Why is my mom so negative?! It's driving me nuts! Vent with question
My mom has always been a bit of a downer. This morning, for the 10th time during my pregnancy, my mom asks me "Are you sure you should have your shower that weekend? (april 30th), and not after the baby is born? what if something happens? remember what happen to your cousin".
My cousin went into pre-term labor at 22 weeks with her twins back in sept (6 days prior to my wedding) and they couldnt stop the labor. She gave birth and the twins passed away shortly after because of undeveloped lungs. (Keep in mind she did a lot of activities that a high risk pregnant lady should not do, She is very outdoorsy.)
I'm 31 weeks (will be 32 at the shower) and only have 1 baking in there. Everything seems to be going well, except for fluid being a on the low side of normal and they can't find his right kidney. Not a problem, other kidney and organs are working fine. I go to the dr. once a week now to be checked, and there are no signs of problems, what so ever. Growth is fine, no fetal distress.
My point (or question, or vent) is that now I'm afraid to wash anything or put anything because my mother decided to bring her negative attitude into the picture. Keep in mind the nursery is finished, I've washed his coming home out-fit only, the pack and play bassinet is already put together etc. I am a planner and I would like to have things ready for him and not be throwing in a load the minute I realize I'm in labor! Plus I know I'll get a lot of stuff I have to wash at the shower. SO... Do I wash some more? Do I hold off? Do I put stuff together? At this point I'm even afraid to put the dang car seat in the car, but at what point do I say 'this baby is coming and we need a car seat in the car"?! When I was born, I didnt even come home in a car seat for crying out loud!!
What have you ladies done? How much have you gotten ready?
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Re: Why is my mom so negative?! It's driving me nuts! Vent with question
It seems like all is going well for you and your baby, which is great and I don't see why at this point you should hold back on your excitement and preparation. It seems like your mom's concerns at this point are a little excessive....you're a lot farther along than your cousin was and the circumstances are completely different.
Personally, I decided to wash the bedding, linens, and the smaller clothing sizes that I have (NB, 0-3, and 3-6 months). I felt like not having everything washed and organized was causing me to feel unprepared and worried and I feel relief now having it all completed.
I don't have the room entirely complete though - I still have to purchase a rug, a glider (going to drive an hour to BRU next weekend to pick one up though), and once we have those items - we'll hang up the wall art that we already have.
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
I also voted procrastination. I'm on my second pregnancy but the same happened with DD. I put off things and then had to rush at the end when the Dr. put me on bed rest and we knew she'd arrive in the next day or two. We had no where for her to sleep when she came home so my parents brought us the bassinet they had used for my brother and i the night before she was born. We got the crib mattress the week after she was born at the baby shower.
I think at this point the odds are in your favour that everything will be fine with your baby. Your mom needs to stop being so negative and bringing up the past. I'd say set up everything YOU want to and wash the 0-3 months for sure. maybe hold off on the 3-6 months because in 3 months you'll likely want to re-wash it so it's fresh again.
I think you need to tell your mom you understand her concerns and fears. However she needs to be more positive and supportive with you because it's causing you alot more stress and worry then you need.
BTW. I had a friend who's son was born with one normal kidney. The other never grew and in the end was re-absorbed by this body. He's a perfectly fine healthy active 4 year old now. So having only 1 kidney likely is no need for major concern.
I voted procrastinate but I also haven't had my shower yet. The room is all painted and ready for furniture and decorations but I am waiting until after my showers in 2 weeks. I decided not to wash any clothes until after then as well.
I would say go ahead with the plans you had before talking to your mother. Like PP have stated you have been having a good pregnancy and are far enough along that if anything happened(god forbid) your LO has great chances. Try not to let negative opinions get you down. Good luck