TTC After a Loss 6 Months+

I feel like a jerk... (March of Dimes walk)

With all that is going on with you ladies, I hope you don't take this post as insensitive.... it really is a stupid problem in comparison to all the losses this board has recently had.

So, here it is.. we are doing our second annual March of Dimes, March for Babies walk on 4/30 in honor of our Haleigh. We did a bunch of fundraising and soon a 1 or 6 mile walk. I have about 25-30 people that will be walking with us and then a big BBQ at our house afterwards. So, this is the deal. I hurt my foot about 8 months ago and was in a boot for 4 months. It is a bone problem that can't be fixed and still hurts. I don't think I can walk. I will have 25-30 people walking and I won't??? That is horse sh!t! How can I ask them to wake up at 7am and walk 6 miles in honor of our baby girl and all those other babies that need MoD's help ... and I not be there. Of course I will show up in the morning... but then go home?

I guess I could technically try to walk it - but it is like a 90% guarantee that I would end up in the dang boot again...and I so don't want to do that again. I guess I could do the 1 mile and then, what, tell everyone I will meet them back at my house afterwards?

I feel like a total @sshole.....

Suggestion?

Re: I feel like a jerk... (March of Dimes walk)

  • Don't feel like an a**hole! You didn't anticipate any of the foot stuff, and you certainly aren't just looking for an excuse.

    Do you have to walk, though? Could you bike it? Rollerblade? Scooter?

    I'm sorry it's not working out exactly as you wanted it to, but you're certainly no a**hole!

    12 long, hard years of TTC-
    Miscarriages, losses, lots of treatments & drugs & IVF


    Natural BFP (WTF?!) - 06/04/11 ~ lots of complication and drama, but sweet baby Adele born 02/07/12!

    BFP #million -another girl for us! EDD - 05-08-15 (but will come early)

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  • imageEntropicEpona:

    Don't feel like an a**hole! You didn't anticipate any of the foot stuff, and you certainly aren't just looking for an excuse.

    Do you have to walk, though? Could you bike it? Rollerblade? Scooter?

    I'm sorry it's not working out exactly as you wanted it to, but you're certainly no a**hole!

    I sure fee like one! First, I ask for their money, then I ask them to walk 6 miles in the heat... and then, to top it all off, I DONT WALK? Uggghhh.... There will be like 7,000 people walking, bikes, scooters, etc wouldn't be safe... The whole things sucks. I feel like I am taking advantage of my friends and family...

  • imageEntropicEpona:

    Don't feel like an a**hole! You didn't anticipate any of the foot stuff, and you certainly aren't just looking for an excuse.

    Do you have to walk, though? Could you bike it? Rollerblade? Scooter?

    I'm sorry it's not working out exactly as you wanted it to, but you're certainly no a**hole!

    This or what Wicked said about the wheel chair.  I probably wouldn't bat an eye if you left after the beginning especially if you explain about the injury. I would probaly think you were going home to get ready for the BBQ.

    dd(Brianna) 11/01/94, ds(Bram)10/17/95, ds(Jesse)9/26/97, dd (Annie Ruth) 7/27/05 5mc Jan '08, May '08, Feb '09, Sept '09, Apr '11 "And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of vast eternity can fill it up." - Charles Dickens

    PAL/PGAL Welcome

  • Don't feel like a jerk! Just explain to people you are injured. They're not doing the walk because you can walk. They're doing it to show their love and support for your family.
  • I think if you explain everything people will understand and if you're not comfortable in the wheelchair, maybe you could be there at the beginning and then drive to the end to be cheering for everyone when they finish.
  • Sending hugs, you aren't a jerk. I would cheer them on when they start and perhaps at the finish line. I'm sure your friends and family will understand about your foot.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

  • I'd hope your friends and family would understand.  Could you be there at the end with water bottles and snacky foods? Or use a wheelchair?
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  • I agree with Colinda and Entropic.  Tell them what happened.  People will be respectful when you are up front and they won't feel hurt or upset about it.  The purpose is helping babies and that is what they "bought into", not you walking.  Much love.  It will be ok and I hope you heal quickly. 
    Forever buddy to Angelica; Natural Miscarriage Jan. 2008 @ 11 weeks; 2 years of BFFN's; DX: Unexplained IF (RE thinks IF is due to tubal issues); IUI #1 & 2= BFFN; IUI#3 = BFP, resulted in Cornual ectopic pregnancy; IUI #4 - 6 =BFFN; Our next endeavor... IVF. 1 grade AA embryo transferred on 4-23-2011 and 5 frosties. BFP Abby born 1/5/2012

    imageimageimage
  • You are not a jerk.  The people are walking because they love you and want to support you and remember Haleigh.  They want to support MOD and the fight.  Because of all of this, they will totally understand that you can't walk all of it.  I would start off with them, then check in on them at various points along the walk and then be at the finish line. 
    imageimage
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
    April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
  • Maybe you can volunteer along the course somewhere?  Don't feel bad! 
    Connor Thomas 6/6/08. Discovered missed miscarriage at 17 wks 3 days, D&C 11/25/09. Please, please, please - BFP 5/21/11, EDD 2/1/11. Beta@12DPO=52, Beta@14DPO=158. U/S 7/7/11 shows strong baby measuring a couple days ahead!!! Pregnancy Ticker
  • You shouldn't feel like a jerk.  As someone who is also dealing with an injured foot, if you think walking is going to reaggravate the injury, please don't do it!  People will understand...I liked what other people said about waiting at the finish line to cheer people on. 
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • You are definitely not a jerk! People who love and care about you will understand. Anyone else can just suck it. I do like the wheelchair idea. ((hugs))

    BFP 12/18/2009. HB 1/4/2010. NO HB 1/18/2010. D&C 1/19/2010
    April 2011 IUI #1 BFN. High FSH and other issues.
    May 2011 Chose to build our family through adoption
    September 2011 Actively waiting for a match
    11/26/11 Surprise BFP * DD born 7/23/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Don't hurt yourself! Jack and I will be there no matter what ( though doing the short loop again). we do it because we love you. If it is going to cause you pain then just be our cheerleader. No one wants to see you hurt.
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