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June 2011 Moms
butterfly62682
member
Grandparent Rights to Visitation
butterfly62682
member
The reason I am posting this is because right now Alabama is trying to pass a bill that will allow grandparents to take parents to court and sue for visitation rights. I am totally against this law. Not only is it because the government has its nose in too much of my business as it is but it is my God given right as a parent to choose who I allow around my children. I have great grandparents on all sides in my family, however if I felt like it was not in my child's best interest for the grandparents to see them, it should be my choice. What do you think? No flaming, just honest opinions please.
~ Cassie ~
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Grandparent Rights to Visitation
I agree with you. My heart goes out to grandparents who are denied access for no good reason, but I don't think that their feelings should take precedent over parents rights.
BFP 11/18/13. EDD 7/25/14. It's a BOY!
Surprise BFP 7/30/13. EDD 4/7/14. Natural MC 8/24/13
Exactly. This is one of the dumbest laws I've heard of.
It kind of seems like a waste of time and money on a lot of accounts.
Does that mean that the parents wouldn't be able to move out of state or something because the grandparents have visitation rights?
There may be instances when perfectly good grandparents are denied access to their grandchildren, but that doesn't really seem like a legal issue. It sucks, but it's a personal issue.
The only ones who should have "rights" to children are the parents.
wow, that's terrible
i can see in maybe some cases where the child is abused or mistreated by the parent, and the grandparents are kept away this could be helpful, but if it's that bad, then maybe the children shouldn't be with the parents anyway
this is something i wouldn't put past my own mother to do. i haven't talked to her in over 10yrs. she was abusive and had drug issues, so i cut off all communication with her. i would hope that the court system wouldn't award a person like her visitation, but i would be pissed to all hell to even be dragged to court for it by her.
if you're a responsible parent, the courts have no right to interfere with who you choose to have access to your child.
While I agree with what you guys are saying. I do feel the need to point out that there are plenty of cases out there where the actual parents of the child are horrible parents, and the grandparents are trying to either gain custody or visitation rights so that they can love and care for their grandchildren the way those kids deserve. This has been the case in my family before. Luckily, the parent in question (an aunt of mine) had sense enough to see that she wasn't a fit mother and willingly gave up her oldest child to my grandparents to raise. Now, they're raising another one of her kids too. I think the courts should act in the best interest of the child, whether it's that the child should not see their grandparents, or if the grandparents are a better option then the parents.
But, I do agree that the government sticks their nose in plenty of places where it doesn't belong. I am really more bothered by the fact that the government feels like they have to intervene in family matters at all.
If a parent is declared unfit, that's a different story. I thought we were talking about good parents who have decided not to let grandparents be involved. If or when a child is removed from a parent's custody they're usually placed with family first.
This. I don't know what the laws here are but DH's BFF and his wife are the sweetest people on the planet. The wife's mom is a wacadoo, never showed any interest in seeing their child despite the couple's efforts to include her and was emotionally abusive to the wife growing up. One day out of nowhere she just decides she was going to sue them for visitation. Now they are facing court and lots of legal fees because of this.
I didn't think parents could be declared legally "unfit" until the courts got involved. It sounded to me more like a few of the posters thought the grandparents shouldn't be able to take the parents to court over the grandchildren. Usually it's fairly obvious when a child should not be exposed to a certain type of person, and, if the grandparents fall into that category, the courts will side with the parents. So, even though the parents will have the hassle of getting dragged through the court, if the grandparent is bad enough for the parent to want to keep their child away from them, then they theoretically should have nothing to worry about in the end. And, they'll have the added bonus of the grandparent not being able to hassle them over it anymore. Or, the parent could try and skip all of that and just get a restraining order on the grandparent.
I totally agree with the OP. If it starts with grandparents, it can lead to uncles, aunts, and who knows who else. That decision should be up to the parents. Do we really want to live in a place where your 5th cousin can sue you for visitation of your own kids?
The only reservation I might have would be if one parent was deceased and the children had a good, healthy relationship with that set of grandparents. Circumstances should allow the grandparents to see the kids even if the surviving parent dislikes/does not get along with them.
I agree. I don't think it's talking about grandparents rights if the parents are unfit. That's a different story all together. The GPs can sue for custody/legal guardianship then. However, if perfectly fit parents don't want their children around certain people, that's their choice. Unfortunately, this is regardless of the fitness of the parents.
