited for AF to show and started TTC again, and here we are on the 3rd cycle post m/c. DH is so supportive and I feel that he really understands my pain even though he has a hard time expressing his. This has been, by far, the most difficult and painful experience of my life and I am so thankful to have found this board and met all of you. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through the last few months without you ladies and for that I am eternally grateful. Thank you for reading and if you've made it this far, have a Drinks on me. ; )

princesscto · April 2011

Thank you for sharing your story, I am fairly new to this board, I havent been able to post my intro yet, I"ve been soo busy the past 2 weeks, I'm in the middle of moving so hopefully soon I can share mine too, I so sorry for your loss, and I wish you nothing but the best in your future, and hopefully a BFP very soon!