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Adoption
As an adopted child...
As an adopted child who is in contact with their biological mother, it is sometimes a juggling act. I noticed the post below where the poster expressed fear that her adoptive mother may not understand her desire to meet her biological mother. I can relate 100%. My parents were always open about the fact that myself and my siblings were adopted. That didn't mean that they did not feel threatened when I found my biological mother. It has been a juggling act. Fortunately, my biological mother is very understanding, and she seldom asks for more from me than I can give. I know this hurts her, but I have had to find a balance that includes her in my life.
I found this poem not long after I came in contact with my birth mother. I thought I would share it with you ladies.
Once there were two women who didn't know each other
One you do not remember, the other you call mother
Two different lives, shaped to make yours one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first gave you life, the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears
One gave you up, it was all she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you
And now you ask me through your tears,
the age old questions through the years
Hereditary or environment - which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither, just two different kinds of love.
Author Unknown
found on www.lifetimeadoption.com
I respect and admire you ladies so much. My mother was unable to carry a child due to physical issues. She could get pregnant, but miscarried numerous times. Adoption was how my parents built their family. Adoption poses its own challenges and issues.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: As an adopted child...
I don't mind at all.
I actually found her by accident. I'll try to summarize the story :-)
Growing up, I always knew I was adopted, and I'd always felt the need to search for my birth mother, and my adoptive parents always said they would give me any information they had when I turned 18.
By the time I turned 18, I had actually changed my mind and decided that I didn't want to search. One evening, when I was at University (19 yo), I was surfing the internet. There was a banner ad for an adoption site. It had a registry where you put in your birth date.
Out of curiosity, I put in mine. I knew three things about my birth:
1) my original name - let's say Jane.
2) the city where I was born - Ottawa
3) my birthdate - let's say January 1, 1981.
The first search result that came up read: "I am looking for my birth daughter Jane, born January 1, 1981 in Ottawa, Ontario" (plus some other information such as the hospital I think)
Obviously, I knew that it was me. I started shaking and crying. I wasn't prepared for it. But I knew I couldn't ignore it. So, I created an anonomys (sp?) email and emailed her. And, well, the rest is history.
"God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it" 1 Corinthians 10:13