Miscarriage

sweetpe75 · April 2011

My husband & I got pregnant after 6 months of trying. We found out the blood test came out positive last Tuesday, and yesterday, Friday, I had a miscarriage.

We were planning on telling our Mom's, my brother & SIL on Easter Sunday, because we were so excited I didn't know how much longer I could keep it in. I'll probably see the Dr on Monday, we'll start trying again as soon as he gives us the green light. My husband did end up talking to his mom about it, she's a very good listener and super supportive, because he was upset too. She too had suffered a miscarriage, so she told him, if I want to talk about it, she'll be there for me. I have the best MIL ever!!

My dilemma, now, Do we still tell them we were pregnant but lost the baby?

I feel like I did something wrong, but I know, there was something not right w/the pregnancy and it ended, but it's still difficult. I'm trying to stay strong.

stefani1920 · April 2011

So, so sorry for your loss. I miscarried on wednesday and have this nagging feeling that I could have somehow prevented it (even though I know that It was beyond my control) Its a horrible thing to go through and I just hope and pray the next pregnancy is healthy for both of us

jen629 · April 2011

I am very sorry for your loss. It all depends on how you feel if you tell them. And you did nothing to cause this {{{HUGS}}}

LSzwaya · April 2011

Telling people you miscarried is a personal choice. I prefer to tell people just because for me the hardest part of miscarrying is loving someone so much that the rest of the world doesn't know about. I prefer for people to know because it helps me to know that a child I had, whether it was for 2 weeks or 2 days, is not some secret. Plus, you would be surprised to find out how many other women have lost pregnancies and can be of comfort to you. When people know its okay to be upset and sad instead of having to play pretend that all is OK.

amu1234 · April 2011

I'm so sorrry for your loss! I know that how hard it is to make the decision to tell people. I started with the whole m/c last weekend and had the sac pass on Monday. I made the choice to tell some people but not all. It made me feel better to share what happened so I wouldn't have to "play pretend" the way LSzwaya said. It's a personal choice you need to make, but keep in mind that there are many women out there who have experienced this and that sharing may bring out some stories that can give you some hope and/or comfort.

aeperras · April 2011

I understand how you're feeling. We were for an ultrasound on Thursday and there was no heartbeat. My husband and I decided to wait for my body to miscarry and had planned on telling my sisters tomorrow. My parents knew we were pregnant and we decided to tell my sisters anyway because we know they will be a great support system for us like my parents have been. I agree with everyone else- it is a personal decision. My husband and I have discussed who will tell and have chosen those people because of the support we know they will provide. I felt like I had done something wrong, but now I realize it just isn't our time yet and that we'll be blessed when God feels it is our time. Remember to be thankful this Easter for all the people we have supporting us during this difficult time. Thoughts and prayers to all of you.

LIa0909 · April 2011

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss.

I can't give you much advice on this situation as mine was quite different. But I can say that because everyone knows, I feel a lot less guilty about not being in the "praise Jesus!" kind of mood this year. Its a very personal choice though, and you need to do what you and your DH think is best.

BOTB2011 · April 2011

I am so sorry for your loss! It is hearbreaking...

I agree with the PP that it is definitely a personal choice. Maybe talk it over with DH to see how he feels??

We were going to wait until Mother's Day to tell our families. I only told my Mom last week because she noticed I seemed down and seemed very concerned about me. I do not plan on telling anyone else, at least not right now, because to have to deal with the looks of pity at this time I don't think I could bear.

meeko1985 · April 2011

LSzwaya:
Telling people you miscarried is a personal choice. I prefer to tell people just because for me the hardest part of miscarrying is loving someone so much that the rest of the world doesn't know about. I prefer for people to know because it helps me to know that a child I had, whether it was for 2 weeks or 2 days, is not some secret. Plus, you would be surprised to find out how many other women have lost pregnancies and can be of comfort to you. When people know its okay to be upset and sad instead of having to play pretend that all is OK.

Agreed.

LaTi07 · April 2011

I'm very sorry for your loss. Telling people is a very personal choice. If you want to tell them, then go for it. Don't feel like you HAVE to keep this to yourself. You had a child and now s/he is gone, you have every right to greive that loss and especially talk about it! (hugs)

sweetpe75 · April 2011

Thank you all for the words of advice and support. It means a great deal. I did tell my Mom yesterday and she was suprisingly supportive. Thanks again.

It just wasn't the right time for us.

And I'm sorry for the losses all of you have had as well. Have a Wonderful Easter.

Want a personalized experience?

Miscarriage

Re: Miscarriage

Choose Another Board

Search Boards