I feel for grandparents in those cases, but I still don't think their rights should trump the rights of the surviving parent. If my husband died tomorrow his parents do not inherit his rights to our kids.
(ftr, I would never deny them seeing the kids)
I'm with this but at the same time if we allow this to go through the system it opens it up for everything. Situations like this break my heart because the grandparents lost their child and then the grandchildren for what ever reason.
What is with Alabama? Isn't this the same state that wanted to pass the miscarrage law? Where if you couldn't prove your body miscarried naturally they wanted to put you in jail?
My mother was manipulative and neglectful. I always said that I didnt want kids, and the primary reason that I changed my mind was because my mother died a few years ago. Under no circumstances would I want her around my kid, even for just a moment. If she was still alive, I could totally see her manipulating a judge her "oh poor me" speech just so she could have visitation with my kids. Unacceptable.
I am the parent and I need to be the one to decide who I do and do not want around my children. This is not a legal matter, it is a personal one and the states need to keep their noses out of it.
Alabama's budget must look a lot better than Texas's if they can afford to fund all the costs of backing this up with social services and legal personnel.
I am not saying that the grandparents should inherit the rights to the child, but I am saying that a healthy relationship should be allowed to be continued with the grandparents.
My MIL is crazy and often outright rude to DH and I, but if DH died I would still allow MIL to see the baby. Though it would be very easy for me to deny her contact if I wished.
There is a big difference when it comes to visitation and custodial rights.
In cases of abuse whether it be mental/emotional, physical or sexual we need to change our laws on that. We are MUCH too lax in the investigation and prosecution of this heinous crime. I will digress at this point due to my very strong personal attachment and opinions on this subject.
It should solely be up to the parents to decide who they want around their children. I do not feel that grandparents have any such rights to the child(ren). Just because my mother gave birth to me does not mean she has any god given or society given right to see my children. That is MY choice and MY choice alone.
One problem with some counties and their CPS program is that they will take the children away before there is any proof of being unfit. The parents must then prove that they are fit parents at their own financial and emotional costs. If the grandparents and parents live in one of these areas the children can be taken away from the parents and given to the grandparents temporarily. This can cause irrevocable damage in so many ways.
Too many people are involved in parenting issues including our government in such unncessary BS and yet there aren't enough people to stand up for real victims. This kind of topic gets me so heated.
I do think it's good for kids to foster meaningful relationships with relatives, I just think that it should be the parents decision to allow that. It's unfortunate that any parent would choose to stand in the way of that, but it should still be their choice (again, I'm talking about a fit parent). There are so many things parents get to decide for their kids and just because we don't agree with those decisions doesn't mean we have the right to force them to do things differently.
Yep, I see this as a child protective services issue, not a gp visitation rights issue. If the gps see that the child is being abused, they shoud call CPS rather than sue for visitation.
I have never heard anything about this. Hmmm. Sometimes my state can be a little backwards!
I don't agree with this bill at all.
My aunt has done something similar concerning her two grandchildren and it drives me absolutely batty. She's not a bad woman or irresponsible but she wanted to be able to control the situation to her liking, especially after she kicked her son (the kids' father) out of her house. Now she gets the kids for one week a year. Over my cold dead body would that be happening if they were my kids. It's not like she doesn't get to see them basically whenever she wants anyway.
I'd flee the country if my dad attempted to gain visitation rights for our daughter. He's an alcoholic, suspected drug addict and suffering from some form of mental illness most likely bi-polar disorder. I would fear for my child's life if left to his care alone. I remember what it was like growing up with him...it's amazing that nothing bad ever happened to my sister or me and that we turned out so well adjusted.
I agree that the situation is very messy when it comes to terrible parents who are not good for their own child. My cousin's daughter is being raised by our grandmother, and that is the best arrangement possible for her.
However, I am a little concerned about giving grandparents rights to their grandchildren. As many of you know, it takes some serious legal action and some serious incidents for courts to take children away from unfit parents. As a teacher, I saw how much the state is willing to let a parent do to his or her child before removing the child from custody.
Under this law would a parent need to sue the grandparents to prove them unfit? What would it take to make them unfit? Very messy indeed.
Agreed, and their are many who are denied rights for good reason too.
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