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Does it ever bother you...

Julie721Julie721 member
in Trouble TTC
when the fertiles in your life who know your struggles say "well, when you get pregnant..." I guess it bothers me because there is a possibility I could NEVER be pregnant, and they say it so flippantly like it is a given. I need a vacation. Good thing we have one planned in a month!
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Re: Does it ever bother you...

  • JSRICHJSRICH

    when I talk about me getting pregnant I say "if". I have learned it is NOT a guarantee that I or anyone else will ever get pregnant.

    all the women at work try to be positive and when I talk about ttc, I say "if" automatically, and they say "when. when you get pregnant". and Im like you women dont understand the fact that it is not a given in life.

    Im right there with you trust me!! Jealous about the vacay, I need one so bad!

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  • mwlovemwlove

    YES!  My DH's family is notorious for these type of comments all the time.  Last week, MIL stated that DH and I will have kids this time next year.  Ugh to her!

    Have fun on your vacation!

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  • Julie721Julie721 member

    I booked the vacation intentionally knowing if my first two rounds didn't work (and they didn't) that I would need a break. The best thing I could think of was wine tasting in Napa (the one thing none of my KU friends can do!)

     

    Looks like you are both starting on Clomid! Good luck! I hope that's all you need!

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  • JSRICHJSRICH
    imageJulie721:

    I booked the vacation intentionally knowing if my first two rounds didn't work (and they didn't) that I would need a break. The best thing I could think of was wine tasting in Napa (the one thing none of my KU friends can do!)

     

    Looks like you are both starting on Clomid! Good luck! I hope that's all you need!

    thanks Julie! Me too!! I hope cycle 14 is our lucky number!

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  • eandk18eandk18 member
    I think I'm the rare one that it doesn't bother me when people say that.  It gives me hope and makes me feel good to know they believe it will happen.  Probably because I honestly have little faith myself that it ever will at this point.  
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  • mwlovemwlove
    imageJulie721:

    I booked the vacation intentionally knowing if my first two rounds didn't work (and they didn't) that I would need a break. The best thing I could think of was wine tasting in Napa (the one thing none of my KU friends can do!)

     

    Looks like you are both starting on Clomid! Good luck! I hope that's all you need!

     

    I hope so too! Thanks and good luck to you too!

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  • I am Marla SingerI am Marla Singer member
    No- that doesn't bother me for some reason- it's like they are being positive in their thinking without being overbearing. But I totally see where you are coming from. Random things get to me.
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  • allie76allie76 member
    It honestly depends on my mood whether I want to hear that or not. 
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  • CluckyEVCluckyEV member

    imageeandk18:
    I think I'm the rare one that it doesn't bother me when people say that.  It gives me hope and makes me feel good to know they believe it will happen.  Probably because I honestly have little faith myself that it ever will at this point.  

    This!  It is nice that they believe, especially on days when I am not so sure.

    "When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous

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  • dizzycooksdizzycooks member

    Julie, I love the idea of planning a vaca for after a few rounds of treatment.  I may need to steal your idea because our third round of IUI will be in June and I will need a serious vacation if we come to the realization that IVF or adoption are the only choices left...but I degress, in response to the question, no, it doesn't really bug me, but I think that's probably because I don't talk about it with most people so I don't have to hear it very often.  I still talk with DH about "when" we have a baby, but obviously that's not when I am pregnant, there are other ways to acquire a baby...

    One other tangent, I got a big kick out of stuffing my face with sushi while this girl I had just met couldn't because she got pregnant the month after they got married.  Talk about jealousy, I don't even know the woman!  But, the sushi was good :)

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  • amor_eternoamor_eterno member
    Only my BFF really knows, but I think I'd prefer for people to say "when" instead of "if." I also say "when" whenever I'm talking about it. I just feel like I'm being negative or pessimistic when I say when and then it'll never happen. :-/
    Have fun on your vacation!
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  • hunterjumper102hunterjumper102 member

    imageallie76:
    It honestly depends on my mood whether I want to hear that or not. 

     

    This It totally depends on how I am feeling and what is going on at the time.  Most of the time I just like that fact someone has a positive outlook on this process because sometimes I dont. 

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  • kasey9kahnekasey9kahne member
    Take me with you. lol  I need a vaction too.  Have a great one and try not to let those fertiles bother you.
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  • Cheetara2Cheetara2 member
    It doesn't really bother me, I like the optimism. I usually say 'if and when I get pregnant....' Even though I sometimes think negatively about the whole situation, I try to always speak positive about it.

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  • katib77katib77 member

    I like that my close friends have faith that it will happen for us.  They know that I worry about the "IF" but they keep reminding me that it's possible when they say "when"...usually they only say those statements when we have already been talking about my troubles and they say "WHEN you have children, you'll know this was all worth it." or something along those times. 

    What I hate more is people that don't know me say it in a "my child is being annoying" situation.  I work in retail and if a child is being a little crabby I try to make them laugh or smile and sometimes they'll do the "are you a parent? Well when you have kids...."  and all I can think is "Lady, I would LOVE to have a child whine because they are tired of shopping!" They can't even imagine how their statment has hurt me.  THAT is what annoys me.


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  • LindzKLindzK member
    imagehunterjumper102:

    imageallie76:
    It honestly depends on my mood whether I want to hear that or not. 

     

    This It totally depends on how I am feeling and what is going on at the time.  Most of the time I just like that fact someone has a positive outlook on this process because sometimes I dont. 

    This. It totally depends on my mood.  Usually I prefer people to say "when". And when I'm bitter about it, I will correct them with "if". I like to remain positive even if I don't know for sure.

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  • dizzycooksdizzycooks member
    imagekatib77:

    What I hate more is people that don't know me say it in a "my child is being annoying" situation.  I work in retail and if a child is being a little crabby I try to make them laugh or smile and sometimes they'll do the "are you a parent? Well when you have kids...."  and all I can think is "Lady, I would LOVE to have a child whine because they are tired of shopping!" They can't even imagine how their statment has hurt me.  THAT is what annoys me.

    Agreed!
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  • vagueintentionallyvagueintentionally

    edited

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